Paid Idiots

I remember years ago being at this uppity Wall Street function I had to cover for a prior job.

The speaker was an investment strategist with a premier brokerage firm. He was beyond condescending. In hearing my Italian sounding name, I think he thought I was there to clean his marble.

I remember he started his speech, and I think I'm quoting fairly accurately here, "When the little guy is into stocks, I'm out of stocks. And when the little guy is out of stocks, I'm into stocks."

Everyone chuckled.

This dude had a snide grin like one of those James Bond villains.

I instantly hated him.

Years later, I heard he lost his job.

You know why?

Because he was the one "into stocks that he should have been out of," hooked on money-losing Internet companies he boasted were the new rage. And dead set against "boring old companies with earnings," he insisted were not.

Turns out he was no brighter than the "stupid lemmings" he despised.

You know, my dad used to say, "Whenever someone gets his jollies trying to make you look like an ass, he's probably an even bigger ass."

They're the same Einsteins who predict earnings for companies and miss. And forecast meager job gains, like the ones expected for April, and miss even more.

The wonder isn't that they treat the rest of us like idiots.

The wonder is that they're paid to be idiots.

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