Now for Your Grrrs: March 29, 2005

Now for your Grrrs...

Lisa in Ohio: My Grrr is to the system that allows a man who has been convicted of 24 sexual offenses back on the streets but only if he promises to register his address with the local authorities! We trust these criminals to register and then shake our heads and call it a terrible shame when he sexually abuses and then kills an innocent child. This is a great country and I am proud to be an American but why, oh why, must we give child abusers/molesters chance after chance to prove how despicable they are??

Mike D. in Atlanta: The "Exit Only Obliviot" (EOO) rides in the right lane and wonders what those yellow tabs on the signs mean that say "Right Lane Exit Only". Those tabs are there for miles, yet the EOO stays in that lane. At the last minute he says to himself, "Oh golly gee! This lane is exit only! I will just whip the wheel to the left and get into the next lane without looking to see if it's occupied because I sure don't want to exit!" I see the EOO frequently and they never look when they suddenly realize where they are, they just react, never mind who is in the next lane. Frequently, they make themselves more dangerous by being on the phone.

U.S. Marine Matt back from Iraq: You posted a Grrrr of mine when I was logged in from Iraq. My grrrr was in regards to Oblivion comments about the orientation of the VP's daughter during the presidential debates. Thanks for posting it. Unfortunately I wasn't able to log in after that so now I am playing catch up and have to look at the archives. You told me to make it back safely and I did. Thank you for the concern. I just wanted to let you know I made it home. I don't want to let my son out of my sight for a minute. Being away from him was the worst part. But now, life is good. All is well. Best to you and yours. Semper Fi.

— Welcome home, Matt.

John M. in Oakland, Calif.: I thought I was the only one who noticed the emergence of this cretinous generation of Oblivions (as you amusingly call them) over the past 25 years.
Gen-Y Oblivions are karma for us 50-somethings. We of the boomer generation are getting payback for allowing our kids to be raised by MTV. And in that sense I feel a bit sorry for the Oblivions, because most of them aren't even aware of their problem. They really don't know they are acting like jerks. Ignorance is not bliss, it's obliviousness. But at the same time, the rest of my life will have its quality reduced by their boorish behavior. So keep up the good work and maybe your examples will cause a little consciousness-raising among the ranks of the terminally unaware.

Jerrett in Utah: I hope that you are able to review the attached audio file, I found this to be an excellent recording of an Oblivion doing what they do. I'm not sure how you will share this with your readers, but it likely will give you a good laugh and grrr!!! to boot.

Click Here to Listen ... it's a pretty hilarious 911 call that's been making the rounds on the Internet ... you'd have to hear it to believe it.

Megan in Philly on Laundromat Oblivions: Today, I'm doing my laundry. I live in an apartment complex that has about 15 different laundry buildings, each with three washers and dryers in them. One is on the end of each building. I hauled my laundry down there this afternoon to laundry room "a." Sadly, washer #1 was out of order. No problem, there are two other ones. I opened the lid to the others and was assaulted by the stench of mildewing clothes. Apparently, some Oblivion had put their laundry in the washer and had left it there for several days (from the smell, I'd say a week). So instead of removing this soggy, smelly mess, I packed up my things and trudged off to laundry room "h," the next closest one. Yes, again, I was met by someone's laundry, smelling up the machines. I'm wondering if it's the same Oblivion who just had a lot of laundry. I'm not saying you need to change over your load the moment it has stopped spinning, but please, it's not just your machine, move your stinky clothes so the rest of us can be clean!

Rachel in Gainsville, Fla.: My GRRRR goes out to the special breed of Oblivion in my place of business: Food Stealers. In my office building, we have a huge community fridge in the break area (which serves as the fridge for at least 250 people who work on my floor). I should have known better than to think my lunch would be safe there. I had my lunch tampered with today, and I believe my blood pressure reached a record high. Not only is this person stealing, but it's disgusting to think of someone who would probably eat anything they found anywhere that looked interesting. Myself and several of my co-workers have had food stolen from the fridge. Usually we find our lunch opened and half-eaten, then placed back in the fridge as though we wouldn't notice. This is low on so many different levels ... GRRRR!

Brad Duke's "What Goes Through the Mind of an Oblivion:"

—I better stop on a dime as I'm walking through this busy airport, I'm hungry. Sir, how dare you bump into me! Don't you watch where you are walking? Didn't you know I was obviously looking for food to eat before my flight? What is your rush?

—Hmmm. I think I'll go to the top of the "off" ramp and merge into this bumper-to-bumper traffic. Oh, I better slow down in case a spot opens up though. Shoot, I can't get in and the solid white line is near. I think I'll stop right here until someone lets me in. I'm sure all of these cars I'm holding up behind me are only going to merge as well. Why would they need to use this exit? I don't.

—Yes, I know, this one will offend people, but I know readers have experienced it, especially when they are in a hurry: Oh, hi there. You look exactly like an ATM to me. Can you give me some money please? What, you are in a hurry? Well, excuse me, I didn't realize you came to this convenience store just to quickly buy coffee, sit in all that traffic and be on your way to work. You do not have any consideration for fellow human beings.

Thanks for all of your Grrrs.

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Mike Straka is the director of operations and special projects for, and covers entertainment and features on the Sunday program "FOX Magazine."

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