Grrr! Teri Hatcher Abused

"Desperate Housewife" Teri Hatcher is in a lose-lose situation after coming out with the revelation that she was sexually abused by her uncle when she was young.

Yes, it was brave of her to confront the animal who abused her, and at least one other girl who committed suicide — and as a result this monster is in jail for 14 years.

For that we say thank you, Ms. Hatcher.

But the fact that this story comes out in a cover story for Vanity Fair after its best-selling Oscar issue ever, featuring nude photos of Scarlet Johansson and Keira Knightley, is a bit disingenuous, to say the least.

Hatcher was quoted in the article saying that she had thought about coming out with her story before but didn't want it to be "tabloid" fodder.

OK ... but it's all right to be Vanity Fair fodder?

Hatcher did what she had to do in order to put her evil uncle away, however, her story didn't need to be told to a mass audience. Isn't there anything sacred to celebrities? Is there not one thing they'd like to keep to themselves?

For my money, this would be one of those times.

Hatcher was worried that if she came out with her story before "Desperate Housewives" made her a household name, then she'd be subject to criticism from people thinking she was using that horrible experience for some much-needed publicity.

And she's right. But again, she's in a lose-lose situation.

Why do celebrities do this?

As if Lindsay Lohan doesn't get enough negative exposure from her troubled father, she has to confess to dabbling in drugs "a little" and battling bulimia.

(Lohan later denied having bulimia and said, "The words that I gave to the writer for Vanity Fair were misused and misconstrued, and I'm appalled with the way it was done." Vanity Fair stood by its story.)

Naveen Andrews of "Lost" fame came out a few months ago with a "shocking" story about his drug addiction, as so many others go the "rehab" route when things aren't looking good.

Jane Fonda revealed in her book the sexual perversions of her first husband and how emotionally distant her famous father was toward her. Fran "The Nanny" Drescher was raped by thugs.

On the other hand, the only reason we know about Robert Downey Jr.'s drug problems is because a court ordered him into rehab. Downey Jr. didn't voluntarily enter a clinic for a shot in the publicity arm.

I know that these horrible experiences make people who they are. It makes them stronger and perhaps wiser. But we all know someone who suffered something horrible in their lives. The difference is, they're not celebrities, so no magazines are asking them about it.

I for one don't want to hear any more personal junk from celebrities. I don't want to hear about their politics, and I don't want to hear about their sex lives or their vices. I don't care if Tom Cruise is gay or straight. I don't care that Ellen DeGeneres is dating Portia de Rossi, or if Sean Penn is a Democrat.

What I chiefly want to know about celebrities is this: are you making a movie that I want to see? Are you in a television show that I want to record on my DVR, and is your next CD or single going to be catchy?

When I interview celebrities, I want to know about the work, the message of the film and how they go about choosing or writing those scripts.

While there was once a time when having a celebrity come out with postpartum depression like Brooke Shields, or child molestation like Hatcher, or drug use like Andrews, or HIV like Magic Johnson, in order for us "little people" to understand the dangers in the world, it's been a long time since we've been that innocent.

The reminders from celebrities are more than patronizing. They are insulting.

Click Here for Your Grrrs

Respond to Mike | Grrr! Lexicon

VIDEO: Watch Mike's "Real Deal" web cast.