Jessica Alba Meditates in a Bikini, Melt Shop Grills Up a Ginormous Sandwich, and Much, Much More

Here's what's happening out there:

On Monday morning, Jessica Alba shared a bikini photo on Instagram from an unnamed tropical paradise. The photo's caption makes it clear she's advertising ZICO coconut water, but we think the pic serves as a much better advertisement for being Jessica Alba's personal photographer.

NYC's Melt Shop serves up decadent grilled cheese sandwiches all day long — especially at breakfast. Check out the video above to watch them whip up their most popular a.m. offering, which is basically an entire breakfast menu stuffed into a cheese sandwich. Your arteries won't thank you, but your tastebuds will.

Also flaunting her bikini body this weekend was Taylor Swift, who Instagrammed several beachy snapshots from Maui (see one below), where she was apparently vacationing with the entirety of the band Haim. And surprisingly, it was one of the Haim girls wearing a 1950s-ish bathing suit, and not Swift, as "SNL" would have us believe.

Speaking of Swift, DJ/music producer Diplo stated that Taylor Swift's fans are "the worst people in the world," calling them "mean-spirited, evil human beings" in a recent interview with GQ. But not to worry — all of Swift's fans have since shaken it off.

The Screen Actors Guild Awards took place on Sunday evening in Los Angeles. The casts of "Birdman" and "Orange is the New Black" took home the night's top honors, which proves two things: "Birdman" has a good shot at taking home the Academy Award for Best Picture; and orange will soon be an acceptable shade for nighttime and funeral attire.

Also at the SAG Awards, "Birdman" actress Naomi Watts tripped over Emma Stone's dress while accepting the award for Outstanding Performance By a Cast in a Motion Picture. You can watch it below if you like, but it's not really that big of a deal. In other words, Watts still has a long way to go if she's trying to dethrone Jennifer Lawrence as our clumsiest movie star.

In celebrity breakup news, musicians Mandy Moore and Ryan Adams have decided to call it quits after six years of Ryan Adams being allowed to marry out of his league.

Miss Colombia was crowned Miss Universe on Sunday night in — of all places in the universe — Doral, Florida. It should be noted, however, that audible boos filled the auditorium when Miss Jamaica was announced as the fourth runner-up (below), but it's just as well. Now she can stop pretending like Doral, Florida, is the hippest new destination in America and not just some resort town that Donald Trump has a stake in.

Miley Cyrus and Katy Perry were reportedly acting like best buds at the Fashion Los Angeles Awards last week. You can see how chummy they were in the photo below, but you might also notice that the word "fashion" now refers to oversized t-shirts and, in Katy's case, what appears to be a muppet costume:

After debuting their first collaboration earlier this month, Paul McCartney and Kanye West are now lending their talents to Rihanna's newest single "FourFiveSeconds." This must come as especially frustrating news to poor Ringo Starr, with whom McCartney hasn't collaborated in almost two decades.

On Saturday in Washington, D.C., Kim Kardashian accompanied Kanye West to the 2015 BET Honors wearing a dress that resembled long tresses of human hair winding around her body (below). We imagine this is a lot like what Cousin Itt's daughter would look like had he once procreated with Kris Jenner.

And finally, Kate Middleton and Prince William are currently vacationing on the private Caribbean island of Mustique with Kate's parents and little Prince George. We don't know why they're wasting their time in Mustique, though. Everybody knows the real fun is in Kenosha, Wisconsin. They've got three Dairy Queens!