Honk if You're Horn-ey

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Behold the mighty roar of my … wimpmobile?

Floridian Matt Heller is in the business of making some noise.

Heller founded Hornblasters, a company that specializes in installing train-style, earth-rattling, bell-ringing horns on any kind of vehicle — from Hummer to Hyundai, The Tampa Tribune reports.

To put a little perspective on Heller’s various offerings of auditory assault: His loudest horn is … well … louder than the sound of a jet taking off — from 80 feet away.

Apparently, when honking one of Heller’s hellish horns, hilarity ensues.

Heller has taken to making hidden-camera videos of unsuspecting victims of his Herculean honking machines startled out of their wits by the sound, and making them available on Hornblasters.com.

What could be better than blasting your friends into next week at the touch of a button?

Picking up women with a nice dose of eardrum damage!

Last summer, while cruising the Cocoa Beach area on an afternoon drive, Heller and his horn-happy cronies blasted a group of cheerleaders — and they enjoyed it.

“We sounded our horns one after the other. They screamed; some of them jumped up. They were real scared and angry for a minute, then they all started laughing and came over to meet us,” Pete Martinez, a friend of Heller, said.

While cops argue the uber-horns could cause an accident, Heller & Co. insist that they’re just having fun.

I'm Sure She Was Really Impressed

ST. AUGUSTINE, Fla. (AP) — A man showing off his OnStar system in his Cadillac Escalade found out the system worked too well.

Ralph A. Gomez, 38, was being held Wednesday on $15,000 bond on charges of possession of an illegal narcotic within 1,000 feet of a church and possession of drug paraphernalia.

Gomez was showing off his OnStar system to his girlfriend, but the volume was set so low that he couldn't hear the OnStar operator. OnStar comes installed in many new General Motors vehicles and allows a customer to contact an OnStar representative in an emergency or to get directions. If there is no response, OnStar contacts police.

That's what happened with Gomez on Friday night, Tom Clements, a spokesman for the St. Augustine Police Department, said Wednesday.

When police located Gomez' car, they determined there was no problem. But Clements said cocaine was clearly visible on the car's center console.

In addition to seizing $1,900 in the case, the Cadillac equipped with the OnStar system was also seized, Clements said.

There was no information available from Clements or the jail on whether Gomez has a lawyer.

Thanks to Out There readers Dawn N., Dave S. and Woody J.

The Adventures of Rocky and Interoptikk Brillehjoernet

OSLO, Norway (AP) — A small Norwegian town was quickly running out of moose after offering to name each animal after its sponsor in a research project.

"We have four or five left, but they are going fast," said Helge Sines, head of forestry for Vegaarshei township in southern Norway.

Township wildlife officials wanted to put radio tracking collars on 25 moose, so they could study their movements for two years. But the project was too expensive, at more than 400,000 kroner ($60,000).

So they enlisted the moose themselves to do a little fundraising.

For a 5,000 kroner ($740) donation, the team will name a moose for a sponsoring company, organization or individual.

"It doesn't cover the amount per animal, but without the goodwill of these sponsors, we wouldn't have been able to go ahead," Sines told The Associated Press.

So far, the sponsors have been companies, leaving the moose with names like Telenor, the Norwegian telecommunications group, and Interoptikk Brillehjoernet, an opticians' chain.

"We never intended to go out and promote this but the sponsorship project was mentioned in one line, one subordinate clause, on the town's home page and things took off," Sines said.

"We sold five moose this morning alone," he said.

As part of the deal, moose sponsors can track their namesake on the Internet, although personal meetings are not on the agenda.

"We leave the moose in peace," said Sines. "We do not take people to visit the moose. We don't want to do anything to stress them."

The project intends to track moose movements, summer and winter pastures, grazing preferences, estimated death rates, and to research how to reduce the risk of collisions between moose and trains or motor vehicles.

It's Absurd! It's Inane! It's 'Super Colon'!

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) — You could call it a gutsy attraction.

The group behind National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month every March has brought its 20-foot, walk-through "Super Colon" to Columbus, one stop on a tour of four cities.

The red, inflated tube has been set up inside a white tent in front of the downtown North Market. The Cancer Research and Prevention Foundation says it's meant to remind visitors of the dangers of colorectal cancer and other ailments that strike the lower digestive tract.

But naturally, the giant colon also inspires wisecracks. One tourist from Michigan wondered if you'd move through it faster if you ate chocolate.

Check Out My Sweet Profile on Dunderhead.com

Stupid is as stupid does, at least when it comes to a Pennsylvania high school student.

This might be going out on a limb — but maybe, just maybe one should try not to brag about one’s penchant for pot and/or illegal weaponry … on the Internet … next to a detailed personal profile … with a picture of oneself holding said contraband.

“We cannot have kids posing with drugs on Web sites, it would be irresponsible not to check it out,” said Fred Harran, Deputy Director of the Bensalem Police told Philadelphia’s CBS 3 News.

While it’s not unusual for youngsters to boast about their party-related escapades and general badness on the net, this kid took it a little further.

Pictures included on his profile showed him posed with a veritable cornucopia of drugs and a gun, while saying he made $250,000 by selling them.

“One of our detectives saw this guy and thought he seemed a little bit more real than the next kid and it was enough to launch an investigation,” Harran said.

The teen has since been charged with possession.

Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.

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