Ladies, I'm here to offer you some advice: Don't turn down that nerd asking you out. He's a hottie.
And don't take it from me, clearly a card-carrying member of the "nerd of burning love" camp. Take it from life and from my old friend Johnny, who e-mailed me Wednesday.
When I was a kid, back in school, Johnny was not only a nerd, he was such a nerd he freaked out fellow nerds. He was nerd to the tenth power.
Before calculators, there was Johnny the human calculator.
He was disheveled and sloppy. He had pants almost up to the neck and a head of hair like that of Link from “The Mod Squad”... only bigger. The kid was a geek and needless, to say, a friend.
We connected -- I know you might find that shocking. But Johnny didn't connect with other kids in my class... particularly female kids in my class.
I remember for one dance he asked no less than 18 girls to go with him. All declined. He made me look like Hugh Hefner. What does that tell you?
One even said, "You've got to be kidding, Johnny. I wouldn't go out with you if you offered me a million bucks."
Too bad, chick-a-dee... because brace yourself. Today, Johnny is worth about a hundred million bucks.
Between real estate and some shrewd investments and something about a leveraged buyout at his firm some years back, Johnny is getting it done. And all without your sorry, pigtail-teen attitudes of years past.
Johnny's married now -- just recently apparently -- to an old friend, and might I add, a nah-nah-nah friend at that.
He's happy. She's happy.
The beauty who married the beast, with the monstrous bank account.
So, lesson to be learned ladies: Before you turn down that dude at the bar with the woefully coordinated outfit and the polyester slacks, think. Nerds are loyal. Nerds are kind. Nerds can surprise you.
Just ask Johnny. If he'll even want to talk to you… he's kind of busy.
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