Your Grrrs: May 16, 2006

Your Grrrs, and don't forget to play Spot the Oblivion below...

Mel in Ohio: My GRRR is to people who are so up in arms over "The Da Vinci Code." The front cover clearly states the book is a NOVEL. Novel meaning a fictional prose narrative of considerable length (Webster's dictionary). If you don't want to read it, don't. I understand the novel challenges some long-held beliefs, but what is the harm in questioning? No one I know was around in the age of Jesus Christ. The Bible was written by humans and translated by humans over the generations. If humans are as imperfect as the Bible states, then that alone makes room for error. I'm not going to debate the validity of the Bible or any other religious doctrine, I'm simply wondering what some people (and the church) are so afraid of.

Terrie Miller writes about 'AI': So Elliott's out, huh? Don't bet on it. He's got a great shot at winning this whole thing. Nothing like an extremely talented and beloved underdog. Let's see who'll be the last contestant standing. My faith and money is on ELLIOTT YAMIN!

Jennifer F. in Malvern, Pa.: You know what my Grrr is? "American Idol." Am I the only person in America who doesn't watch or care about "American Idol" and who goes home or not? I have better things to do with my time...

Josh in Franxston, Texas: Love the column. You get a lot of our frustrations out for us! After looking at your 'find a word to buy the tickets' puzzle for a while, I think I see L-U-R-D-A-N, which means stupid. I am not claiming any super ability to see these, because I guessed a few times with Google until I found a real word.

Mike E. writes on Bonds: My Grrr! is in response to the media and fans acting like baseball is all of a sudden a game with a conscience. Baseball has celebrated players for years who are known cheaters without much moral fiber. Players like Ty Cobb, Tris Speaker and many of his teammates, and the 1919 White Sox team (the Black Sox scandal for you baseball obliviots), who were all known for fixing games. While the White Sox team was penalized for their actions, the others are enshrined in the Hall of Fame. Baseball has for years tolerated players who abuse alcohol and other drugs; even the Babe himself would be considered an alcoholic by modern standards. More current, however, is the amphetamine problem that baseball has finally begun to address. Amphetamine use in baseball dates back to the 1970s and the era of "gulp" -- even Henry Aaron himself. To be clear, I am NOT saying that Aaron was on amphetamines when he broke the home run record, but we will never know if he was or wasn't. Why now are we saying that baseball players should not be immune to our scrutiny, when we have looked the other way for 100 years? In short, my Grrr! is to the people who celebrated along with Mark McGwire and Sammy Sosa, watched with pride as players got bigger and better and now have turned on Barry Bonds as he approaches his next milestone. Don't pretend the game is more pure now than it has been over the past century.

Staci in St. Louis: Why do people write e-mails, text messages and postings with no real words? They substitute "you" with "u" and "are" with "r." I just saw a post on a message board where the person decided that vowels weren't necessary. So when this person wrote "about" it was just "abt." And several other words that just didn't warrant the vowels. It took me twice as long just to read the message. It doesn't take but a tenth of a second to type one or two extra letters in a word to make the spelling correct. They just look lazy and stupid and it takes longer for the reader to actually read the post. When did it become OK to leave out the vowels in a word? Or to replace them with something else all together, like writing "something" with "sumthing"? Did it all of a sudden become a math issue? Can we do this with everything? Am I allowed to write this way in my correspondence with clients in business letters? Can I talk like this to my boss? Just leave off the vowels in every word and just assume they will understand what I'm saying?

Carl from Wheaton, Ill: My Grrrs are BAD office habits. People with loud eating habits, and then sucking on their teeth when they're done! Sneezing and coughing into the air as if to share their "healthy" germs with the rest of us! They're called tissues!! Arrggggh! SPEAKER PHONES!! A technological wonder lost on some people. Seems they either need everyone else in the office to hear their conversations to justify their employment status through loud volume, or they are completely impervious to the fact that you could whisper into a speaker phone and still be heard on the other end. The louder their speaker volume, the LOUDER the "speak-ee" becomes!!!

Randy in Orlando: Grrr ... to the fact that politicians do not have required drug testing. Required and random testing is very common nowadays for even low-paying jobs. Why are people in positions of power immune to this? If I have a positive test, I had better have a prescription for it or I would be fired! I want to know that the leaders of our country are not under the influence when they are deciding my fate. I can just see Kennedy having a four martini lunch, then going back to vote on a bill!

KB in airspace: I am probably late on the bandwagon about this, as usual. But just about every news Web site you go to, someone is having a fit about this "Da Vinci Code" book (I saw a headline today where the Catholic church wanted to "debunk" the book before it hits the theaters). Even the CBS "Sunday Morning" program couldn't get the plot correct. In my humble opinion, I would think that if Dan Brown had wanted to prove the book's thesis that Jesus had a wife and his intentions for how HE wanted his church to be set up, he would have written it in a completely different manner, something other than telling a story with fictional characters. I read the book two weeks ago while I was on a plane coming back from a business trip. It was a quick read and I really enjoyed it. It was fun trying to guess what the next twist was going to be and the answer to the puzzles. Personally, I don't understand why people get so upset about the possibly that Jesus might have been married (sorry if that last comment starts a rush of people calling me an idiot, it is not intended as an insult to anyone's religion.)

Nikolai writes: Rita in N.C. is absolutely dead right, and I'm happy to see someone else agrees. We've become too stratified in our political affiliation that we can't see beyond what we're told by the party we support. A typical American says, "I don't know what my opinion on immigration reform is. What does the leader of my party say? What do the talk radio guys I listen to say? OK, that's my opinion because I have to stick with my party." Just because you disagree with the war doesn't mean that Bush is an evil man and everything he does is wrong. Rush Limbaugh may be a gasbag, but not everything he says is wrong. Al Franken may be a complete idiot, but he has a few good points to make. Of course, neither is 100 percent right, either. It's not black or white, everyone. You're allowed to disagree with the party you usually vote for and agree with the other one sometimes.

Jack in L.A. responds to Wilma: Dearest Wilma the Left Lane Vigilante/Obliviot ... The brightness that is shining in your eyes is THE SUN that we revolve around during our lifetime. Please be so kind as to remove your blinders and MOVE OVER to the right so the rest of us can get on with our lives on OUR OWN time. Thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart...

Jackie C writes: Just roll the ball over the plate? Bonds arms are 1/16" bigger so he is a fraud? So I suppose now we should only listen to Clay Aiken. After all he probably doesn't take prednisone when his vocal cords swell up. I suppose Steven Tyler should stop singing also because he might have a throat procedure done. Or even better why didn't we take away Bob Marley's marijuana? Because he wasn't influenced by THC at all. Or how about Chris Farley's cocaine ... Sinatra's booze! you see where I'm going.

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