According to new research, performing two Google searches can create the same amount of carbon dioxide as boiling a kettle. Worse, apparently the global IT industry generates as much greenhouse gas as the world's airlines!

Immediately, I thought how ironic it is that the man leading the fight against global warming is also the man now responsible for causing a lot it. I mean, Al Gore — aka Captain Planet — the jet-setting inventor of the Internet.

The bottom line is as long as these purveyors of panic see carbon dioxide as a measure of doom — which it isn't — then every kind of creative activity, whether it's Google searches or breaking wind, can be seen as evil. And that's the backbone of global warming hysteria: It's not about protecting the earth, but damning humans.

I've never met a modern environmentalist who wasn't a misanthrope, which explains why most of them, like Gore, buy houseboats. The only creatures who can stand them are fish.

Anyway, do you think the folks at Google — who are greener than my moldy toes — are now going to shut down their data centers to help the planet? No. Instead they'll preserve their image by throwing billions at useless carbon offsets and dumb environmental groups.

Sorry, but they should go to Slovenia, where it's so cold you can no longer wear piercings for fear they will freeze.

Hell, it's so cold here, I had to remove mine. Well, Bill actually swallowed it — but same thing.

And if you disagree with it, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com