"The Big Bang Theory" ended its 11th season with a big wedding, but the TV show bride, Mayim Bialik, has revealed how she really felt on Amy's big day.
On Thursday night, fan-favorite TV couple Sheldon Cooper and Amy Fowler, played by Jim Parsons and Bialik, finally took the big leap and tied the knot.
But the longtime "Big Bang" actress admitted that she was feeling the wedding day pressure along with her character and said she "didn't feel beautiful," while wearing Amy Fowler's wedding gown.
On her website, Grok Nation, the 42-year-old opened up about what it was like her to film the big wedding day scene for the series.
Bialik confessed she has never felt comfortable in wedding dresses.
"Wearing a wedding dress is not comfortable for me. When I myself got married, I wasn’t even comfortable with it. Too frilly, too feminine, too… predictable," the star wrote, adding that in her real-life wedding she wore a "very untraditional" lace Victorian dress with black satin heels, which she took off immediately after the ceremony and replaced them with knee-high white Doc Martens for the reception.
But for her TV show character, the star sucked up her true feelings and donned a big, frilly wedding ensemble.
Claiming that she wore the dress because Amy felt beautiful, she said that she did not — in part due to struggles with health issues and weight.
“I didn’t feel beautiful. I had started losing weight a few months ago. Why? Because I needed to,” she wrote. “I was not comfortable at my weight and I started eating much better and exercising and lo and behold; I lost some weight. I felt so much more comfortable in my own skin. And then I got a series of antibiotic-needing bacterial illnesses and was not allowed to work out for a month. And so, I gained the weight back. I wanted to keep losing. And instead, I’m back to not being comfortable.
"So I felt ashamed. I felt like maybe the wardrobe ladies were looking at me like, ‘Oh, she tried to lose weight and maybe she didn’t have the willpower.’ They probably would never think that; it’s my brain thinking that. But that’s the truth. I didn’t feel my best. And I felt crummy about it. Even though everyone said I looked beautiful, I didn’t feel completely beautiful.”
Bialik also expressed that she felt uncomfortable about the close-up shot of her hands during the TV ceremony.
"I’m a nail biter. Have been since I was a little girl. I wanted so badly to grow my nails for this episode. And I totally thought I could. And would. And it didn’t happen. Just didn’t happen," she admitted. "When they did a close-up of Jim putting the ring on my hand, I wanted to say, “NO!”— but I can’t. And that’s just Amy’s hands. I am her. She is me. We had an anxious few weeks. Forgive us."