Gutfeld on limiting coronavirus lawsuits
Coronavirus-related lawsuits explode amid COVID-19 crisis.
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I’m just going to list some lawsuits arising from the coronavirus pandemic, straight from The Washington Post.
Airlines have been sued over grounded flights. Ticket brokers have been sued over canceled events. Insurers have been sued over coverage limits. Grocers and Internet retailers have been sued over rising prices.
Hospitals have been sued over protective gear. Universities have been sued over closures. Amusement parks have been sued over unusable season passes. Ski resorts have been sued over refunds. Strip clubs have sued for federal benefits.
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A church has been sued for holding services. Cruise lines have been sued for sailing with the virus. Banks have been sued for helping existing customers first. Gyms have been sued for collecting membership fees. Walmart has been sued for allegedly allowing a sick worker to infect others.
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Target has been sued over the efficacy of its hand sanitizer. Hooters has been sued over allegedly stinting on severance. Ride-hailing firms have been sued over sick leave. And multiple employers have been sued for allegedly firing workers who complained about safety measures.
So here's a suggestion. When the lockdown lifts, everyone should go back to work – except the lawyers. Seriously. I think this is the first time we are starting a civilization with the burden of lawyers.
When the world began, you didn't need a real estate lawyer to buy a cave. The witch doctor didn’t have to get malpractice insurance. There were no recalls on the wheel. And do you think we'd even have fire if a lawyer was near?
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So to get us out of this hole today, we need lawyers to lighten up. Congress should attach legal immunity to these bailouts, so companies and organizations don’t get ruined again – by some guy yelled "cough" in a crowded theater.
Then when the economy returns, we can get back to suing the crap out of each other. This seems like a plan we can all get behind. Except maybe the lawyers. Which means it has to be good.
Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on April 29, 2020.
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