What's the difference between Jon Stewart and a cat? A cat prefers to lick its own butt. But Jon Stewart has Jim Cramer.

Now, I'm not a Cramer fan. Sure, he makes idiotic predictions, but if you're taking his advice, you're more of an idiot than he is.

But after his week-long feud with Stewart, Cramer was now as meek as a church mouse on "The Daily Show." Rather than tell Jon to screw himself, Cramer bent over and grabbed his ankles. Then he promised to do better, thanking Stewart for the privilege.

I don't get it. Why didn't Cramer fight back? Even more, how hard is it to say "no" and just stay home and preserve a little dignity? I mean, Jon is paid to take the piss out of people, but Cramer didn't have to drink it.

See, I've watched "The Daily Show" and realize it's basically the Colosseum, an amphitheater of apes trained to reward cynical behavior designed as righteousness.

The host never challenges audience assumptions. And like trained chimps, they clap even when he blows snot rockets into his coffee. When he's funny, they clap, but now they clap when he's not.

I'm sure Stewart thinks he's speaking truth to power, but really he's just speaking to a mirror. A mirror that claps. And this has turned him into America's angry nanny.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com