Monster Burger Dares to Be Eaten

In a direct challenge to American pride, the world's biggest cheeseburger has been cooked up 5,000 miles away in Glasgow, Scotland.

The massive sandwich weighs 10 pounds, is 18 inches across and contains 12 slices of cheese and a mere 7,000 calories, about 3½ times the recommended daily intake.

It's yours for free if you can polish it off in three hours, says the Baloo Burger Company (search). Otherwise, it'll set you back $125.

"It's huge — an absolutely massive amount of food," Baloo Burger manager Craig Johnson told The Scotsman.

Not only does the slab of beef itself weigh 7 pounds, almost as much as a newborn baby, but eating the burger will inject 200 grams of fat into your system.

The previous record-holder had been a 6-pound slider at a pub in Pennsylvania, which Johnson saw as a challenge.

"I saw an item on TV about the world's biggest burger," he told the Scottish Daily Record. "I assumed the Americans would have it sewn up, but when we found we could cook a record-breaker fairly easily, we thought we'd give it a go."

As of Dec. 22, three unsuccessful attempts had been made to consume the grilled Gargantuan, including one by a six-man team.

"A few of the regulars have taken up the challenge," Johnson told The Scotsman, "but I'm pleased to say they haven't been able to do it."

The beastly burger has to be ordered 24 hours in advance, as it takes 90 minutes to cook the beef, and the bun has to be specially made.

Anyone who eats the whole thing, in addition to getting it for free, will get a certificate of some sort and his picture on the restaurant's wall.

After All That, He Slept Like a Baby

ATHENS, Tenn. (AP) — An armed robbery suspect used the arrest of his partner as a diversion to steal a new patrol car, crash into a ditch, break into a woman's home and then fall asleep on her couch, authorities said.

Robert Bell was arraigned on a variety of charges after the spree that began with the holdup of a market early Dec. 15, said McMinn County Sheriff (search) Steve Frisbie. The other suspect charged is Patrick C. Ellswood.

After hitting the market, the two robbers allegedly stole a Ford Bronco and led authorities chasing them into Athens. They ran the Bronco into a fence and struck a parked car.

The pair jumped out of the car and tried to run away as an officer got out of his cruiser to chase them on foot.

Authorities said Ellswood tried to attack the officer, who shot him with a stun gun.

But Bell got into the officer's cruiser and drove off — and then into the ditch, causing $3,200 damage to a car that had been in service only a week.

"In defense of the deputy, this was a felony stop, and if he had turned off the car and taken out the keys, he probably wouldn't have stopped the man," Frisbie said. "It was a split-second decision."

Bell was captured after the woman who lived in the house he broke into called police to say he had passed out, reeking of alcohol.

Bell and Ellswood refused to give authorities their ages or addresses. They are charged with armed robbery, evading arrest, theft, criminal impersonation, unlawful possession of a weapon and several other crimes.

Gender-Bending 'Stewardess' Gets Caned

SINGAPORE (AP) — A Myanmar man has been sentenced by a Singapore court to four years in prison and six lashes with a cane after posing as a stewardess to pick up men in nightclubs and then stealing from them, a newspaper reported Dec. 21.

Chan Zo Zo, 24, prowled Singapore's nightclubs to find his victims, calling himself "Michelle" and claiming he was a flight attendant, The Straits Times newspaper said.

Chan then swiped credit cards, cash and cell phones from the men while they were asleep in a spree that began in September 2003 and ended in August this year, the report said.

Among his victims were two Britons, a Japanese and a Belgian man, the paper said. It wasn't clear whether they knew he was a man.

Chan, a former student in Singapore, was jailed Monday after pleading guilty to four counts of cheating, theft and overstaying without a valid visa, the paper said.

Hearse Driver Discovers He's Dead

KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) — The dead driving the dead.

At least that's how the government seemed to have it in the case of Frank Jansky, a 75-year-old Kansas City man who drives a hearse part-time. Even as he lived and breathed, the Social Security Administration (search) seemed to think he was no longer alive.

Jansky was traveling in England in September and October. He returned home in November to find his checking account mysteriously depleted and a letter from Medicare denying payment for diabetes treatment.

"Our records show that the date of death was before the date of service," the letter said.

Social Security officials had taken back electronic deposits they made for Jansky in August and September and cut off payments for the succeeding two months.

Jansky appeared before a representative for the Social Security Administration in the flesh, carrying his passport and driver's license. He was told to expect to be resurrected — on paper at least — within two weeks.

Jansky returned two weeks later. Two more weeks, he was told.

John Garlinger, a spokesman for Social Security, said the mix-up appeared to lie in New York, where Jansky had lived for decades before moving to Kansas City in 1990.

A funeral home or family member apparently mistakenly reported Jansky's death, Garlinger said. The error could have been as simple as a funeral home worker wrongly typing in a Social Security number.

Jansky's formal rebirth finally came when the money owed to him was deposited in his account. He said he could find some humor in the situation, but it was fading.

"It was funny," Jansky said. "But it's not funny."

Be Nice to Your Fast-Food Employees

MIDVALE, Utah (AP) — Talk about upsizing.

Travis Dominguez, 20, has been accused of double-swiping the credit cards of what he considered to be irritating customers at a Taco Bell (search) drive-through.

"The customers he did it to annoyed him somehow, and he did it for revenge," said Midvale police Detective Scott Nesbitt.

Dominguez didn't indicate how the customers annoyed him, Nesbitt said.

Dominguez allegedly doubled-swiped credit cards five times, putting in different amounts on the second swipe, anywhere between $20 to $30.

Dominguez faces five felony counts of unlawful use of a credit card, and single misdemeanor counts of theft and obstruction of justice. "He left me several voice messages pretending to be a district manager for Taco Bell, saying they had solved the case," Nesbitt said.

Dominguez told Nesbitt that he didn't pocket the money, but Nesbitt says no extra cash has showed up at the restaurant.

A night manager of the restaurant called police. "I'm sure she noticed all the extra receipts that were signed," Nesbitt said.

Dominguez was on probation for emergency telephone abuse when he was arrested on the credit card charges.

Nesbitt said Dominguez received three years probation in July 2003 for stealing a cell phone and then using it about a dozen times to call in fake emergencies to 911.

Sorry, Wrong Van

ELKHART, Ind. (AP) — A woman heading home from a store was surprised to find a man accusing her of stealing his van.

The 71-year-old woman was leaving Wal-Mart about 9 p.m. Dec. 18 with her great-nieces and great-nephews when a man walked in front of her van, forcing her to stop.

The man then walked to the driver's side, where the woman's great-nephew had rolled down a window.

"He had his body halfway through the window saying, 'You got my car! You got my car!' she told The Truth newspaper.

"He was really trying to reach and grab me," she said. "He said, 'Gimme my car! You stole my car!'"

The woman started honking her horn.

"The kids were screaming something terrible," she said. "I started driving with him still hanging onto the car. He fell off somewhere along [the way]."

The honking got the attention of police Cpl. Susan Lambright, who was working a security shift in the store.

A Wal-Mart employee spotted the man getting into another van and leaving the parking lot. The officer stopped the driver, a 23-year-old man, nearby and arrested him on a misdemeanor charge of driving without a license.

The man told police he thought the woman and children, ages 4 to 12, were stealing the van he had driven to the store.

As it turns out, the man did not have permission to be in that van either, but the owner declined to press charges, Lambright said.

"It was the same [color]. That's about it, though," as far as similarities, Lambright said.

Compiled by's Paul Wagenseil.

Got a good "Out There" story in your hometown? We'd like to know about it. Send an e-mail, with a Web link (we need to authenticate these things), to