So recently, Jay Leno had the "Jersey Shore" cast on a quiz bowl and the audience, writhing in their own perceived superiority, chortled at their various mistakes.
But I ask: Who's dumber: The "Jersey Shore" cast or those who call the "Jersey Shore" cast dumb?
The answer is the latter, which I think means "paddlefish."
First off, did these kids ever say they were members of Mensa? Of course not; only pompous jerks who tell you they're in Mensa are in Mensa.
Also, it's not like these kids ever showed up in front of the cameras, clutching their diplomas from Cornell's agricultural college, like an MSNBC host, whose name rhymes with Bolbermann.
No, they're only proud of their abs. The fact that they're honest about their shallowness already puts them on an intellectual plain higher than Gwyneth Paltrow and another Gwyneth Paltrow combined.
Look, I admit they're all knuckleheads and the random violence is gross. It's disgusting. But we know it's disgusting.
However, what's more dangerous is the crap that's disgusting, but passes itself off as enlightening. I'm not just referring to "The View," but also the climate change conference and any CNN special on race.
Why obsess over some punks slathered in hair gel when you've got Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid with their hands on the wheel?
In sum: Lay off the dumb. There's more idiocy in "The Situation Room," than there is in The Situation's abs. Yeah, Leno made the Jersey folk look silly on his show, but did you see Wolf Blitzer tank on "Jeopardy"? He did that all by himself.
And if you disagree with me, you're probably a racist homophobe.