If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times: I will never give you diet advice. I mean, do I look like a guy who should be piping up at a restaurant, "Hey, buddy, try the salad?"

No, I don't think so.

So imagine my shock at learning the European Commission (search) is set to fine Microsoft (search) for anti-competitive behavior.

The Europeans say Bill Gates and Co. broke European competition law and should be punished.

Let me see if I get this straight. The socialist governments that cradle their companies are going after an American success story that cradles its windows.

This, from the people whose idea of free trade is keeping American products out and their own grossly subsidized products in. And whose Airbus industry is a consortium, largely financed by and supported with European government money. No wonder these guys can bid so low on plane contracts.

This from the people who bemoan our deficits but don't say boo about their own.

Who say we should watch our economic recovery, when we're growing three times faster than they are.

Who say our tax cuts are too much, while their long-suffering people endure taxes too high.

Yes, we have our problems. But who the hell are you to judge?

The way I see it, unless I'm Bruce Jenner, I won't tell you what to eat. And Europe, unless you're the envy of the world, quit lecturing to our part of the world.

Because news flash, Jacques ... no one cares!

We are many things in this country, but smarmy, lying, jealous, sycophant-ish, afraid-of-competition, socialists we are not.

We have a saying in this country: If you can't stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen. I say, stay in the kitchen. Right now, food is just about the only thing you are good at.

Watch Neil Cavuto's Common Sense weekdays at 4 p.m. ET on Your World with Cavuto.