MTV has green-lit a bisexual dating show I'll never watch called, "A Shot at Love With Tila Tequila."
The series features contestants who want to win the heart of Ms. Tequila, who is bisexual, which means the sure-to-be irritating contestants will be dopey dorks and loopy lesbians with crap tattoos.
Here's my problem with MTV and bisexuals: They're boring. Both pride themselves on "challenging the norm." It makes me laugh to think anyone believes going bi is a mark of individuality, when it's really the worst kind of indecision. The fact is, creating more options doesn't make you a better person — working within constraints, or in restraints, does.
That's why MTV is so lame. It tries so hard to be cool, but ends up with asinine programming that's about as awesome as a divorced dad trying to hit on his daughter's best friend.
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And, if bisexuality was as frequent in real life as it was in TV and movies, we'd all scream when we pee. But we don't and thank God for that.
The real hypocrisy in pop culture is that if a man has sex with men and women, we call him gay. But we love bisexual women — as a girlfriend, one might bring you something home that's extra special, on your birthday: banana bread.
Finally, bisexuality reminds me of a childhood friend in California who rooted for the Giants and the As. You can't do both, just like you can't root for both the Yankees and the Mets. It was no surprise that later I found out he killed cats.
And that's my gut feeling.