Your Grrrs: Dec. 20, 2005

Your Grrrs...

Seth G. writes IF Only...: I have enjoyed every single Grrr! column of yours to date. I may not always agree with you, but your bare-bones enthusiasm is greatly appreciated. Imagine, for a moment, your persuasive common sense finding it’s way into everyday speak -- including politics, religion and taxes. Of course, there would then be a lot less for you to write about. Oh well, more time with your family, eh? Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays.

Susan in cyberspace: Mike, you are a RIOT. "Brokeback Mountain" ain't got nothin' on you. You missed your calling -- you should have been a Hollywood scriptwriter/casting agent. Phoenix and Witherspoon, and Pitt to boot. I am "Rolling on the Floor Laughing," to coin a tired Web cliche. Best column ever.

"A dedicated reader" responds: You're an idiot. The reason the subject ("Brokeback Mountain") is noteworthy is because it takes courage to be gay in a homophobic society as opposed to writing a snide column which takes only the willingness to spit out ill-formed thoughts. Good for you for appealing to narrow minds. You must be awfully proud of yourself.

Ben L writes: Please add a Pulitzer to your many awards. Writing the truth in such a humorous way deserves one. Don't know why you and Brad didn't cheat on each other with sheep, that way PETA could have had a role in the fun. Merck should be included in the scenario by developing a pill that will cure you of the "gay gene" -- 'course it might kill you as you are being cured. Then Graydon Carter could feature you again in one of his ridiculous editorials as "the man who had the courage to go straight" in his liberal world, of course it will hurt him, he'll have to quit Bush-bashing for a nanosecond and give up most of his friends.

Bryan H. in Las Vegas, Nev.: Normally, I look forward to your column. You seem to be one of the few who has his eyes wide open in this crazy world. I appreciate what your network does for the country. That being said, I was bothered by your recent column. As a gay guy working in broadcasting, I failed to see the humor in it. I've had to work hard to get where I am today. I don't wear my sexual orientation on my sleeve, mostly because I don't think the subject is that interesting, or anyone's business. However, I have experienced some difficulty and resistance because of it. You want acceptance into the "elite media" by proclaiming you're gay? I'm pleased to tell you that you're already there, deservedly so. But by putting out a slightly tasteless commentary like this, you only add to the fires of ignorance and intolerance in our great country. Try living the life of a gay American for one year. I'm sure you'd be shocked by the prejudice aimed at you. It takes strength be who you are in America. I'm certainly not going to stop reading/watching your work. It's a breath of fresh air, but I think you screwed up a little bit. I'd never assume that there are no gay viewers for FOX News. The views presented are logical and intelligent. We know the truth when we see it. I wish you, your family and everyone at FOX News a very Merry Christmas, and a joyous New Year. Keep up the great work.

Tim B writes: Too funny, however, I would suggest you switch to decaf in the a.m.

Susan S writes: Don’t forget that while on the cover of Vanity Fair, your married, gay, wheelchair-bound, death row, crackhead motorcycle accident body should be nude, a la, Demi Moore.

Rebecca in St. Marys, Ga.: This GRRR goes out to my downstairs neighbors, who have decided that my life will somehow be improved by their constant blaring of rap music. We live upstairs and they play their music with the bass so loud that my furniture rattles. This goes on all hours of the day and night. I have asked them to turn it down more than once, but to no avail. I pay rent for my little space every month just like they do. They certainly wouldn't allow me to walk through their apartment at my leisure, so why do they think that it's OK to intrude on my apartment with their noise?!

Becky writes: My Grrr is to Chad from Houston: He grrrs fat people?! What have we ever done to you, except to apparently pay for your job to exist?! I am fat because I choose to be? I don’t seem to recall the morning that I woke up and thought “You know what might be fun? If I gained 100 lbs. so that I could have strangers in the grocery store make comments about my food selections and be ridiculed by some guy named Chad in Texas.” I am an adult and I take responsibility for myself and for my actions. But before Chad starts grrring an entire group of people, he should try walking a mile in our shoes.

Rachel H. writes: It just GRRRs me that movie companies and movie theaters complain that not enough people go to see movies in the theaters anymore. I'll tell you why I don't go to the theater anymore: high prices (average of $9 per ticket or more), crowds and parking. Why should I bother to pay $9 per person to see a movie when I can go to Costco three to four months later and pick up the widescreen DVD for $17.99? As a bonus, I'll even get to keep the movie and watch it over and over again, which is not a benefit I get at the theater. Did I mention the advertisements I'm forced to sit through because I arrive early enough to get a good seat? If I want to watch commercials, I'll watch them on TV at home. By the time the feature presentation rolls around, I almost forget which movie I'm there to see, because I've spent more than a half-hour watching commercials and previews. I'm all for the printing of the "actual start" times in the newspaper and online.

Revelle in Austin, Texas: Grrr to the demonization of national chain stores. While doing my Christmas shopping, I went to our "best" local bookstore in an attempt to keep my part of Texas "weird." Well, not only did I have to deal with two "hipper/smarter than thou" clerks, try to figure out their bizarre shelving methods and dodge homeless people (because turning away bums is soooo not cool, man) but they didn't have either of the books that I was looking for!! Neither of them is old or obscure … but they weren't about Buddhism, feminist studies or anti-government so I was out of luck. Now, I have to make another trip out to go to the chain book store, where they have MULTIPLE copies of BOTH books in stock!! Look, I did my best, but there is a reason why large national chains are so popular … BECAUSE THEY HAVE WHAT PEOPLE ARE LOOKING FOR … and usually cheaper and with less attitude as well!

Jennifer L. in Toledo: Here is a big GRRRRRR now that the snow season is upon is in the Midwest. I just cannot take these obliviots who clear off a 12" x 12" section of snow on their windshield, and leave the rest on their cars! Never mind the fact that they can't see out the side or back windows. This tunnel-vision approach is hazardous to other drivers. Courteous drivers are left to contend with the foot of snow piled up on the roof and hood of their cars, which blows onto our windshield and proceeds to leave us blinded! Get a grip, people. Take the extra two minutes and clear off your car.

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