Remember when President Obama told those bankers that he was protecting them from the "pitchforks?"

It made me think. And as always, when I think, I get confused, sad and then damp.

But it was then I realized I couldn't recall one movie that depicted a large company as "heroic." Instead, all you'll find are films like "Michael Clayton" and "Erin Brockovich" — flicks that only serve to paint corporations as entities driven by evil thoughts, out to commit evil deeds.

In Hollywood, the mob is always more sympathetic than the manager.

Some might call this liberal bias, but I don't. I call it "little guy" bias. The fact is, people love stories where the little guy is pitted against the big guy and it's always cool when the little guy brings the big guy down. The original little guy vs. big guy story was David and Goliath — my favorite because they wore furry thongs.

But here's the thing: For the most part the "big guy" isn't evil; the "big guy" is the good guy. Remember: the "big guy" was once just a bunch of "little guys" with a big idea. And now, they happen to be made up of thousands of "little guys" and "gals." (Can't forget "the gals." Someone has to type those memos.)

Corporations like AIG aren't anonymous Goliaths, they're people. Little people — I'd say — stuck in a big mess. The funny thing is, in the real world the people who take on corporations are neither big nor little. They're just creepy. For research purposes, I sat home all day and watched those commercials for trial lawyers. And already I'm thinking of suing FOX News for the indigestion I suffered after eating my homemade brine shrimp sandy.

It was actually made of sea horses, so I may sue them too.

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com