More people are killed by deer in Florida than alligators.
So why aren't we seeing "Attack of the Killer Deer" stories on our Web sites, news channels and local news broadcasts?
Somebody feed me to the gators, please, and I don't mean the NCAA basketball champions, either. Hear that scream in the distance? That's me reacting to yet another live shot about alligators.
Sure, three people are dead and I feel sad. After all, joggers should be safe when running next to gator-infested waters, shouldn't they?
Maybe illusionist David Blaine, for his next stunt, can try to set the record for most survivals of alligator attacks by going to live in the Florida Everglades with no mosquito nets or insect repellent. I bet ABC would pay him a few million for the rights to broadcast that.
I don't know what's more annoying: stories about when alligator attacks, David Blaine, another item about Katie Couric taking over the "CBS Evening News" or how current anchor Bob Schieffer is getting the royal shaft.
Stupid and Contagious
Since we're already in the middle of May, perhaps you're looking for the perfect book for the beach or your upcoming vacation. I found it.
"Stupid and Contagious" by Caprice Crane is one of the funniest books I've picked up in a long time. Crane manages to cram a ton of Grrrs from a man's (Brady) and woman's (Heaven) perspective into one fun-filled book that is truly hard to put down.
I can't count how many times I laughed out loud on my commuter train, dodging stares from the iPodidiots whom I dared to wake up out of their shuffle trances.
New Yorkers Brady and Heaven become friends after Heaven moves into the apartment next to Brady. Crane creates separate narratives for both characters, who tell their tales from their own points of view.
This structure gives one the impression of reading dozens of little vignettes that come together nicely for one strong novel.
Imagine what would happen if "Sex and the City" met "Entourage," and you've got a pretty good idea of "Stupid and Contagious."
There's my PSA for the month.
VIDEO: Watch Mike's "Real Deal" Web cast.