Gutfeld: The media need to focus on reality instead of fear

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Gutfeld: The media need to focus on reality instead of fear

The real world under President Trump looks nothing like the manufactured conflict.

This is a rush transcript from "The Greg Gutfeld Show," July 21, 2018. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

RACHEL MADDOW, ANCHOR, MSNBC: Even if you don't like me, you might be interested in hearing from the person who were going to be hosting tonight for the interview. I'm just staying. Just stress out, bear with it through me, somebody better is coming up. Trust me.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Well, thanks. All right, it is Saturday night which means it's time to.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Take a deep breath with Greg Gutfeld.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: All right, if you paid attention to the media you are convinced it was once again the end of the freaking world. Kind of like this.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

JEANINE PIRRO, HOST, "JUSTICE WITH JUDGE JEANINE": You said you were...

WHOOPI GOLBERG, "THE VIEW" CO-HOST: It was horrible.

PIRRO: When people who shouldn't be here end up murdering the children of American citizens.

GOLDBERG: You know what's horrible, when the president of the United States whips up people to beat the hell out of people. Say goodbye.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I'd say that is worse than "The View" but it is "The View." Let me break it to you, America. Stuff is good, jobs, economy. If Trump is in anyone's pockets, it's yours and he's dumping wads of cash in it. We are powerful, we're prosperous, we're peaceful. We are happy. At least happier that we were under Obama. That is from a poll, I believe polls, according to that same poll, this is great, this is great. Most people know that the media is nuts.

Fewer than 1% think Russia is a big deal. The media is completely preoccupied by something less than 1% care about. How disconnected can you be? In terms of significance, to most Americans, Russia is tied to my third nipple. It's an adorable one. But I get it, it's hard to tell what matters with our media. Every day their hair is on fire and that includes this chap who has none. So many cartoon Cronkites.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DON LEMON, ANCHOR, CNN: What we all saw and heard in Helsinki today is really frightening and absolutely shameful display by an American president with the whole world watching.

CHRIS CUOMO, ANCHOR, CNN: As you see behind me, there's a little bit of a gloom now. It's set in right after the world witnessed the betrayal, the likes of which we've never seen. Americans president sided with its enemy today. Shock has turned to a national shunning as America finds unity in President Trump's perfidy.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Perfidy. Somebody found a thesaurus. They make Chicken Little a comatose and now Trump has invited - get this, as Trump invited Putin to America. The media screams but I love it. The media says "Please, please don't do X," and Trump says, "Here is X squared."

He knows. He can't win with the media who can't see what is obvious to the rest of us. We know the real world looks nothing like what they see. Here's the MSNBC's coverage of Trump's last press conference.

GUTFELD: The reality, your life is actually getting better, yet the media's mentality keeps getting worse. Why is that? It's because in their heads, they are watching something totally different.

The media sees the news as a scripted event and they are furious Trump won't read from their script. He reads from his own, so while the media panics over Trump's refusal to play the lead in their movie, he stars in his own, building up the military, demanding NATO pay for their defense, toying with Putin's pipeline, Army Ukraine, it's like Sergeant Rock versus The Three Stooges, but if Trump is Putin's stooge, he's doing a total Curly to their Moe.

Do they really think deal making is how you destroy America? It reminds me of a movie.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: In 1962, the world met the Manchurian candidate. He was an American prisoner of war, brainwashed by the communists into be an unwitting assassin against his own country. Now comes the long awaited sequel.

MADDOW: We haven't ever had to reckon with the possibility that somebody has ascended to the presidency of the United States to serve the interests of another country rather than our own.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: He was a real estate mogul turned reality show host, but a foreign power made him their sleeper agent.

CHRIS MATTHEWS, ANCHOR, MSNBC: It was a shocking display of surrender unlike anything we've seen from our American President.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: But what the enemy did not know was that when he finally rose to the top, he'd do unspeakable things like cutting taxes, lowering the unemployment rate, demanding NATO allies pay their fair share, growing the economy and neutralizing nuclear threats. Nude man on a unicorn surfing on a bread stick teaching another unicorn how to surf on a bread stick films presents Vladimir Putin , Chris Matthews, and Donald Trump as the worst Manchurian candidate ever, "The Manchurian Candidate 2: The Worst Manchurian Candidate Ever."

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: It is so obvious. For Trump, a Russia deal is just a deal like buying a car except it's peace and prosperity. Watch any good salesman and you'll see somebody ignoring all the negatives and zeroing in on the close. The past is the past until after the handshake, which is why Trump does not get all the outrage over this.

He is like every husband who says the wrong thing and does not know why he suddenly is ducking a potted plant. It is true. After all, dialogue is a very important thing and it's a very good thing.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

DONALD TRUMP, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Dialogue is a very important thing and it is a very good thing. If we get along with them, great; if we don't get along with them, then we won't get along with them.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Exactly. How easy is that to follow. He knows being polite to a thug is a small price to pay to neutralize a few nuclear threats. I'll give you a pat on the back in public, Vlad if you give us Syria, Iran, North Korea and fix your damn alphabet. I mean, what the hell is this?

I don't know. In reality, Putin is just another mob boss you've got to grease to get that new casino off the ground. So in the press fantasy, any time Trump is polite to anyone that is proof of conspiracy. In reality though, is having conversations with Putin or Kim the same as colluding? No wonder collusion is in the air. It's made out of nothing. No, you avoid conflict through conversation. Sorry, you can't just ignore Russia like it's Jim Acosta at a press conference. Yet, so many progressives hate progress.

Ironically, Trump may do more for the cause of peace than any left limping President ever could because he's dealing from a position of strength. What a surprise? A 73 -year-old billionaire who is dealt with thugs his whole life is succeeding where a grad student who writes bad poetry couldn't.

How is that? He got the stick and the carrot in the right order. You build up the military, that is the stick then comes the carrot. Liberals do the opposite. They declare sticks a threat to the environment and then they bury our enemies in carrots. But Trump dealing with Putin in Trump's pocket is a big stick and he's not just happy to see him.

Let's welcome tonight's guests. If he ever become a porn star, he won't have to change his name, former CIA Officer and radio TV host, Buck Sexton. Practicing her name, I'm practicing her name. She is our business reporter from north of the border, the best Canadian import since Molson Beer, Fox Business Network reporter Kristina Partsinevelos. Partsinevelos. She's so bright the sun seeks shade from her. National Review reporter Kat Timpf. I could say her name. And just like the Vatican, he's famous for his mass. That's a great one. WWE superstar massive sidekick, Tyrus.

Buck, I love this week. I love this week. It was hilarious. Every day I was laughing.

BUCK SEXTON, FORMER CIA OFFICER: It was the Super Bowl of snowflake-ism. It was like nothing I have ever seen in my life. You've never seen so much pearl clutching. In fact, wherever he set the boundaries of what is too crazy for mainstream media publications to say, "Okay, look, press conference wasn't amazing. This isn't the second coming of (inaudible)," I can understand why some people might have some here, but it's not as bad as Pearl Harbor. Bam. Headline. It's as bad as Pearl Harbor.

Somebody even compared it to Kristallnacht I'm like, is this is just because you don't want to do the usual Hitler-ian things, so you started to get specific. These people completely lost their minds, and now, we're at the end of the week, and then we know people don't care about it because we've got Avenatti back on TV, so this is the loop. This is the script.

GUTFELD: It's true. It's true. Now, it's back to porn stars and sex. The way I like it, ladies and gentlemen. All right, Kristina, you cover money and business and you do it well at Fox Business. The economy seems immune to any of the stuff and Americans seem immune.

KRISTINA PARTSINEVELOS, REPORTER, FOX BUSINESS: It's true. It's true, we just hit the lowest unemployment rate that we've seen since 1969 and I need to appreciate that day, and then we're also - well, since you're talking about your third nipple already, jobs, and porn stars.

(CROSSTALK)

PARTSINEVELOS: But more importantly, yes, he is doing well. We had a bunch of earnings that came out this week, very, very strong; however because a cover business news, my only color is green. We have to be concerned about the trade tariffs.

GUTFELD: I agree.

PARTSINEVELOS: And inflation coming up seeing lack of wage growth, so those are three factors that weigh heavily on the economy.

GUTFELD: I am worried. And if that stuff happens, it can go south, he's going to be in a bit of trouble.

PARTSINEVELOS: Oh, definitely. Definitely, because he's taking credit for this big boom right and if it goes south, he's going to hit by the media.

GUTFELD: Kat, what do you say about the second summit? Aren't you excited? Putin is going to come here, maybe he'll go to Mar-a-Lago, maybe we could throw him a military parade.

KAT TIMPF, REPORTER, NATIONAL REVIEW: I know that there is going to be a lot of outrage even if it goes well. It doesn't really matter because we saw with this press conference this week, we saw Trump saying the exact same things as he's been saying since he was a candidate saying he wanted to get along with Putin. You may like it, you may not like it, but it's not new.

And yet, everybody reacted as if it was some sort of crazy new thing. It wasn't some crazy new thing. It was exactly what he's been saying. It's almost as if people aren't actually paying attention to the news and just when they see other people get mad, they get mad, too because they want to all be in a nice little mad club where they just breathe on each other really heavily.

GUTFELD: I agree. It's all about being mad. Tyrus, anything bother you about this?

GEORGE "TYRUS" MURDOCH, FORMER WWE SUPERSTAR: Yes, I'm pissed. I will tell you why,, it never should have happened. It has nothing to do with anything you're thinking. He made him wait an hour.

GUTFELD: Putin made him wait.

MURDOCH: I would have left my girl in the house if she made me wait 15 minutes. This is the United States of America. We wait for no one. When he got there, there should be a little intern there going, "I'm sorry, you missed the President, Mr. Putin. Maybe next time." Like that's the only thing I was mad about. We don't wait. We don't wait. Are you out of your mind? But whatever, okay, I'll let that pass.

The press conference to me, I always look at things through my life half, and I've been out in a restaurant with lots friends and maybe you are having some issues at home and the press is the angry girlfriend who decides to bring up something personal while you're trying to entertain friends and you have that awkward - why would you bring that up here? I'm with my friends, what the hell? That is basically what happened with Donald Trump and the press.

They started asking questions. You see them, they're going - it's like you're going to bring up my bastard child right now in a serious meeting like, this is the place that we need to bring this up? Like, I'm sorry, Reverend, just give me a second. Why are you doing this when we go out? This is why I don't take you nowhere.

GUTFELD: That is so true. That's what ...

MURDOCH: And his love child.

GUTFELD: Yes, his love child. No, but it's true. It's like, he is saying- I'm trying to deal with this guy. We can talk about that stuff later. No, I want to talk about it now.

MURDOCH: Exactly.

(CROSSTALK)

SEXTON: That was a (inaudible) voice.

GUTFELD: I'm pretty good. I'm sorry, I wasn't imitating you, Kristina. There was no "eh" from the Canadian side.

PARTSINEVELOS: I don't say that and I don't say boot either, and I don't drink Molson. It's garbage.

GUTFELD: What do you drink? What's that? It is garbage.

PARTSINEVELOS: I just don't say that ...

GUTFELD: I don't know. I'm excited and I'm excited for the next summit and I can't wait. I hope I get to go. All right, I'm most excited for my book. Don't forget, you can preorder it it. The "Gutfeld Monologues," here it is. It's also in stores July 31st and the book tour starts August 4th, and I recorded the audio book last week and it has got a lot of surprises in there. I'll be in Fort Worth, Dallas, Woodlands, Texas and you can get to see the rest of the current schedule right there on the screen. More dates to be announced. Go to ggutfeld.com. Come out, let's go to - coming up, will the first of use get them to the voting booth. A new poll shows Dems think the party needs some new blood. We make fun of them next.

Like Hannibal Lecter after skipping breakfast, the Democrats grave a fresh face. But who does Trump want to see plenty in 2020? I bet he dreams about Biden.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

TRUMP: I dream about Biden, that's a dream. Look, Joe Biden ran three times. He never got more than 1% and President Obama took him out of the garbage heap and everybody was shocked that he did. I'd love to have it be Biden.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Me, too. Just to hear more about the dream. But Dems see it differently. A new poll shows that three out of four of them think it's time for a fresh face to take on Trump in the next election. The fourth Democrat said he wanted this guy. Yes, after all, they do love their aliens.

Seriously, take a look at the last few candidate and Hillary, Bernie, Joe - they got five presidential bids among them and zero wins. So, yes, a fresh face seems to be in order and you don't get much pressure then Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. She is the one who came out of nowhere and beat the incumbent in the New York primary and she's breathed new life into the party. Haven't you, Alex Oh Uhm?

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

ALEXANDRIA, OCASIO-CORTEZ, AMERICAN POLITICIAN: Oh, uhm, I think what I meant is like the settlements that are increasing in some of these areas. I am not the expert on geopolitics on these issues. I do think that right now when we have this no holds barred wild west hyper capitalism. Capitalism has not always existed in the world and it will not always exist in the world.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: She is right. Hyper capitalism won't always exist in the world because it's not capitalistic enough.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Tired of regular old capitalism called private properties and (inaudible) markets, then you will love super turbo hyper capitalism. It's the first system where every worker gets their own startup. It's more goods, more services and more reversed mortgage catheters made of gold.

With super turbo hyper capitalism, we are privatizing everything - breathing, eating, flexing, drinking and even vomiting. You get paid for all of it. And it's full employment all the time. That means, all pets have jobs.

All babies how to frack. Plus, the retirement age is never. And the best part of super turbo hyper capitalism, the stock market only goes up. If it ever even starts to go down, Lou Dobbs has a hot tub party and it goes back up. So get ready for super turbo hyper capitalism, and if you don't agree with us, you probably support ISIS.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: You probably do. All right, Kristina, I go to you because you're a business reporter and a damn good one. You watched these - we're a capitalist country but we have a party that seems to adopting the principles of the losing countries of history, socialism. That can't be good, right, business reporter?

PARTSINEVELOS: I think that right now, there needs to be a revamp of the Dems, which is why you have a 28 -year-old that's become the new face. We've got to give her some credit but I am not going to discount the fact that she needs to know how to answer questions. If she is in the limelight, she is going to run for a big position. She needs to know how to answer. It's not going to affect markets right now. Like you said, we're seeing a lot of green and capitalism that is what makes this country go round. And for all of us to have jobs and have money, so I don't believe in that at all.

GUTFELD: Is that why you left Canada because they are communist?

PARTSINEVELOS: No, Canada is a great place and Medicare for all. See what I did there.

GUTFELD: Yes, I see what you did there, and it was wrong. And this will be the last time you're on this show. Kat.

PARTSINEVELOS: Come on, give me a break.

GUTFELD: Yes, I will. I will. Kat, should Democrats maybe stop expecting Cortez to be such a big deal like the next, I don't know, Obama?

TIMPF: Yes. They should. I think that the Dems are screwed. I think that Trump is going to win. I think they have a choice between a lot of old faces, very old faces and then these new faces that are spewing garbage on them.

I mean, her answer was so bad. She's also said a lot of other really kind of dumb stuff like the reason unemployment is low is because everyone has two jobs, which is you have to give her points for creativity and even thinking that that is how it works, but she's a former bartender. She's only 28 years old. She's not really ready for a position like that. So, fresh faces might help, but fresh faces with more thoughts behind them.

GUTFELD: Okay, I think she's got a lot of potential. I think she has a lot of potential because I could tell. I could tell she's a good person, but also a socialist. Tyrus, what is wrong?

MURDOCH: With me? I'm glad you asked. Are we still talking about Democrats? First of all, who was the candidate that ran for the libertarians? Was it?

GUTFELD: Johnson?

MURDOCH: Johnson.

PARTSINEVELOS: Gary Barr.

MURDOCH: Yes, Gary Barr. When they asked Gary Barr that serious question, he was like - and it was over for Gary Barr, all right.

GUTFELD: Yes. It was. She was like, "Oh, I'm not really an expert," and then she just invented a word, which is kind of the page out of somebody else I know, but he knows how to do it better. She needs to work on that.

TIMPF: What Trump would say is, he would just say, "I'm going to get the best people on that."

MURDOCH: Yes, and it's going to be the greatest thing where she was like hyper capitalism, so yes, I just - he's the thing with the Dems, they just need to have like 700 people run and just have like a Battle Royale wrestling and throw out the guys and it probably would be at the end, Hillary standing with a steel chair with Bernie underneath her. I mean, it's just - I think you said it was it last week? We would probably have the rematch.

GUTFELD: I think we're going to have a rematch.

MURDOCH: Because the new faces aren't smart faces, not quite yet, and the old faces ain't going anywhere. They've got all the money, so I think we're going to have a really fun exciting blood bath on our hands.

GUTFELD: What about you, Buck? What do you see 2020 shaping up to be? What's underneath that massive pile of hair of yours?

SEXTON: It's real by the way. It's real. I promise. I get really mean tweets about it all the time, nothing lives in there, that's all a lie. It's totally real. It's my own.

TIMPF: What is wrong with hair that is not real?

SEXTON: So about the economy. So what I've got here, you have got this progressive socialist party or part of the party rather, and on the one hand you've got the Bernie Sanders wing and they are members of the Soviet revolution like it was yesterday and you've got the Ocasio wing, and they don't know what the Soviet revolution was, so you've got to - you get to sort of pick between what's definitely out of the mainstream, I think for a lot of Americans, but on either side, they're not going to have that centrism. Probably, I think you guys are mostly joking about Hillary, I am not joking. I think.

MURDOCH: No, I'm serious.

SEXTON: I think she's going to toss the rose over the shoulder and she's coming back out swinging and she thinks that she will be the default candidate once again. She's already lost twice, what's a third time? I don't think it's.

GUTFELD: I call it the first sentence of the obituary problem. She doesn't want the first sentence of her obituary to be lost to Trump.

SEXTON: Biden.

MURDOCH: So she wants to say lost to Trump twice?

SEXTON: I mean, by way of - one thing, Biden is not even the guy they're talking about and Trump squashed him like one of those bugs at a picnic that you don't know what it is, but it's just between your fingers, already this week.

GUTFELD: Yes, I love to have the same group of people who hate Trump, are desperately seeking their own Trump. It's like to the Democrats, Trump are the vegetables and they are the baby. They hate the taste, but they know it's good for them. They need to get a Trump, right?

PARTSINEVELOS: It's worked, so why not? So going into it, but it worked for the Republican Party, so why not find that for the Democratic Party.

GUTFELD: Exactly and I believe it's Mark Ruffalo.

MURDOCH: I was just thinking about it. They need to have just a mystery guy. There should be a black box with a question mark on it.

(CROSSTALK)

MURDOCH: And if they happen to win, he would just step out, like boom.

GUTFELD: That's like the dating show that is something.

TIMPF: "The Dating Game."

GUTFELD: Yes. Thank you.

TIMPF: Pretty simple.

GUTFELD: It's like that that movie with the shark. Anyway, still to come, it's like that "Star Wars" movie, what's it called? Who is happier? The right or the left? Get what side we take, next.

ROBERT GRAY, CORRESPONDENT, FOX NEWS: Live from "America's News Headquarters," I'm Robert Gray. The deadly hostage situation at a Los Angeles grocery store is now over. The suspect surrendered and is in police custody. One person died during the ordeal. Now, it all started when the suspect allegedly shot two people, his grandmother and girlfriend. Authorities say the suspect fired his weapon at police during a chase. He crashed his car outside the Trader Joe's and then ran inside. The suspect fired multiple shots at police during the chase, but no officers were injured. People came out of the store with their hands up, but some remained inside. The suspect's girlfriend was injured and transported to the hospital. She is in fair condition. Several shoppers shared details of their ordeal on social media describing a terrifying scene of gunfire and people running for cover.

I'm Robert Gray, now back to "The Greg Gutfeld Show."

GUTFELD: They are sappier, but we are happier. New research from the University of California, wherever that is, shows conservatives believe their lives are more meaningful while their liberal counterparts seem to be searching for meaning.

In other words, conservatives are more this - and libs are more this - is this making sense just to clear up any confusion? It's like if conservatives were like this - and libs are like this - see what the study he is saying is conservatives are satisfied with life. Liberals are more unsatisfied with questions left unanswered.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

HILLARY CLINTON, FORMER SECRETARY OF STATE: Why aren't I 50 points ahead? You might ask.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: That is what the study says, Kat. You are ignored in this study because you are a libertarian. Where are you on the happiness spectrum?

TIMPF: I feel like libertarians would probably think that life is most meaningless of all. Because it's just - it's like a never-ending cycle of vaping and trading Bitcoin and screaming taxation is theft into an empty void, but I think this probably has a lot to do with the fact that liberals are really into being victims. They're like sitting and they're like, "Oh, my life is. I have so many micro aggressions." And if you think about how much you hate your life all the time you're probably going to start to hate your life just like if you think about how you want a taco all the time and just thinking about taco, is you're going to probably want to eat a taco.

PARTSINEVELOS: Are you hungry?

TIMPF: I kind of want a taco.

GUTFELD: So, do I now. A soft taco though not hard taco. Yes, you, too?

PARTSINEVELOS: No, I thought you were going for a dirty joke there.

GUTFELD: Where did we get this person? She is from FBN. Oh, my God. Tyrus?

MURDOCH: I'm so happy right now seeing the weirdness gets turned on you. That's so great. How does it feel to be squirmy in your chair and going, "Man, how do I move on from this?" Welcome to our world, Greg. Your question, sir?

GUTFELD: How do you feel about these findings?

MURDOCH: I mean, obviously, if you watch or skim through and it doesn't really matter how long you watch the liberalist TV show or news program, it's Armageddon. It's horrible. It's miseries in your house and there's a little guy breaking your ankles and making you - I mean, they are all sad. Every one of their TV shows has an evil President doing something to them and it's like, they are just miserable and we're like we won. We're making money and you know, I'm pot lucking at home. It's a good time if you're working hard and paying your bills and stuff. It's a great time and if you are not, then you're miserable and I'm not saying all Democrats don't work, but I'm just saying there's a certain group of them who prefer things done for them and their pretty upset right now.

GUTFELD: Yes, Buck, is happiness linked to having great hair?

SEXTON: It definitely helps.

GUTFELD: Because I think conservatives have better hair.

SEXTON: Well, that is obviously true. Look at who we've got is on TV? There's that. I would say that teaching kids that there are 37 genders and crying yourself to sleep every night about climate change is not the recipe for happiness and people are finding that out over the long term. That is in fact the case here. So, there are no surprises and to the points here we all lived through eight years of the Obama administration. We remember and while we disagree with the policies, there is no equivalent to the video that we played of that person screaming at the sky, no conservative did that. That did not happen. That did not exist. So, the angst that we are seeing now.

GUTFELD: You didn't watch any Fox News?

SEXTON: I am going to plead the fifth right now, Greg.

GUTFELD: Just a couple of hours, not all the hours, but for the first couple of years there was a bit of a.

SEXTON: We tend to be a more chilled out bunch. We like to chill with the libertarians for obvious reasons.

GUTFELD: What you are saying is if politics is personal, then you can't get away from the politics. Conservative politics aren't personal, so if your team loses, you still go out to play with your kids, you go to the bar, you play sports, none of the things I do but my point is this.

PARTSINEVELOS: It just got personal. Then, you wouldn't have a show.

GUTFELD: No, but this is my career. This is what I do for a living, Kristina.

SEXTON: No, but you never had a single Obama administration official chased out of a restaurant and that stuff is just crazy.

GUTFELD: I tried.

SEXTON: I think you.

MURDOCH: Can you imagine Greg coming up to the table telling you to leave? What did you say?

GUTFELD: Kristina, what are your thoughts? Does this ring true in Canada? Do you guys have polls there?

PARTSINEVELOS: We do have polls, and it does not come up as much as it does here. I've been here for only four months and I cannot believe how much I discuss politics, but the study had 50,000 people over 16 countries, but they didn't find that much of a discrepancy between the happiness that a conservative would had versus a liberal. So I'm taking it with a grain of salt.

GUTFELD: All right, well, you know what I find interesting, here is the reason why, there was a book called "The Happiness Curve." They found that the happiest people on the planet are 50-plus or older, so it could be why are conservatives happier? They are older. It's why William DeVane is happy. It ain't the gold, it's the silver in his hair. Sometimes I even impress myself with the turn of phrase. Coming up, Rodman, Kanye, North Korea, that's two dudes I've never met and a place I'll never go, but could they hold the key to world peace? That is next.

Will things go south if west goes east? That was a good lead whoever wrote that. Oh, it's me. This week, Dennis Rodman revealed he is inviting Kanye West with him on his next trip to North Korea. West recently called Rodman one of his biggest inspirations who breaks barriers; said Rodman of Kanye, "I think that he respects me as far as understanding my views. He's doing amazing work around the world so I respect him, too. I'm going to invite him next time I go to North Korea." It's a good idea or a great idea?

If Rodman paved the way for our current President to meet with Kim Jong-un maybe Kanye could become the next celebrity export dispatch to fix world problems. I'd start by sending this man to make peace in the Middle East.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You're sleeping better.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Much better.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And you're looking good.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Feeling good.

UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Feeling good.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I knew you would.

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: Maybe they just need a good night sleep. I don't want that in my medicine cabinet, Tyrus. All right, is it pop culture really the best way for diplomacy because other countries love what we export - music, actors, music, actors.

MURDOCH: He is asking me, isn't he? Every time. Every time Dennis Rodman comes up, you ask me first. I am in no way, shape or form an advocate for Dennis Rodman.

GUTFELD: I am.

TIMPF: I am, too. I had a big crush on him in kindergarten.

GUTFELD: That's because - well, you're from Detroit. You're from Detroit. He is a Piston, in more ways than one. No, because he is energetic. People. This is the dirtiest group of people I've ever been around. What do you think? I almost called you Tucker.

SEXTON: I'm going to tell you something now, I'll just go. A cab driver in DC got so excited to see me this week and he goes, "You from the TV. From the TV. You are Tucker," and I was not. And he made me promise. He goes, "Do you know him?" I said, "Yes." And he goes, "Say hi to him for me." So, hi Tucker from the cab driver in DC, whose name I forget, but.

GUTFELD: That's an American story.

SEXTON: It is and it's - I am telling a true story, but I would say that Dennis Rodman's last trip if I recall, did not go so well. Wasn't he on TV a few weeks ago crying about all the death threats and everything, so is he going for punishment? People got upset of him. When you're Dennis Rodman and you're getting involved in nuclear diplomacy, people get a little worried.

GUTFELD: But I have to say, that - I thought that that was most sincere person I've ever seen in my life when he was crying up there and I thought that he actually proved me wrong because I called him a useful idiot when, in fact, Kristina, I'm a useless idiot. I didn't help with North Korea, Rodman did.

PARTSINEVELOS: You don't want to go to North Korea and Rodman, let's see, he did "The Apprentice." Didn't do well with that. He tried reality TV, he was in wrestling, I did not know that.

MURDOCH: Hey, hey, hey.

PARTSINEVELOS: He worked on the lingerie.

MURDOCH: You're a cute lady and you shouldn't be talking about wrestling.

PARTSINEVELOS: Wrestling show, but it was women. It was women who are wrestling and he was.

MURDOCH: Oh, what is wrong with that?

PARTSINEVELOS: I'm not saying anything, but the list goes on. He's trying to get in the limelight. Let's go after Kanye now because Kaney has come out with a few comments like questioning slavery. Please, let's not forget that. So, no, I think it's a bad idea.

MURDOCH: In the black community, when we sense danger, we usually bring somebody with us to make the exchange when things go down.

PARTSINEVELOS: He would take Kanye, why not Jay-Z?

MURDOCH: Because if Kanye because annoying, more annoying than Dennis, "Hey, bro, I'm going to be right back. You guys talk. I'll be right back," and then he'll handle that. It could be a top secret exchange.
Maybe Kim Jong-un's sister is coming here and we traded Kanye and Rodman in the first round pick for Kim Jong-un's sister since as you remember, everybody loved her. She did not say two the words at the Olympics, but we loved her.

GUTFELD: The thing is, everybody gets famous people speaking as a famous celebrity. People just innately trust me. They just trust me and I get so many offers to babysit, which is disgusting because I don't want to sit on a baby.

TIMPF: Really? People offer - people want you to babysit their children?

GUTFELD: Yes.

MURDOCH: How does that e-mail even start?

TIMPF: I don't know. Yes.

MURDOCH: Hi, Greg, love the show, could you watch my kid?

GUTFELD: Yes.

TIMPF: I just think that.

GUTFELD: Because I am trustworthy.

TIMPF: If Kanye actually went and did this, this people would get so mad at Kanye which is why I think Kanye would absolutely want to do it because he likes to do things to rock the boat and if you're looking to rock the boat, you can't get much more like rock boat-ier than like hanging out with the dictator. So, that's kind of the way to do it. I would love to be like a fly on the wall during this meeting which is weird because I don't even really want to be a fly.

GUTFELD: It's true. I don't know why anybody - everyone says I want to be a fly on the wall, well, you're probably going to get swatted and die.

TIMPF: You're going to die, so fast.

GUTFELD: Yes, people are stupid. They don't think ahead.

TIMPF: No.

GUTFELD: Anyway, more still to come, the people that create killer robots sign a pledge to not create killer robots. How nice of them. We are screwed.

They are the exterminators of the terminators. More than 2,000 scientists and tech leaders including Elon Musk signed a pledge to stop the development of lethal autonomous weapons, AKA killer robots. It sounds nice, but let me give you a quick list of problems here.

First, they are too late. We already have killer robots, they are called drones. That genie is not going back into the bottle. If you are not making them, someone else will. Second, give me a break, Elon Musk, you create driverless cars - those things can be killer weapons when they screw up. Third, only 2,000 people signed this pledge. You know who did not sign the pledge? The other seven billion people on the planet. So, 7 billion non- hippies are free to keep making autonomous weapons. The country that masters new weapons first gets to run the earth, just like nukes, so it better be us or we're screwed. Sleep tight, everyone. FY, here is the truly scariest robot.

(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)

CLINTON: Now, having said all of this, why aren't I 50 points ahead you might ask?

(END VIDEO CLIP)

GUTFELD: I know. Kristina, I never can trust what other countries are going to do behind our backs, so we up to be the first people to make weapons like what if Canada suddenly decides to make its anonymous killer robots?

PARTSINEVELOS: I don't even know what to that. Maybe Justin Trudeau, we'll give Bieber.

GUTFELD: He's an autonomous killer robot.

PARTSINEVELOS: Yes, definitely.

GUTFELD: And so is Justin Bieber.

PARTSINEVELOS: Yes.

GUTFELD: Why are there so many just Justin's from Canada?

PARTSINEVELOS: Good looking ones, too, right?

GUTFELD: I wouldn't know. I don't see good looks.

PARTSINEVELOS: And Ryan's, too. Ryan Gosling and Ryan.

GUTFELD: Way to avoid the question.

PARTSINEVELOS: Yes, I know. If I were to go, I'd rather be killed by a killer robot than let's say being hit by a bus or something, that's the way to go.

GUTFELD: I kind of agree.

PARTSINEVELOS: That's the story. That's the obituary that I want, killed by a running robot.

GUTFELD: Exactly. Exactly. Buck, I think it's unfair to kill them killer robots, I would call them peace machines.

SEXTON: Absolutely. This whole signing this thing, they must have run out of tofurkey in the Google cafeteria or something and a bunch of beta males all got together and like, "How do we show the world how much we really matter, man." You know, have you heard of virtue signaling, this is like the ultimate nerd signaling. They are basically saying, "I mean, we could take over the world and kill all of you, and we're not going to do that." Which is not a thing that they could really do, I think.

GUTFELD: Yes, I think you're right. Tyrus, robots do not have the human flaws of distraction and exhaustion, which makes him able to make better this decisions when they're driving or when they are killing. They will save people's lives. That is beautiful.

MURDOCH: Right. Here is the arrogance of this what do we call it? A peace treaty.

GUTFELD: Yes.

GUTFELD: Nerds save us thing. They all get Melvins, but what kills me is robots do no not - artificial intelligence in general already think faster than we do. They think differently than we do. They don't think like we do. They're not emotional. Humans is the word, so if you say don't kill humans in the program and let's say Tyrus gets on the computer and says kill humans, anything look like me, they are going to do that without discretion. It's not going to be a movie where they're like, "Hey, robot, don't. Talk them down." There's not going to be any of that. Like it's a program and if it's your ass in the program, it's your ass. There's no human error and emotion in artificial intelligence or this and that. They're writing that pledge, it means absolutely nothing. It's whatever - who depends. If they get hacked in and they change it, then it's a wrap.

GUTFELD: Yes, I that think there's people that work with drones, Kat. There is still human involvement. I think this is a good thing.

TIMPF: I think it's a great thing. I think that if they really cared about our safety they would be trying to come up with the killer-ist killer robot ever and make them extra murderous and waterproof, as well. What are you going to do though? If China has all of these killer robots, then they run the entire world, Greg. I think you're absolutely right about this because then we can't just like fight other countries' killer robots with our regular human murderers.

GUTFELD: Exactly. We lose.

TIMPF: That's not going to work.

GUTFELD: We lose.

TIMPF: Human murderers versus robot murderer. Human murderers get tired.

GUTFELD: Yes, they do. They do get tired. Robots don't get tired.

MURDOCH: But they run out of batteries though.

GUTFELD: Yes, well, you know what? We don't need - look the pope.

MURDOCH: This is why they made them sign this. This is the same argument the two nerds had and came.

TIMPF: Solar charging waterproof robots.

MURDOCH: What if we did this and then they started Dungeons & Dragons and they're grown-ups and they said look, everyone sign a letter saying they're not going to make killer robots. Everybody stop doing that. That is what happened.

GUTFELD: Five hundred years ago, the pope tried to ban the crossbow, didn't work out. That's the only stupid fact I have on this. I guess I should get out now. Don't go anywhere, Final thoughts next.

Hey, we're out of time. Thanks to Tucker Carlson, Kristina Partsinevelos, Kat Timpf, Tyrus. Studio audience. I'm Greg Gutfeld. I love you, America.

END

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