Today, I salute gays for a major civil rights victory: They forced some old lady to quit her job.
After Proposition 8 passed, angry gays discovered that Margie Christoffersen — who fills pitchers at El Coyote restaurant in Los Angeles — had given cash to the cause, which restricted the definition of marriage to include only straights. So they picketed her place of business with hilarious protest signs until the evil lady finally resigned.
Now, some might say this is nothing like Rosa Parks on the bus. But they're wrong. I mean, it takes guts to ruin some old lady's life just because she supports a bill based on her silly religious beliefs!
Seriously, if I was there, I would have thrown paint on her — a soft lilac shade, of course.
But why stop there? Now that you banished the old broad, get your ass down to those other parts of town where you don't brunch and give those blacks and Mexicans a piece of your mind. And, when you're done, why not the Muslims — who are not only against you marrying, but living too!
Look, I'm all for gay marriage, but just because some folks aren't as enlightened as you are, doesn't mean you can treat them like poop. No one is going to take you seriously until you protest more seriously. Blacks sat in restaurants where they weren't welcome and women protested outside the White House for days on end.
But instead of picketing a Cineplex playing a Tyler Perry movie, gays hit a joint in West Hollywood a few blocks from a busy gay bar.
And to that I say: Comer con gusto!