Your Grrrs: Aug. 23, 2005

Your Grrrs compiled by FOX Fan's Jonathan Summey.

From Steve in Slanesville, W.Va.: I work in a pizza shop and I go Grrr every time someone calls to place an order that goes like this: "Hi, I'd like to place an order." "Go ahead, sir." "Hey honey ... I got the pizza place on the phone ... what would you like? Pizza? Wing Dings? Are you sure? Why don't we get some onion rings too? What do you think, honey? What do you think Junior wants to eat?" Don't you think before people place a phone call to a service-oriented business that they could at least be remotely prepared as to what they want and how to have the conversation? I'm sure it happens with many businesses that depend upon the telephone. Thanks for letting me vent.

From Keith in Cyberspace: My Grrr is about "Last-Gaspers." They are those people who suck in one last, long drag from their cigarette before entering a No Smoking area, then hold their breath as long as possible before exhaling and filling the elevator, entryway or other small, enclosed space with the smoke that the rest of us didn't want to have to breathe. They are easy to spot, inflating themselves like a Macy's Parade balloon, and then tossing what's left of their cigarette onto the ground (the "courteous" ones fling in the general direction of the ash tray) as they make a grab for the door handle.

Stephanie in Oklahoma City, Okla.: This is a first for me, so hopefully it gets to the GRRR page. My GRRR goes out to the parents out there who think it's OK or a source of punishment to continually thump or smack their child on the back of the head. My recent experience was with a man and his 5-year-old son. The son started talking to me and the dad smiled, thumped him on the head and told him to keep to himself. When the boy kept talking to me, he repeatedly thumped him or smacked him on the back of the head and laughed like it was funny. In order to avoid the boy getting thumped, I tried to ignore him by reading something, but the father continued to thump him. Now yes, looking back, I could be called an Obliviot for not speaking up, but come on. If there are people out there reading your column that do this, hopefully they will realize that thumping on the head is NOT a form of punishment. I realize that yes, kids do need to be punished sometimes, and I'm not against the occasional swat, but to thump a someone on the head is despicable and demeaning, especially if your child isn't doing anything wrong. Thanks for letting me vent and I love your column.

Matt in Mobile, Ala.: OK, I'll say it — overweight people really, really Grrr me when they complain about being treated unfairly. For example, they think that it's unfair of airlines wanting to charge them for an extra seat. Why not? Your big butt is sitting in mine. If you want to eat and be fat, then enjoy it. Being happy means doing what you like doing. So eat, get fat and be happy! Or do something about it. In my state, there are obese people who want handicapped parking stickers. This is insane! I think they should make these obese people park at the farthest spot in the lot because they need the exercise! Come on, people!

From Frank in Smyrna, Ga.: Hey Mike, thank you for posting the racial profiling quiz! Gosh, having all the correct answers letter “d” really forced you to have to have conviction that you knew the answer. I thought maybe I was being tricked. Just to be safe, I am looking into the donors to Mother Theresa’s charity. I already don’t trust tour buses of 80-year-old women. After all, that tour bus ploy is just too perfectly disarming. I will continue to look outside the box since inside the box is overwhelmingly obvious. Thanks again!

From Becky in Kansas City: Hey Mike, I enjoy reading your column every week. Here is my GRRRR. This morning, my two sons (10 and 12) and I went out to breakfast. As we were leaving the restaurant, my oldest held open the door. Before I could exit, a group of about 12 people starting walking in. Every one of those people walked through the door my son held open, but NOT one of them said thank you. OBLIVIONS!! These are probably the same people who complain that kids are "so rude these days." Since these people were Oblivions, it probably didn't occur to them that if they said "Thank you," it would encourage my son to continue this courteous behavior. It is one thing when it happens to me. My usual response is to sound off with a loud "You're Welcome!" But when adults act this way to my kids, any kids, it really gets my goat. Hey people, remember children emulate the behavior they see, wherever they see it, whoever is doing it. You don't have to be a movie star or a sports star to be a role model.

Joni in Colorado: I have discovered the reason that there are so many Obliviots and Wal-Martians around these days. They all dutifully remember to take their "Me Pills" each morning. So next time you're cut off in traffic, pushed aside at a counter or railed at for some petty reason, just smile and say, "I think you may have taken a few too many Me Pills this morning." Then run for the nearest exit. The side effects are hazardous!

Barry in Knoxville, Tenn.: A BIG Grrrrrr! Please, will someone please explain to me the media fascination with the boorish and obnoxious antics of Courtney Love? She's about as interesting as a wet dishrag. I couldn't care less about her bout with drugs, or her continual battles in our courts of law for probation issues. Give it a rest, guys!

Jackie in Walker, Mich.: Mike, you know what really Grrrs me? Non-handicapped people who drive into a handicapped parking space and run into the store. They don't even have a handicapped passenger. I need that handicapped parking space and I resent able-bodied people making my life much more difficult just for a little convenience to them. If they can run, they don't need handicapped parking.

Chris in Chicago, Ill.: While reading the recent Grrr! (which I make sure to read every week), it made me think of one of my Grrrs that I'd like to share with you. It's about the traffic lane idiots. You know when you are sitting in traffic and someone ZOOMS by in the traffic lane then cuts over and cuts you off? There is a name for this and my wife Victoria is the one who came up it: This person is called a CHISLER. Also, we came up with a name for those groups of people who are totally oblivious to others around them when walking on busy city streets (and taking up the entire sidewalk) like here in Chicago. The name is MEANDERTHALS!!

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Mike Straka is the director of operations and special projects for, and covers entertainment and features on the Sunday program "FOX Magazine." He also writes the weekly Grrr! Column and hosts "The Real Deal" video segments on