Finally, a bitchin’ all-electric vehicle for moms and dads on carpool duty. Make that moms and dads with deep pockets and a need for speed.
Last night Elon Musk, a father of five himself, introduced the world to Tesla’s brand new Model X SUV -- a seven-seat stunner for the whole family and then some. He unveiled the $132,000 folding falcon-winged beast at a jam-packed event at Tesla’s Fremont, Calif., factory 12 hours ago and the rave reviews continue to pour in.
The unveiling, the flashy climax of three years of teasing, was a rare family affair, at least on stage. Musk, ever the ringleader, ushered a parade of shiny, new Model Xs onto the grandstand, including one hauling a 5,000-pound Airstream, a surfboard, a family of six and a driver, plus a grip of luggage and a double stroller. A pair of kid brothers emerged from the trailer-hitched crossover vehicle, following by their parents, each carrying an adorable baby.
Point perfectly made, Tesla. The Model X is parent’s dream on wheels, mom jeans and dad bods be damned. We can be cool again.
As for juicy speed specs, the sleek luxury whip zips from zero to 60 in 3.2 seconds in “Ludicrous Speed” mode -- you know, in case you’re ludicrously late for a PTA meeting or a well-baby check or whatever. As for maximum speed, the 90 kWh hatchback tops out at 155 miles per hour, with a 257-mile range on a single charge. That’s hold the hell on, kids, fast, faster than a Lamborghini Gallardo LP570-4, a McLaren MP4-12C and a Ferrari Spider 458 4.5 V8. How’s that for a killer minivan, mom?
Tesla’s inaugural SUV even packs paranoid post-apocalyptic protection for you and yours, thanks to Musk’s undying obsession with humanity’s bright future, we’re sure. Simply push the dashboard Bioweapon Defense Mode Button and the Model X delivers a reassuring, HEPA air-filtered burst of “hospital level air quality” H2O. “If there’s ever sort of an apocalyptic scenario of some kind, hypothetically, you just press the Bioweapon Defense Mode Button,” Musk said, sinisterly giggling throughout. The crowd ate it up, laughing and screaming.
Next, Musk flapped about the wings, those gorgeous DeLorean-like hinged wings everyone’s buzzing about. He showed off how smoothly the sensor-loaded undulating doors open and close, even in cramped spaces, with an Audi crossover and a Honda minivan rolling up tightly on either side of a white Model X. The billionaire said his own struggles to shimmy his twins into third-row car seats inspired the incorporation of winged doors into the design.
Itching for your very own Model X and don’t mind draining the kids’ college savings? Sorry, pops, you’ll have to cool your jets a while. Existing models are already sold out and Tesla estimates new reservations won’t ship until “the latter half of 2016.”
If you missed Musk’s big show last night, you can feast your eyes on the whole shebang right here. Vroom, vroom.