Let me introduce you to the players. First, we have the far-left Media Matters Web site, which routinely assassinates the characters of conservatives and Republicans. These guttersnipes distort the public record hoping to harm people with whom they disagree. They never scrutinize liberals.

Then we have a group called the Women's Media Center, which was started by Jane Fonda and Gloria Steinem, among others. Add to that Hearst White House columnist Helen Thomas and me, your very humble correspondent, and off we go.

Click here to watch "Talking Points"!

Now Ms. Thomas is 88 years old and an enthusiastic liberal. To her credit, she's upfront about that.


HELEN THOMAS, REPORTER: I'm a liberal. I was born a liberal. I'll be one until I die. What else should a reporter be?

The president and his cohorts, I think they have really spread war throughout the Middle East. They have really encouraged all of the horror that's going on. We have killed so many innocent people.

Would I vote for Obama? Because I really thought that he was a great gift to democracy, that it would show that the American people were fair and balanced.


That a girl. Now on Monday, Ms. Thomas posed an incredible dopey question to President Obama.


BARACK OBAMA, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES: Helen? This is my inaugural moment here. I'm really excited.

THOMAS: Mr. President, do you think that Pakistan are maintaining the safe havens in Afghanistan for these so-called terrorists? And also, do you know of any country in the Middle East that has nuclear weapons?


Now, since everybody knows Al Qaeda and the Taliban are hiding in Pakistan, and since they are not "so-called "but real terrorist killers, I poked a little fun at Helen.


O'REILLY: Now the White House press corps looked intimidated to me. Didn't they — except for that, what's her name, the old lady, Helen Thomas? She was yelling even past her — he just ignored her.


O'REILLY: Ah. She actually — here's what she actually is…

COLMES: Is that your Helen Thomas impression?


COLMES: Is that your Helen Thomas impression?

O'REILLY: Ah, ah. It's like the wicked witch of the East.

COLMES: You know, I didn't know you did impersonations.

O'REILLY: You know, here's what I — if I were Obama, I would have poured water on her and she'd dissolve.

COLMES: Bill, it's not nice to impersonate an old woman.

O'REILLY: It doesn't matter.

COLMES: That's not nice.

O'REILLY: I know she's a legend, but she actually asked a question, "Do you think the Taliban's hiding in Pakistan?"


O'REILLY: That was her question.


O'REILLY: So my question to you is why can't my mom ask a question? Why can't my mom?

COLMES: Because your mom…

O'REILLY: How about your mom?

COLMES: Does your mom have a 40-year journalistic career where she's…

O'REILLY: Well, with all due respect to Helen Thomas, I don't know if that was the highlight of her career.


O'REILLY: OK? Do you think there are Taliban hiding in Pakistan?

COLMES: All right, Bill.

O'REILLY: What kind of a press conference is this?

COLMES: Be nice to…


Now, within minutes of saying that, the corrupt Media Matters, as I mentioned, sounded the alert, and was picked up by the far-left fringe.

Bonnie Erbe, who blogs for U.S. News & World Report, said my remarks were hateful.

The New York magazine blog, under the supervision of Adam Moss, said I cruelly urged President Obama to throw water on Helen Thomas. That's my favorite. I urged the president to douse Ms. Thomas. Way to go, New York magazine, a real fair and balanced publication.

And then the Women's Media Center issued this press release: "We urge you [to send] an official complaint to FOX News about Bill O'Reilly. His sexist and ageist comments about legendary reporter Helen Thomas require an apology."

Now if you want to do that, if you want to complain to the FOX News brass, just e-mail me and I'll pass your urgings along, all right?

Now, is this nuts or what? Last week, I was a racist for supporting responsible immigration reform. This week, I'm a sexist ageist for poking fun at Helen Thomas. I believe we are running out of -ists.

And please consider this: "Saturday Night Live" can mock Sarah Palin all day long, but I can't mock Helen Thomas? New York Times can brand people any vile name they want, but I can't make fun of an absurd question at a presidential press conference? That's some system, isn't it?

By the way, I sent Helen Thomas flowers today. A caller on "The Radio Factor" suggested it. Just wishing her the best Valentine's Day ever. I hope that wasn't sexist.

And that's "The Memo."

Pinheads & Patriots

Thursday the Colorado legislature will once again take up Jessica's Law. Colorado is one of just eight states that have failed to pass mandatory sentences for child rapists.

State Rep. Laura Bradford is leading the movement to protect the kids out there, and we're hoping she is persuasive enough to get the law passed. Ms. Bradford is a patriot.

On the pinhead front, 10-year-old Stump, a Sussex spaniel, has won the top prize at the Westminster Dog show here in New York. But the PETA folks did not like the entire display.

Click here to watch "Pinheads & Patriots"!


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm sorry, sir, I think you have the wrong meeting.

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Oh, is this the American Kennel Club?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Yes, but we're discussing...

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: You believe in the sanctity of pure bloodlines, right?


UNIDENTIFIED MALE: And breeding to achieve a master race?

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Well, master pedigree. They're...

UNIDENTIFIED MALE: Race, pedigree, I mean, that's just all semantics.


Unbelievable. Once again, PETA gains pinhead status.

You can catch Bill O'Reilly's "Talking Points Memo" and "Pinheads & Patriots" weeknights at 8 and 11 p.m. ET on the FOX News Channel and any time on foxnews.com/oreilly. Send your comments to: oreilly@foxnews.com