President Obama Buys America a Pony

What did we learn this weekend?

We learned that the health care reform bill is such a big idea that it doesn't matter what's in it. And at 2,700 pages, no one can really know. This was a "yes" vote on Shangri-la.

Essentially Obama and Pelosi (Obamalosi, for short) looked at our crappy economy weighed down by three massive entitlement programs (Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid) and thought: Let's have a fourth. The worst part was that they say it will save money.

Here's a graph from Nick Gillespie's great piece at Check out the estimated cost of Medicare: $12 billion. Now check out its actual cost: $110 billion. They were only off by 900 percent.

Welcome to Greece, people. Jump in, the water's warm.

First they tried to sell the bill on moral grounds — didn't work. Then on efficiency grounds — still didn't work. Then they switched to saving money. Insure 30 million new people and you'll save billions. Using the same logic, we should insure Canada too. We'd be in the black by then!

Look, universal health care is a beautiful idea. But so is getting a pony for your fifth birthday. When daddy argues with little Susie over that pony, she doesn't care about how they're going to afford it. She doesn't care if they have to sell the house. She just wants that pony.

But see, daddy should know that. And daddy shouldn't actually buy the pony! And, most of all, he shouldn't tell everyone that it's cheaper than having a car.

But he just did. And the media and the Democrats fell in line like a classroom of 5-year-old girls.

They didn't just buy the pony. They just bought the whole damn farm.

And if you disagree with me, you're a racist homophobe who wears fur to whale-eating parties.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: