Co-hosts of 'The Five' share their Valentine's Day plans
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This is a rush transcript from "The Five," February 14, 2019. This copy may not be in its final form and may be updated.
DANA PERINO, HOST: Hello, everyone. I'm Dana Perino along with Jedediah Bila, Juan Williams, Jesse Watters, and Greg Gutfeld.
GREG GUTFELD, HOST: Hello. Hi.
PERINO: It's 5 o'clock in New York City, and this is “The Five.”
GUTFELD: Hello.
PERINO: This is a Fox News Alert. Major developing out of Washington, President Trump said he will declare a national emergency in order to build his border wall. You're looking live at the Senate floor where lawmakers just passed a budget bill to avoid another partial government shutdown. It now heads to the House. The president says he will sign the bill and will then declare the national emergency.
The White House describing the plan saying, quote, "President Trump will sign the government funding bill and, as he has stated before. He will also take other executive action, including a national emergency to ensure we stop the national security and humanitarian crisis at the border. The president is once again delivering on his promise to build the wall, protect the border, and secure our great country."
This move, obviously, comes with a lot of pushback from Democrats and could set up a major legal showdown. Here's Chuck Schumer and Nancy Pelosi.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
SEN. CHUCK SCHUMER, D-N.Y., SENATE MINORITY LEADER: If President Trump decides to go forward with a disastrous declaration, he'll be making a tremendous mistake.
REP. NANCY PELOSI, D-CALIF., SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: Did I say it's finally a legal challenge? I may, that's an option, and we'll review our options. But it's important to note that when the president declares this emergency, first of all, it's not an emergency what's happening at the border. Humanitarian challenged to us. The president making an end run around Congress. Here he said, let us respect what the committee will do, and then walks away from it.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: Well, Jesse, I know you pay attention to what I say, right?
JESSE WATTERS, HOST: What's that?
(LAUGHTER)
PERINO: Remember the last day that when he -- the shutdown ended and he said they're going to do this compromise bill. I said at the end of it, he's still going to declare a national emergency.
WATTERS: And remember what I've said, I also said I don't know if we're ever going to get money for the wall. And if you look at this, there's no money for the wall. This thing is packed with so many poison pills and landmines.
PERINO: There's a lot.
WATTERS: If you just look at just one right here, it prohibits construction in the Rio Grande Valley on federal land. The entire Rio Grande Valley is like federal land you can't build a wall on, and it says what type of wall you can't build, what you can build.
And the worst part, you have to consult with local elected officials in the area before they sign off on a wall. So Beto gets, you know, a say on whether the wall gets built. It's total garbage. I don't know how these Republican negotiators got smoked, but they got smoked hard.
It's clear that the Democrats are never going to give them the wall. But you didn't think the Republicans were going to go along with this. How could they allow so many poison bills in this negotiation? It's atrocious.
Fox News polling says 66 percent of the American people want a budget deal with border wall funding. Yet, there's no border wall funding in this bill. So he's been sabotaged. He has to declare a national emergency. I don't like the idea of a national emergency. But, Juan, U.S. Code 2808 and U.S. Code 284 gives him that authority.
JUAN WILLIAMS, HOST: You know --
PERINO: I love it that you printed them out.
WATTERS: -- because you flip-flop from day-to-day to try to make excuses for Trump. Yesterday, you said this is not a bad deal, 55 miles --
WATTERS: Until I read what was in it.
WILLIAMS: No, no, no --
WATTERS: And that's the thing, Juan. They put this out at 1 AM last night, no one has read this bill. No one has read the bill. It's like Obamacare.
WILLIAMS: What you said yesterday is not true, Jesse?
WATTERS: No.
WILLIAMS: It's not 55 miles?
WATTERS: No. I changed because I read the bill. That's what happens when you read, Juan, you change your opinion.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, and you scream. Let me just say, this to me is an outrage. I mean, this is like a tyrant who says I'm going to go around the Congress, forget democracy. I'm going to do what I want and I want to please the far right-wingers on talk radio who apparently have all the power and have his ear because, guess what, he had a deal in December and he said no to it, even though it was bipartisan, endorsed by Mitch McConnell.
He now has a deal today passed by majority of Republicans, endorsed by Mitch McConnell. He goes around the Congress, he goes around Republicans, and sets his own agenda in line with people who are in his ear from the talk radio show crowd.
The fact is, by the way, CBS poll, 66 percent of Americans say no to a national emergency for this wall. In Fox -- Fox polling, 56 percent. Fox has 50 percent opposed, right now, opposed to any wall construction. Two- thirds support the deal that was on the table that includes some money for additional border security, not for a wall.
WATTERS: It says it right here in the poll, Juan.
WILLIAMS: That's what I'm telling you.
WATTERS: Walls and barriers.
WILLIAMS: So what you get here is 60 percent of Democrats, 73 percent of Republicans --
GUTFELD: Let him keep talking.
WATTERS: Let him keep talking.
PERINO: Greg, I was going to ask you about -- the president now going into 2020.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: Now he can run against conservatives, the Republicans in Congress, and the Democrats on border security because he'll say that they didn't give what the people wanted.
GUTFELD: Yeah. Look, let's dismiss this idea that declaring a national emergency is a big deal. We do it all the time. In fact, calling it a national emergency is a bit overstating it, and I think we have a bunch of them currently going on right now.
WATTERS: Thirty.
GUTFELD: Yeah, like 30. It's not a big deal. The craziest item, the poison pill that is truly poisonous in this and this is why he shouldn't sign it is -- according to the fine print, you can't remove any potential sponsor or member of a household who might be a potential sponsor, meaning that's amnesty for anybody who might be a cartel smuggler.
WATTERS: Anybody who brings a minor --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: If there's a kid right there, he can just grab the -- he turns every unaccompanied minor into a very expensive shield. This is why you should hate government with every fiber of your being. This was a 1200 page bill designed to chain yanked the president. So you have these months where you could have listened to experts. You could have actually gone and met and listen -- yeah, Juan, keep popping your head like that.
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: No. The Democrats ignored the advice of the experts. Instead, they created a bill just to yank him. That's why he should declare the national emergency.
(CROSSTALK)
WILLIAMS: Republicans and Democrats who voted to pass this bill --
GUTFELD: Which is a mistake.
WILLIAMS: -- and if you recall, Donald Trump said -- I have here a tweet, November 2014, Obama subverting the constitution because he's unable --
GUTFELD: So you're OK -- you're OK with this idea that you can't remove any potential sponsor, you're OK with that?
WILLIAMS: What does that have to do with --
GUTFELD: You didn't read the bill, did you, Juan?
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: Juan didn't read it.
WILLIAMS: I've read it --
GUTFELD: Juan, you're a prison of your own mind. You're a prisoner of your own mind.
WILLIAMS: In other words, you don't even support what Republicans do. You only support what Trump --
GUTFELD: No, no, I think for myself. You should try it.
WILLIAMS: You should --
(CROSSTALK)
JEDEDIAH BILA, HOST: What he's talking about, though, this thing about the sponsors is the main point. That's going to incentivize the child trafficking which is part of the humanitarian crisis that Trump and Republicans are claiming that they want to solve. So, I mean -- look, it's a bad deal.
Just because Republican support something doesn't mean it's a good deal. This is a bad -- I don't see how he signed onto this, though. Even if he declares a national emergency and then he's acknowledging that, yes, there is a humanitarian crisis at the border, this is a big deal. We do need more money. I am going to move federal money around in order to solve it.
By signing this, he's saying that he's OK with all of this stuff. And OK with something that allows for -- and foments child trafficking that prohibits, you know, fencing in certain areas that prohibit certain types of fencing that he's been out there saying the fencing structures that we have now don't work.
This is saying, well, yeah, the prototypes that you like, we're not going to go for these. So I don't understand how he does this and has himself on record --
PERINO: So the bill got worse after the shutdown.
WATTERS: Let's go --
BILA: Yeah, it did, much worse.
WATTERS: -- if you're a cartel member, you're human trafficker, and you bring a child across the border, this legislation says they can't deport you.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: They give amnesty to cartel members and human traffickers in this bill. Or if you're thinking about sponsoring a minor, or if you know a minor in the United States that you'd like to sponsor.
BILA: Basically anyone.
WATTERS: It's pretty much anybody that has any relationship with an unaccompanied minor gets a pass under this bill. Juan, even you can agree with that.
WILLIAMS: Let me just say this, chicken little has good hair at least today on this show because you are like the sky is falling over --
(CROSSTALK)
WATTERS: I didn't hear what you said after you complimented my hair.
WILLIAMS: The reason that President Trump cite for this is, oh, in this bill I can't move around the funds that I want. Because, remember, he was saying, well, I want to move additional funds in order to supplement the limited money coming for -- what yesterday Jesse praised is the 55 miles given to him by Democrats.
WATTERS: Before I've read it.
WILLIAMS: But now he's saying, oh, that -- it's about children or it's about --
BILA: He's been saying it's about children for a long time.
WILLIAMS: -- or it's about, there's a caravan of invaders.
GUTFELD: Yeah, remember --
WILLIAMS: This guy just lies and their people who --
GUTFELD: Do kids die, Juan? I guess that wasn't a problem.
WILLIAMS: Oh, get out of here.
GUTFELD: It's true.
BILA: As far as the national emergency too, interesting, they're already shifting the language, folks, on the left. Kris tweeting out, I mean, climate change really is a national emergency. So now what you're going to have is every left-wing activist is going to come forward and say, well, if he's going to use this for national emergency, I'm going to use that, even though we have existing national emergencies. The fact that Trump makes this contentious issue a national emergency --
GUTFELD: I'm declaring that Juan is a national emergency.
WILLIAMS: Here's what I'm declaring to you, not one of all these 30 previous national emergencies allowed a president to spend unauthorized dollars, which is what Trump --
(CROSSTALK)
PERINO: It might end up in court and we've got to go. Coming up, former top FBI official Andrew McCabe making bombshell claims about the president, including a plan to remove him from office.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WILLIAMS: A bombshell interview from former acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe. It's sending shock waves throughout Washington. McCabe telling 60 Minutes he started the bureau's investigation into President Trump.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
ANDREW MCCABE, FORMER ACTING FBI DIRECTOR: I was speaking to the man who had just run for the presidency and won the election for the presidency, and who might have done so with the aid of the government of Russia our most formidable adversary on the world stage and that was something that troubled me greatly.
I was very concerned that I was able to put the Russian case on absolutely solid ground in an indelible fashion that were I removed quickly or reassigned or fired that the case could not be closed.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: And that's not all, McCabe also saying that the Justice Department held discussions about removing the president from office.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: There were meetings at the Justice Department in which it was discussed whether the vice president and a majority of the cabinet could be brought together to remove the President of the United States under the 25th amendment. They were speculating this person would be with us, that person would not be, and they were counting noses in that effort. It was also said at a previous time that the Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein offered to wear a wire.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: President Trump is firing back by tweeting, and here I'm quoting, disgraced FBI Acting Director Andrew McCabe pretends to be a poor little angel. When, in fact, he was a big part of the crooked Hillary Clinton scandal and the Russia hoax, a puppet for leaking James Comey. I.G. report on McCabe was devastating. Part of insurance policy in case I won. Jedediah, normally I'd have a question but there's so much here. I'm just going to say, Jedediah, what do you think? What's going on here?
BILA: Remember, McCabe was fired for lying, that's number one. So we don't know how much of what he's saying is true. And the DOJ already bit back and said, yeah, guess what, all the stuff that he's saying about the 25th amendment and invoking it, yet none of this is true.
I'm just curious as to what was the motivation for all of this investigation into President Trump. He's talking about, you know, let's take him at his word, and they discussed the removal of President Trump by the 25th amendment. Based on what? What did he do to invoke that conversation? What exactly can they tell me that President Trump is guilty of to bring that conversation about?
Also, an obstruction of justice charge, what did he do to generate that? You're talking about the firing of James Comey? That's the only factor? Guess what, Democrats were calling for James Comey to be fired because of how he handled the Hillary Clinton investigation and how he came out and made those comments at an inappropriate time.
So I want to know, was it the Steele dossier? Was that your motivating factor? What was it? What were you guys looking for and so hungry to get this president on? Because when you look at this and what he laid out and you look at the DOJ's response, this does sound like the very witch hunt that a lot of people were saying. This is a witch hunt. This is a witch hunt. This is the definition. They were hunting him down. They wanted something on him and they were going to figure out how to find it.
WILLIAMS: But, Jesse, contrary to the deep state thought whether this was some kind of cool being done by people inside the government, it's all being done openly, right? I mean, he's going to people in the Justice Department. He says he's checking with FBI lawyers. And he says that he feared that Trump was trying to enlist him into what he calls in the book a sinister message to the FBI agent not to investigate him or the Russians.
WATTERS: Well, yeah, if you want to call it a coup, I would agree with you, Juan. It was a pretty open coup if you look at how many people were involved. Dana, I have been talking about the deep state for almost a year and a half, and I think this is evidence.
PERINO: Deep state.
WATTERS: The deep state is real. I mean, he is a card carrying member. If you're going to say, you're an unelected official and you're plotting behind the scenes to organize an administrative coup of the President of the United States who's been Democratically elected, that's scary stuff.
WILLIAMS: But, Jesse -- can I interrupt for a second.
WATTERS: Yes, please.
WILLIAMS: What if you thought to yourself, my God, the Russians may have a puppet in the Oval Office and the FBI is here. And by the way, most FBI guys --
PERINO: You can't just think that and start an investigation. You have to have a reason.
(CROSSTALK) WILLIAMS: And the reason was he had not only an investigation started about contacts between the Russians and the campaign, but, secondly, Comey have been fired and told layoff of Flynn.
WATTERS: OK. What were the contacts, Juan? Papadopoulos never spoke to a Russian his entire life. When he was over in Europe, never talked to a Russian. You know who he did talk to? A spy hired by the Obama administration.
WILLIAMS: Oh, my gosh.
WATTERS: They use Russian propaganda to listen to an Americans phone calls. They've unmasked people. They leaked president's phone calls with foreign leaders. It's pretty scary stuff, Juan. And if President Trump did this to a Democrat when they were about to come into the Oval Office during the election, it would have been lights-out.
He would have been frog marched out of there. But all of a sudden, you know, you've got people resigning, you've got people being fired and demoted. And, you know, some are still lying and having book deals and stuff like that. But it doesn't look good and I'm scared. This is why I'm not running for president.
WILLIAMS: Is that right? I was going to run the campaign for you.
PERINO: I have a very short comment to make --
WILLIAMS: But I just want to ask you a question, Dana, first --
PERINO: I have a point.
WILLIAMS: -- because -- I want you to make your point, but I'm just going to say, Jesse went on about deep state and here you have McCabe saying under the 25th amendment, which is in the constitution --
PERINO: Yeah.
WILLIAMS: -- I was -- I'd gone to the Justice Department officials, went to Rosenstein, even said, you know, the cabinet members and the vice president would've had to be engaged in the removal of the president.
PERINO: OK. Well, may be Scott Pelley, we'll ask him more about that because they.ve just released that one little clip on 60 Minutes. I haven't read his book. I don't know anything about all of that. But I do want to make a point, Jedediah said, remember he was fired for lying, but the other thing is Rod Rosenstein, when he appoints a special counsel, part of, I think, the reason that he did that is because he knew that there was bias by McCabe against the president.
And so, if he had not appointed Mueller, it still would have been under McCabe. And so, in some ways, I feel like maybe that also was at play here because Rosenstein says in the book that McCabe writes, I had no one that I can trust around here. That was -- he said that in a room where he was just with McCabe. I'm assuming there's not a lot of trust between the two of them.
WILLIAMS: I would assume so. Greg, deep state?
GUTFELD: You know what? It's a good question. I used to smirk when I would hear people talk about it. I'm not going to smirk anymore because this is actually evidence of deep state. You may think -- you may think, oh, that's silly, but actually if you look at it, it kind of is. The other thing too, it's like, why is it always bombshell information shows up at the same time a book is coming out.
It's kind of amazing and how the narrative always matches with the media was saying. They're almost identical. So here's why it's so easy to understand why unelected officials unilaterally went after the president and an open coup. It's easy to understand. President Trump was the man who fell to earth. He was the creature, the alien creature that punctured their special world. He wasn't a civil servant.
And so, these unelected officials said this is not your normal president. This can't be. It has to be a plan. After probably months and months of watching the Americans on F.X., they were convinced -- convinced that it wasn't the will of the American people to vote for this guy. It had to be a Manchurian candidate.
It had to be the Russians, so they decided. They felt that they were the ones that were going to step in and usurp the American people. That's what happens. They believe -- they couldn't buy it that this guy who wasn't a civil servant, wasn't a normal politician, could become president. They just couldn't admit it to themselves, so that's what they did. And you know what --
WILLIAMS: Protecting the country, you don't think?
GUTFELD: I think that -- you know what? They were trapped in their own movie, their own irrational episode of the Americans. They believed what they were doing and they had no evidence because no president has been more critical in his actions of Russia, what he's doing to Iran, sanctions, the diplomats. What he just did when he enlisted -- created the list of oligarchs that were close to Putin. Why did he do that? To help him? No.
WILLIAMS: No. I wonder why he's having private conversations with Putin.
GUTFELD: Well, he has private conversations with a lot of people, Juan.
WILLIAMS: Yeah, right. Ok, guys, all right. Coming up.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Do you walk in the door with weapon. If we can find you, you're not going to last very long.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
WILLIAMS: How one Florida principal is protecting his school. Gregory with that next, right here on The Five.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
GUTFELD: A Florida school has hired two combat vets to protect students and staff from active shooters. According to Principal Bill Jones, any intruder entering the Manatee School for the Arts campus would be shot and killed.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
BILL JONES, MANATEE SCHOOL FOR THE ARTS PRINCIPAL: If someone walks in shooting -- somebody walks in with a weapon threatening kids, we're not going to fool around. We're not going to pause. We're not going to ask them questions. We're going to shoot them. Eliminate the threat, you know. If they die in the process, that's unfortunate but better them than one of our students, quite frankly.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
GUTFELD: We're not going to talk with them. We're not going to negotiate. We are going to put them down as quickly as possible. Well, that is a plan. Compare that to the wishy wash of the Broward sheriff who is so anxious to blame the NRA that he forgot to look in the mirror at himself.
Manatee is a charter school operating under their own authority, so they can decide who to hire. They went with armed combat vets. One guard is a 15 year army vet who served three tours. So the school is protected by the best defenders on earth, and those vets have jobs that contribute to the safety of society.
After Parkland, all Florida schools were mandated to have armed security. It's a year to the day since that massacre. Here's a fact, the duration of a mass shooting is shortened by the arrival of a second gun. Manatee shrunk the duration to zero. The school has 2100 students, I'm sure some parents there are spooked by having armed guards with riffles, but others might be resting easier.
And it's often hard to ponder solutions with a media placing the issue within a prison of two ideas. If you aren't for gun control, you want kids to die. This as their wall-to-wall coverage creates a spectacle for copycats who want to leave a mark on the world. It is sobering that in this peaceful age, we need soldiers at schools, but if it works, then I say give it a try.
So, Dana, shooters overwhelmingly focus on locations where there are no perceived protections. I think the theater shooter actually drove by his intended target --
(CROSSTALK)
GUTFELD: Yeah, because there was a cop car there. So he's got it right.
PERINO: I think so. And it's kind of hard to believe that it has been a year since Parkland. The students there have had a tremendous impact on getting their messages out. And Congress is going to try - Congress move slowly and I think that these school districts cannot wait for Washington to try to help solve their problems. They have to figure out a way to figure it out for their district because the grade for these parents has come in waves. And no doubt buckles them, buckles their knees. They are dealing with things that we sort of - we move on and we talk about other things. This constantly in the forefront of their mind. So, if a superintendent of schools or a principal can give comfort to parents that they don't have to worry that there is going to be anything wishy washy.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: There is a plan. I would rather have that done at the local level than at the national level. I think it's a lot more effective.
GUTFELD: Yes. Jesse, the thing is when he does this, he gets the word out, he is basically - no, if you're going to plan that on that school, you're not going to go to that school.
WATTERS: I liked how unapologetic he was.
GUTFELD: Yes.
WATTERS: We'll put you down. Everything we value in this country, we protect with guns whether it's banks, whether it's companies, whether it's our borders, celebrities, everything we protect, there is an armed guard outside, but not children. It doesn't make sense.
The point is, you're not handing over a loaded gun to like some second- grade teacher who is 73 years old and you say, Hey, Rambo like you know. hold the line. These are well-trained professionals that go through training and know what they're doing and know how to handle firearms.
The other thing is you're not militarizing schools. You have people armed with weapons outside the Super Bowl. You're not militarizing the Super Bowl.
PERINO: Point.
WATTERS: Eliminating the NRA isn't going to stop school shootings. Banning an AR15 isn't going to stop school shootings. You can spend all the money in the world, you're not going to stop it. The only thing you're going to do is you have to neutralize it before they shoot more people and the only way to do it is to have an armed guy with proximity to the shooter.
GUTFELD: Juan, I think it's a great match returning vets and a job like this. There is 2100 students. That's more than employees at a mall that has armed security. So, it makes sense to me. Does it make sense to you?
WILLIAMS: I just worry about the idea that you're putting guns next to kids and I think who gets picked on as kids and kids that - but today, I just wanted to say, I just feel for parents who've lost a child. I just think it's important that we say you know what, you can't imagine the pain in our heart that comes through that.
There was a letter written by Laurie Alstoff (ph) to her daughter Alicia (ph) who was killed, and I was reading, I just like you know it's Valentine's Day and that's her memory. Is that her daughter went to school today and was killed? So, for me when I see people say, Oh! You know like Donald Trump put out a statement today and initially said, hey, we've got to do something about gun violence, then he had to change it to school violence. It's like you have to just play politics in order to ignore the reality. We've got too many guns in this country.
BILA: I mean I love the reps from this school. They're totally unapologetic. They're proactive and one of the things they said to summarize was, we're not looking for a fair fight. We're looking for a huge advantage. And that's the truth.
PERINO: I love that.
BILA: That is absolutely true. And I think people who are a little unsure about things like arming teachers for example where they get a little concerned about that should find comfort in combat vets. These are the people who have the proper training with firearms and who have the proper training for situations like this. They're not going to flee the scene, they're not going to make the kinds of mistakes in those spontaneous moments that somebody else who hasn't been there might do. So, this I think is a middle ground where people should feel comfortable.
GUTFELD: All right. Well, terror in the skies. Yes, terror after Delta flight nosedives twice at 30,000 feet. See you next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: It's every passenger's worst nightmare and it's caught on video. Extreme turbulence giving Delta passengers the scare of a lifetime yesterday. Their Seattle to Santa Ana, California flight nosediving twice at 34,000 feet creating panic and a huge mess in the cabin. Five passengers were reportedly injured, with three sent to the hospital. Thankfully, the plane made an emergency landing in Nevada. Here's the passenger who shot the video.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: The plane was dropping, and it was dropping nose first. We were out of our chairs. We're flailing in the air. I actually thought that the plane might break up.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
PERINO: All right. So, these are the types of stories that leave me Greg on the edge of my seat. I feel like—
GUTFELD: I'm on the edge of it all the time.
PERINO: Everyone has a little bit of plane phobia and when you hear--
GUTFELD: All right.
PERINO: Yes, go ahead.
GUTFELD: That tape--
PERINO: Just interrupt me and carry on.
GUTFELD: That tape was not what I expected. I was expecting nosedives and I didn't get nosedives.
WILLIAMS: A double nosedive.
GUTFELD: OK. So, why is this news - I've got some thoughts on this. Because it's rare and traffic accidents what there is like 30,000 people die a year. We don't report them, because they're common, but anytime something happens in a plane, we report it because it's so damn safe. This is going to happen to the automobile industry once we have self-driving cars.
In 30 years, right. If somebody dies in a self-driving car, it'll be on the front pages until then we're going to have 30,000 people dying. Now the other thing that I have broken up in no time. Why is it that our computers keep getting faster, there is like Moore's Law, it doubles like every two years or three years or whatever, but our planes don't get any faster. In fact, the airline industry gets worse. It's the only industry in my mind that's going backwards and not forwards. Why can't we have - we got rid of the Concorde.
WILLIAMS: People say the news industry is going backwards.
GUTFELD: That's good for us, because--
WILLIAMS: We're going forward.
GUTFELD: Because I can rise to the top if I'm going backwards.
BILA: I think it also gets coverage like that because when you get on an airplane, you are suspended in midair, which makes people more - I mean when you get into a car .
GUTFELD: Oh! You believe that BILA: You get into a car, you're on the road, you don't automatically get in your head thinking the worst that could happen, but on an airplane, I sure do. I don't know about you. WILLIAMS: Well, because you're so vulnerable, you're off the ground. BILA: Right.
WILLIAMS: You're not in control unless you're the pilot. And even the pilot when you hit turbulence is not in control. So, they tell you to wear your seatbelt. But I got to tell you that one of the scariest things in my life, I was on doing a campaign. I think it was a Jesse Jackson campaign. And he didn't have much money.
GUTFELD: That's scary enough.
WILLIAMS: Older plane propellers and we're over Dallas or someplace middle of the night. Man, the turbulence hits and you should see like you know they get these big texts and they're all in the back hanging out. They start hitting the ceiling screaming, crying. The stewardesses ran to the front. They are afraid themselves. It was like time to go home.
PERINO: Did you panic?
WILLIAMS: I'm like you know what my day is coming, it's written.
PERINO: Yes.
GUTFELD: It happens a lot on the show.
WILLIAMS: I'm telling you.
PERINO: The one plus to this story actually that was surprising was that everyone was saying that Delta did a great job. There has been so many bad news reports of airline stories and they're saying Delta handled it great, all the tweets, all the comments. So, I don't know--
WATTERS: That's why I'm a Sky Miles member.
PERINO: But no, is that something like if this happens to you, is there something--
WATTERS: Yes, United would have booted it, they would have known what they were doing. You know when I was on Air Force One, we didn't have turbulence. I think they have mechanisms that can kind of alleviate, the way to work that into the story.
PERINO: Turbulence on Air Force One.
WATTERS: Yes, I mean I don't know was that that bad of a nosedive. I saw the drink cart went over like that. Maybe someone spill some coffee.
PERINO: No, it was pretty bad. Three people went to the hospital.
WATTERS: Really?
BILA: Three people went to the hospital.
PERINO: Yes.
WATTERS: For physical problems or mental languish?
BILA: And if you look at the aisles, everything is kind of turned--
WATTERS: The aisles were messy. The aisles are messy usually when I fly. So, no, I'm kidding. I don't want to downplay, it looks serious. It happened to me one time and I texted my mom and I'd said, I love you. I thought I was going to die.
GUTFELD: And then she just wrote back.
PERINO: And she wrote back.
WATTERS: You misspelled love. BILA: I'm just wondering if this were to happen Dana, if there is anything that - if I were on that plane, if there's anything that people who were operating or could do to make me feel better, I feel like in that moment, you're just--
PERINO: Well, you know what my husband always tells me because he's a very confident flyer. He's traveled for millions of miles all around the world for business he says. The guys at the front end of the plane want to get home just as badly as you do.
BILA: It's true.
PERINO: So, there is that. I also think that when the airline calls for a flight delay. GUTFELD: You happy.
PERINO: Just trust them.
GUTFELD: Yes.
PERINO: They don't make any extra money.
GUTFELD: People want to get there on time and die.
PERINO: Just accept it and you know it's true. Wear your seatbelt when you're sitting in your seat and don't like to get up and hang out in the area.
BILA: Yes. You'll be the first person to get mad at a delay in the airport.
GUTFELD: No. I do not like - if there is any kind of a hint that there might be inclement weather. I'm at the bar.
WATTERS: You're so drunk you don't remember delay.
GUTFELD: I am like I don't care because I'm always happy about that.
WILLIAMS: By the way airlines are safer now than ever.
GUTFELD: Yes, they are.
PERINO: That's true. That's why this is news. Yes.
BILA: Well, don't go anywhere.
WATTERS: Good job.
BILA: Because Valentine's Day treat, that's coming up for you next.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WATTERS: Welcome back. Time for Valentine's Day celebration. Apparently, men care a lot more about Valentine's Day than women. And there is data to back it up. New study shows more than half of men admit they expect their partner to make a maximum effort to get them Valentine's Day gift this year, compared to just 36 percent of women. And the new survey finds men plan to spend an average of $339 on their significant other.
PERINO: What?
WATTERS: While women will only dish out a measly $64. Dana, I'm already up to $280 and I haven't even gone out to dinner yet.
PERINO: Well, are you going to McDonald's? They've got good fries. But truthfully--
WATTERS: Super-size.
PERINO: You can like get extra fries and then give some more to her.
WATTERS: Yes. I'll get a toy too.
PERINO: A little generous. I'm surprised by this. Peter and I don't do a lot on Valentine's Day.
WATTERS: No?
PERINO: I did something nice this year.
WATTERS: What did you do?
PERINO: So, this year was our 20-year anniversary and back in September, I wrote 20 things about 20 years and I framed it for him.
WATTERS: That is very thoughtful. Maybe I'll do that next year.
GUTFELD: So, guys spend a lot more money and care more about it than women, so it's win-win for gay dudes. Right?
WATTERS: What do you mean by that?
GUTFELD: It's win-win.
WATTERS: They get the most stuff.
GUTFELD: They get the most. OK. Valentine's Day is proof that the sexes are intertwined in complementary. For example, men care about it more because they want to please their partner. Right. So, the thing is, it's not a competition is that they work together, the yin and the yang. There is this research out that says, men - married men live longer than single men or divorced men and that's because women bring to the marriage low risk behaviors that reduce the high-risk behaviors of men.
WATTERS: What are you doing for Valentine's Day?
GUTFELD: Nothing, because--
WATTERS: Why?
GUTFELD: Elena, Russian, they don't have Valentine's Day. She doesn't even know it exists. They have International Women's Day. I don't even know what it is. But if I miss that I am screwed.
PERINO: What do you get her for that?
WATTERS: That's on a different day.
GUTFELD: It's on a different day. I think it's a communist thing that started - but like I don't know I think Bolsheviks started it and they expect like really expensive stuff.
WATTERS: More so than Valentine's.
GUTFELD: It's like a bigger deal, because it's moms, it's international--
WATTERS: All the women in life.
GUTFELD: The risks of marrying a Russian. Anything that has international in front of it, communistic.
WATTERS: OK. Jedediah what are you doing?
BILA: Yes. I don't know I am not a Valentine's Day kind of gal, but my wedding anniversary is on the 17th.
WATTERS: OK.
BILA: So, probably just celebrate that but--
GUTFELD: No, you can't smoosh.
BILA: I don't - I've never done Valentine's Day. It's like it's so commercial. And I don't really like--
WATTERS: Wait, you don't do it, or your man doesn't do it.
BILA: I'm not into it. I mean he's going to make me a good dinner tonight and that's the way to my heart is through my stomach.
WATTERS: That's pretty good.
BILA: So, I always say that.
GUTFELD: Because he is going to wear an apron.
BILA: But I do think men like it. The reason I think men like it. Yes, of course, is because I think they like to be chivalrous and sometimes--
GUTFELD: Yes.
BILA: And sometimes they don't know how to do it, but Valentine's Day--
PERINO: It feels awkward.
BILA: Yes.
PERINO: I see.
WATTERS: Juan, real quick, what are you doing tonight?
WILLIAMS: Well, the problem is, I'm in New York and my wife's in D.C.
GUTFELD: That's a problem? Meet me in Soho in two hours.
WILLIAMS: OK. But I've got to tell you - it's a problem. I'd tell you what is a problem.
WATTERS: Yes.
WILLIAMS: You can't get a reservation in a restaurant around.
WATTERS: That's true. Maybe if you say. I'm Juan Williams, they'll--
WILLIAMS: I'd say, I'm say Jesse's pal.
WATTERS: OK. Maybe that'll work for you, depending. And in honor of today's holidays, we made some Valentine's for our fans at home. Here's Dana's life would be rough without you.
PERINO: Look at that dog.
WATTERS: Up next Greg. Don't go breaking my heart. Juan, you're my one. And Jedediah, it's will you be my Valentine. And for yours truly. Watters and you are my world.
WILLIAMS: You are my world. Hey.
WATTERS: I am my biggest Valentine. One More Thing is up next.
WILLIAMS: Holy smoke.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
PERINO: OK. It's time now for One More Thing and on this Valentine's Day, it's time for this.
WATTERS: This has nothing to do with Valentine's Day.
PERINO: It's corny jokes. Well, I just do it on nice holidays and also because there is a theme. OK. So that gives you a little clue. There is a theme. All right. Number one, what did the flame say to his buddies after he fell in love?
WATTERS: I'm hot four.
GUTFELD: Got the hot four.
PERINO: That's a good guess. It was I found the perfect match.
WATTERS: Very good.
PERINO: OK. Number two, what did the farmer give his wife for Valentine's Day.
GUTFELD: A pig.
WATTERS: I can't say it.
PERINO: Hogs and kisses.
GUTFELD: That's close. I said a pig.
PERINO: Yes. What did that toast say to his wife on Valentine's Day?
GUTFELD: Butter me up.
PERINO: You're my butter half. That's pretty good. OK. This last one I love, why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef? Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
WATTERS: You'll get fat.
WILLIAMS: He's a flake. I don't know.
PERINO: He'll desert you.
WATTERS: Very good. Those are excellent.
PERINO: But that was - those are pretty good too. All right. Juan.
WILLIAMS: So, last night I must have been in a Valentine's Day kind of mood, because I wandered over to Radio City Music Hall to see Anita Baker, the R&B legend. She sings one of my favorite love songs, giving you the best that I've got. And today marks the anniversary of another famous love song, you guys know this one. Yes. That song turned 35 years old today. By the way, Lionel Richie has always been very kind to me. Here's a picture of Lionel with me and my wife Delisa (ph). And if you can believe it, he once had to put up with me singing, easy like Sunday morning to him after a Kennedy Center Award. Don't worry, I'm not going to do that here, but a very Happy Valentine's Day to all you lovers out there, especially my neglected wife on this Valentine's Day.
PERINO: All right. Greg Gutfeld.
GUTFELD: All right. Interesting dilemma here. Let's go with this. Or is it this. I'm going to let the table decide which is which, because I couldn't make up my mind. Take a look at this video if you will. This is an automatic dog scratcher; a woodworker Matt Thompson crafted this Rube Goldberg style automatic pet dog patter for his dog. You don't have to be a dog to use it. You could just be some fetishist, who likes to lie on the ground, butt naked, scratched by a piece of wood. That's what I like to do. This is some animals are robots, guys. Animals are robots.
BILA: You can get a splinter off that.
WATTERS: I think it's animals.
BILA: Animal.
GUTFELD: Juan, animals?
WILLIAMS: I liked what she said.
WATTERS: But the greatness comes from the robotics.
GUTFELD: OK.
WATTERS: That we're going to go robots.
WILLIAMS: Did you hear what Jedediah say?
GUTFELD: What?
BILA: You can get a splinter.
GUTFELD: That's true. Let's go with Animals are Great. Shall we?
PERINO: Jesse?
WATTERS: Look at this idiot on I24 in Tennessee. Guy did donuts for about 20 minutes and thousands and thousands of people on I24, huge traffic jam, it was jammed up the whole thing. I should have had donuts on the set for this.
PERINO: Real opportunity there, Jesse.
WATTERS: What a miss.
GUTFELD: Is he arrested, would he get arrested.
WATTERS: We have not followed-up on this story, but we're going to bring it to you on Monday.
WILLIAMS: But Jesse, how did he stop the traffic?
WATTERS: Well, like I said we've not followed it from the story.
PERINO: You have done a lot of research today. All right. Jedediah, we've got time for you today.
GUTFELD: Yes, sorry.
BILA: This is the cute story ever. Two-year-old Jackson McNary loves firefighters in California. When he saw a fire happening outside his window, he put on his firefighter Halloween costume and he went out to help them. Now he came equipped. He had a plastic axe. He had his whistle. He loves the firefighters and the battalion chief said something that was really cute that it's moments like this that are so important, because it reminds us of some of our chief duties, which is being a role model for these little boys and girls.
GUTFELD: Did they save the house or?
BILA: Yes, it was I believe.
PERINO: We haven't followed up on that.
GUTFELD: I mean but the kid had a great time.
BILA: How amazing is that. That's his dream to be a firefighter and they let him participate.
WILLIAMS: I think it's wonderful.
PERINO: I think some of my best reporting is the half reporting.
GUTFELD: The half reporting.
PERINO: That we do, because people can just think about it and they could let us know tomorrow what they think happened or maybe they'll Google it.
WATTERS: Half fake news.
PERINO: Yes.
WILLIAMS: Do you know the number one dream for little boys is fireman.
BILA: Yes, well it is such an admirable job.
GUTFELD: It's the truck.
WILLIAMS: It's the truck. And truck's awesome.
BILA: That's good.
PERINO: And they're heroes.
BILA: They are indeed.
(CROSSTALKING)
PERINO: All right. Set your DVRs. Never miss an episode of “The Five” for all of our half news.
"Special Report" is up next.
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