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So while having my morning bubble bath, I came across an article summing up 30 years of research on raising children. It said success lies not in praising talent, but emphasizing hard work.

This is a kick in the groin to every self-help scam artist who pumped the sham of self-esteem down our throats. From eighth grade to "Oprah," we've been told that feeling good is better than doing good. As long as you're happy, who cares if you sit around all day and get high in your underwear?

Which, I confess, is pretty fun. Especially if there's a "Golden Girls" marathon.

See, people with high self esteem expect achievement without effort. And so you find they are the most selfish people on earth. They're the roommate who never cleans, the friend who never repays a debt, the hooker who never shaves.

Why fix what isn't broken, when you're naturally superior?

My solution to excess esteem? Reverse it. Reward effort and denigrate pride. Salute sweat and punish sloth. And the next time someone tells you how important it is to feel good about yourself, punch him in the face. And say, thanks, I feel better already!

And that's my gut feeling!

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 2 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com