President-elect Obama's plan to save the economy involves hiring the jobless to install light bulbs, paint classrooms and build windmills.
Yes — windmills. Those stupid things that look great in postcards, but only work when it's windy.
It's true: When windmills don't blow, they suck.
But what sucks more? That Obama is creating jobs for people with transferable skills and totally ignoring the media! I mean, what about the freshly fired from lifestyle mags and gossip blogs?
Look, the last thing we need is Paul Krugman standing around in Home Depot, offering to shovel your walk for twenty bucks. And Maureen Dowd couldn't fix a toilet at gunpoint. I know — I've tried.
See, Obama's just making jobs for people who are already skilled and therefore need no help. What he really needs to do is create "make-work" jobs for people who can only spout opinions and attend cocktail parties.
We could call them community organizers.
But really, paying newly jobless Americans to do busy work really didn't work during the New Deal and it won't work now. You need to grow an economy using free market ideas, not turn the government into a job fair.
Real tax reform — not rebates — creates new businesses. And new businesses create jobs. And while I'd love a new bridge, I am far from qualified to build it. I mean, I can barely get dressed in the morning and for that reason, I often don't bother.
And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler!