So it's no longer a border crisis. It's an unmitigated border disaster megacrisis.
Thousands upon thousands living under a Texas bridge. And not in a good way. You know if this were spring break, and those were partying undergrads, the outrage would be palpable! It's a super spreader event! Where are the masks? Why aren’t they 6 feet apart? What do they think this is – the Emmys?
Which raises the obvious question: how did it get this bad?
It’s simple: the media does its best not to cover bad news when their guy is in office. Or in Delaware. Or wherever Joe’s wandered off to in an open robe, his hands sticky from rocky road.
Remember it’s not what they report on, it’s what they omit that does the real damage. As long as Democrats are in power, the media holds the reins.
Yes, the reins. We'll get to that.
Now Fox covered the border under both Trump and Biden. And the fact is, we’d all be like Biden and Harris, totally clueless about the border – if it weren't for Fox News' amazing coverage.
If Trump were in charge, you can bet the networks would be covering it like the Kennedy assassination. They’d be patting themselves on the back with one hand and doing god-knows-what with the other.
Instead, they buried this story like Jill Biden does with a Prevagen pill in Joe's morning scone.
So it takes Fox News to shame the crummy media into doing their job.
Consider this: more than 12,000 migrants are packed in a refugee camp. In America. A camp. Remember that phrase? How the media often predicted Trump was gunna put people in camps! They got the camps part right – except it took them to elect Biden, so they could get the camps! Just like that famous Republican tyrant, FDR.
And what do you hear from the media? They’re as quiet Joe in his 1 pm nap. Until now.
Yep – in case you wondered if there was a way to get the media to finally care about the border – there is: flip it so that we Americans become the monsters. Then their heads turn so fast they’ll need a chiropractor.
So out comes a story that the Border Patrol on horseback were whipping Haitians trying to enter the country. Yes, Americans were whipping Black people. Again! Just like the old days when Democrats were in charge.
And so the media is now all over this story, spreading this unchecked manure like a professional landscaper. They know if the story can be wielded as a weapon against America, they'd do it – whether it’s true, or not.
When it comes to hating America the Taliban has nothing on these clowns.
Initially, both the DHS secretary and the Border Patrol chief explained that those aren't whips but reins to control the horses. Which may make sense – it protects the horses, and the people closest to them.
But don’t tell that to the media, who can only react to images that inflame them. Remember Covington? Who needs context when you have one inflammatory moment.
Here's a picture of Border Patrol agent on a horse, in a stream. So – how long before CNN accuses these border patrolmen of trying to drown horses in the Rio Grande?
Now it’s been a while since I rode a horse – Kentucky Derby 2004 – I came in eighth – turns out you have to be on top of the horse. But even I knew this story to be odd.
Yamiche Alcindor of PBS described the Border Patrol as "seemingly using whips" before asking Jen Psaki if they should be fired. "Seemingly." Just like PBS is "seemingly" a news organization just because they have three letters in their name. Even if those letters stand for "pure bulls***."
But I guess the suffering of 12,000 refugees didn’t matter until she found someone in law enforcement to smear.
Jen Psaki, Sept. 20: I mean, Yamiche, it's all good questions. We just saw this footage. It's horrible to watch. I just have to get more information on it. (April Ryan interjects) Again, April, I don't have more information on it. I've also seen the video. I can't imagine what the scenario is where that would be appropriate.
I can imagine the scenario! But enough about my Golden Girls fantasy. In it, I’m tied up and each one has a riding crop.
Remember the good old days when reporters actually used their brains, and their feet, and ran down a story. Yeah, neither do I. Now they just see something online, and that’s their source.
It’s a common thing – ignore a big story because those images undermine your political side. But embrace one image, because they can then frame it any way they want. So run with the image, ask questions later – call it Covington 101.
*Skit of reporters working with an editor making assumptions about pictures from social media*
And so the story also snagged ABC – who prior to this, didn't give a crap about the border crisis.
David Muir: There are alarming images from the Texas border tonight. The White House pressed on them today, calling the images ‘horrific.’ what were some border patrol agents doing.
But hey, look at what these agents are doing! Yeah, it’s called their job, Muir! Try it sometime! Turns out he's as shallow as a supermodel in a kiddie pool.
And finally, the second dumbest man on CNN, goes all in, with the slavery analogy.
Chris Cuomo, Sept. 20: We really are in the throes of this country of figuring out who we are and what we're about. And I was taken aback by a single image that should make you pay attention to a problem, as an image, to me it does smack of a bygone era of slavery aided by reports of people being beaten whether with a riding crop or the reins, most likely. You may be drawn to the desperation of the man trying to escape. Others in the desperation of keeping our borders safe of what I believe the former president tried to depict as a brown menace at our border. None of this, none of it is new and it is not isolated.
Yes – none of this is new if you mean the hot garbage spewing forth from your gaping, lying pie hole. But I don’t blame this jackass for not covering the border. He was too busy defending his corrupt brother and trying to save his job on a network hooked up to a respirator and in grave condition. Don’t let his brother near the network.
So instead of focusing on the thousands of Haitians living under a bridge, Chris grasped hold of one outrageous image – like it was his favorite plastic dumbbell, and I don’t mean Don Lemon.
I guess we should be grateful for a liberal media finally paying attention to this crisis they helped create by getting Biden elected. But it has nothing to do with compassion or journalism.
They just found a way to do the story – so it’s not about the White House – but evil law enforcement. It’s about Americans trying to do their jobs, cause the administration, and the media won’t do theirs. And now you watch the hacks in government changing their tune.
Alejandro Mayorkas, Sept. 20: Reporter: images have come out of border patrol agents whipping Haitian immigrants. So my question to you: do you think that's a humane way to treat migrants? // Mayorkas: you are assuming facts, if I may say respectfully, you are assuming facts that have not yet been determined. // to ensure control of the horse, long reins are used. But we are going to investigate the facts to ensure that the situation is as we understand it to be and if it is anything different we will respond accordingly.
Alejandro Mayorkas: Sept. 21: Any mistreatment or abuse against a migrant is unacceptable, is against border patrol policy.
You see my point? It would be one thing if the press or Mayorkas had cared about the crisis while we cared about the crisis. You know: if they followed this story, and the government had acted – we wouldn't even be discussing this story. Because it wouldn’t exist.
Fact is – this is just about seizing a story that suits them. They found a boogie man – a cop on a horse. And that’s all they needed to pretend to care, when they really, truly don’t give a damn at all.
This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the Sept. 21, 2021 edition of "Gutfeld!"