So we've got a new president and damn if he's not delicious.
I'm serious: I'm no liberal (I don't like scented candles), but Obama is smart, inspiring and sexy. In short, he's an amazing messenger.
But I don't like messengers, I like messages. And if the message sucks then I don't care how great the messenger is.
And that's the real story behind Tuesday night: The message Obama carried was one of "change," which can mean anything and everything, rendering it every bit as meaningful as lint. But in politics, you need a message and you shouldn't let a messenger's charm distort your faculties. See Chris Matthews.
So what's Obama's message? Beats me. Worse, it's been so long, that most people forget what liberalism smells like: big government; high taxes; weak foreign policy; patchouli.
I'd like to think Obama hit the center because he'll have to. Fact is, our country, as a whole, hates liberalism. Even its practitioners avoid the word. It's the soiled diaper of labels.
But if Obama does shift right, it's one thing we can thank McCain for. Seriously, McCain did more than Obama himself in shaping Obama's future presidency. By focusing on Obama's socialist rhetoric, his queasy tax plan and his creepy friends, maybe America might start doing the same, and that could keep Obama in line.
The fact is, Obama knows what Republicans do right. Under Bush, we've had no terror attacks in seven years, a free Iraq, an impotent Libya and a powerless Syria. If it wasn't for the crap economy caused by the Robin Hood practices of the left, the election results would be far closer.
A final irony: A candidate considered soft on terror will be forced to prove otherwise, as Biden pointed out. Obama, to prove himself a force to be reckoned with, will have to blow the hell out of a country.
Fine by me. I hope it's Belgium.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.
Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com