Madonna's No Woodstock Girl

Madonna: No Woodstock Girl | Scary Movie On Track to $100 Mil | Broadway News

If you ever wondered whether or not Madonna would have been a welcome performer at Woodstock, here’s the answer: No.

Madonna performed over the weekend at the Coachella Valley Music Festival in California, a famously '60s-like music event where fans and performers mingle and everyone has a good time.

Does this even sound like something our Madonna should have gotten herself involved in? Madonna? With the Brit accent, the facelifts and the servants?

And so it was that Madonna was roundly booed by the Coachella audience after showing up late on stage in a small tent. She then performed only six songs really that no one has much affection for — "Hung Up," "Get Together," "I Love New York," "Ray of Light (2006 Version)," "Let It Will Be (Paper Faces Mix)," and "Everybody (2005 Version)."

She slagged George Bush in one of them, but that’s to be expected. Don’t forget, she tossed him a live grenade in a video a couple of years ago.

Funny: Madonna doesn’t like Bush, but she could learn a few things from him about working a crowd.

For one thing, I’m told that Madonna’s team — unlike the other acts — printed special name tags for security and kept everyone away from her tent. The private backstage passes “ruined the communal feeling of the event,” says a source.

How Madonna got into Coachella is an interesting story, considering that on the day she appeared — Sunday — the other main acts were cutting-edge types like Tool, Massive Attack and the Yeah Yeah Yeahs.

On Saturday, the acts included Devendra Barnhart, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah and Sigur Ros. In other words, this ain’t no foolin’ around.

But one observer claims that Paul Tollett from Golden Voice, which books the shows, turned down previous offers from Madonna’s team for her to play there.

“It was only after a personal call from Madonna that Paul decided to put her on,” says the insider. “She pleaded with him, and pulled out the dance music card, telling him how much it would mean to her.”

And the impact has been felt on the Coachella message board, where Madonna’s reviews from the fans have been decidedly negative.

As one wrote: “Anyone that shows up wearing $10,000 fake eyelashes to an arts festival, you know is mocking you already. But on the brightside, I was gonna decide on buying tix to her tour based on her performance sunday [sic]. Thanx Madonna for saving me cash.”

Scary Movie On Track to $100 Mil

“Scary Movie 4” is on track now to make $100 million — and that will be some achievement for the fledgling Weinstein Company.

The new studio only began operations last October, after being pared away from its Miramax name, library and many projects.

But smartly, Bob and Harvey Weinstein got to keep the Dimension name and rights to make sequels out of certain of their hit films during the Miramax days. "Scary Movie" was a franchise they were wise to hold on to.

In its third weekend, "Scary Movie 4" took in $7.8 million, bringing its total domestic take to $78 million. This is already pretty good, considering the budget was only $45 million. The $100 million target is extremely attainable at this point.

Meantime, Universal’s “United 93” finished in second place with $11.4 million, despite being in only 1,795 theaters. The biggest releases last weekend were in twice as many venues. All of that means that “United 93” was really No. 1, and could possibly turn into a breakout hit if it holds up this weekend.

And yes, that was indeed Michael Moore ducked down into a front row seat Sunday night for Chris Hegedus and Nick Doob’s “Al Franken: God Spoke” at the Tribeca Film Festival.

Jane Rosenthal trooped uptown to introduce this hilarious documentary at Sony Lincoln Square, and “Monsoon Wedding” director Mira Nair stopped by to congratulate her friends on a job well done.

'Chaperone': Drowsy With Success

What a great feeling, to be at a Broadway opening night where people aren’t running for exits.

“The Drowsy Chaperone,” which opened last night to thunderous ovations, is such a gem that it could be a dark horse winner and knock out “Jersey Boys” for the Tony Award for Best Musical.

We didn’t know what would happen, since Whoopi Goldberg didn’t show, as promised.

But Liza Minnelli did — she was in her cups, as they used to say, glowing at the Tavern on the Green after party as she smoked outside with two pals having a gay old time.

I asked her about a recent broken toe incident, but she wasn’t too interested in recalling her latest misadventure.

I never did get to ask her what she thought of Beth Leavel, who plays the title character in the show and seemed to be spoofing Minnelli in her portrayal.

Some other celebs, like “L.A. Law” couple Jill Eikenberry and Michael Tucker, were far more gracious.

Michael Cerveris, of “Sweeney Todd” fame, brought Nellie Hooper from “Threepenny Opera," and Tony-winner Brian Stokes Mitchell brought his wife to kick back before starting a big promo tour for his new album.

Another “Opera” guest was former “Saturday Night Live” star Ana Gasteyer who, like us, showed up an hour early by mistake.

"The Drowsy Chaperone" is a rather short musical, but bursting at the seams with original ideas, fresh music, buoyant acting, tremendous sets and costumes.

You will not recognize any names, except for possibly Georgia Engel, who so wonderfully played Georgette on “The Mary Tyler Moore Show.” She is a shoo-in for a Best Supporting Tony nominee.

The other actors are mostly from Canada, where this triumph was dreamt up by composer Lisa Lambert a few years ago as a wedding gift for her pal Bob Martin.

Now the show, which went from Toronto to Los Angeles and is now here in a more expanded form, features Martin himself in the role of narrator. He and actor Don McKellar wrote the book (if you don’t know McKellar, he did a movie I love call “Last Night” which plays on cable from time to time).

How to explain? “The Drowsy Chaperone” is a send-up or spoof of a great '30s musical that is little known.

Martin, who doesn’t sing but is a nimble comic, lures us in as the show unfolds, in his mind and in his small New York apartment living room.

Tony-winning Sutton Foster is the ingénue, Janet van de Graaffe (which is the real-life name of Bob Martin’s wife), and Troy Britton Johnson is her intended husband.

Danny Burstein nearly steals the entire show — and that ain’t easy — as the comic foil Adolpho, and you must not miss the big, warm voice of Kecia Lewis-Evans as “The Aviatrix,” or, Martin observes, “what we now call a lesbian.”

The question now is whether “Chaperone” will knock off the great Frankie Valli musical “Jersey Boys” and win the Tony. I wish they could each get something. But it will make Tony night — June 11 — more interesting with two contenders that actually deserve the kudos fighting it out.

Much as I love “Jersey Boys,” a good case can be made that “Chaperone” is completely original from beginning to end. All I know is, I already want to see it again.