Grrr! When You Gotta Go, Don't Go Just Anywhere

Every night I have to walk over the commuter train tracks on a breezeway.

And every night I have to hold my nose as I walk through, because the pungent odor of human urine is too much to take in this mostly closed-off tunnel.

Why in the world do people relieve themselves in places like this? They do it in elevators. They do it in tunnels leading from the parking lot to the sports arena. They do it on subway tracks and in bus depots.

They do it wherever they think they can get away with it.

And making public toilets ubiquitous only helps so much. Even when there are sufficient facilities, like port-a-potties or Mr. Bobs or those luxurious trailer models, people still can't tell the difference between a urinal and the floor.

Even public restrooms are disgusting. Hardly any amount of cleaning is enough to keep up with the number of people who just don't give a damn, and spray the urinal, or the toilet seat, or the floor.

I wonder if these rogue urinators urinate on themselves? I bet if you watched people come out of the bathrooms you'd know the culprits, because there would be streak marks down their legs and puddles on the tops of their shoes.

And then there are the people who don't flush the toilet after they're done.

There's nothing worse than having to stalk from stall to stall in search of one that isn't disgusting. Maybe that's why people urinate all over the place. Because the proper receptacles are full of you know what!

People always Grrr the cell phone talkers in the bathrooms or the men who carry newspapers through the office on their way to the facilities. Incidentally, the first guy who does this should leave the paper in the stall for the next guy.

Just a helpful hint there.

People even Grrr when someone decides to use the middle urinal instead of one of the corner units, forcing you to have to (gasp!) stand next to someone who's doing the same thing you are.

But what really Grrrs me is the sheer pigness of our fellow man. Who are these people who choose to go wherever they damn well please? Who do you think raised these folks, wolves?

But even wolves find relatively acceptable places to relieve themselves. Look, we all get caught without a bathroom from time to time. But most of us try to find the least conspicuous place to take care of business.

Look for a tree, if you must. But don't do it in the middle of some breezeway where no rain or other elements can wash your beer-filled bladder remains away. Use some common sense and have some common courtesy, people.

You know how those liquor commercials suggest we "drink responsibly" at the end of each ad? Perhaps they should suggest we "pee responsibly."


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