Hugo Chavez Is Sean Penn

The other day a FOX News producer approached Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez and asked him a simple question: Why do you remain pals with that Iranian ass-hat who continues to deny the Holocaust?

Roll tape, tapes that roll:


VENEZUELAN PRESIDENT HUGO CHAVEZ (through translator): Where do you come from?

FOX PRODUCER: I work for FOX News.


CHAVEZ: I love when I see people from FOX News. You know how Sean Penn calls you? The stupid people from FOX News. That's the way they call you. Not you, of course, not you. Of course not.


Wow, he really is adorable!

Anyway, he didn't stop there. When pressed again, Hugo goes off like something that goes off:


CHAVEZ: Have you seen the images from Iraq? How the Americans are killing people in Iraq?

FOX PRODUCER: We can talk about Iraq…

CHAVEZ: But I mean, have you seen those? And your channel, your network, hides everything. And your President Bush — you supported him and you are criticizing Obama because he is black.


CHAVEZ: But you supported — that's why your mind is filled with poison.


You really do want to hug him… until he stops breathing.

Rather than answer a simple question, Hugo, mentions Sean Penn, calls FOX News names and then launches into an attack on America — spewing venom on Iraq, Bush and of course, all the racists who just elected Barack Obama.

And there, it dawned on me: The first thing "Hugo" did was bring up Sean Penn and then he vomits the exact same talking points you'd expect from Sean Penn.

My God — it must be — it is: Sean Penn.

I am convinced that what we just saw wasn't actually the real Venezuelan president, but the American actor, in heavy makeup and prosthetics, preparing for the role of his lifetime! I think it's for the upcoming film, "I Am Hugo," which I'm told is a lot like "I Am Sam," but in Spanish.

Seriously, it makes sense: Celebrities cozying up to left-wing dictators — whether it be Chavez, Castro or Ho Chi Minh — is old news. It's time to kick it up a notch and that's what Penn is doing.

Also, I bet it gets him free hookers in Caracas.

And if you disagree with me, then you're probably a racist Dave Matthew's fan.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: