No One Listens

What if it isn't Congress' fault? No one listens.

I'm at this store trying to pick out a Mother's Day gift for my wife — it's OK, she's out with the kids at a game — hopefully she won't hear this.

Anyway, as soon as I come into the shop, I'm pounced on — first by what seems like the manager or owner, then his wife.

"What can we do for you?"

"Have you seen our newest selections?"

"Why don't we show you?"

At this point, they're almost attached to me.

Right there, I stop them, "Why don't you not? I appreciate it, but I'm in kind of a rush, and I don't need any help."

Fine. They let me browse — for 30 seconds, maybe less.

Guy comes back, "Oh, that's am excellent piece. You have a good eye. Let me tell you a little bit about it."

Again, I politely remind him, “That's OK, I'm fine. Just looking. Big rush.” His wife comes. "Oh, I see you've found something."

"No, I haven't."

"Oh yes, you clearly have."

"Ummm, no, I have not."

"Hmmm," she frowns, "Perhaps if you give us an idea of what you are interested in?"

Being left alone, I think to myself, but being the ever-polite financial anchor titan I am, I say, “I'll know it when I see it.”

Then no sooner had I walked two feet than the two of them, now clearly tag-teaming me, descend like vultures. "Ah ha!!! You have a remarkable eye, Mr. Cavuto (you see, they know me — I'm kind of a big deal)."

But enough about me, back to me — and the final straw.

"We can ship that."

"Ship what?" I ask, wondering what of the dozen or so items within range of me they think I'm looking at. "All of 'em," the hubby says. "You're in our exclusive selection," the wife says.

Now I'm getting short-tempered — I haven't eaten lunch and they won't shut up.

"Like I said," I say, "I prefer to be left alone."

They just stare at me. Then — salvation. I get a phone call — it's my daughter. She found something better at the shop next door.

So I leave, and say thank you. Closing the door, remembering the final image of both their mouths open, but saying nothing. Nothing at all.

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