Grrr! Paris Hilton: Movie Star

Heir-head Paris Hilton has just signed with another major Hollywood talent agency.

The move to Endeavor, a firm that reps such stars as Adam Sandler and Aisha Tyler (search), will help the famous floozy expand her empire to the realm of movies.

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This is a major Grrr! on several levels.

For the thousands and thousands of "Stupid Lit'l Dreamers" who toil away in off-Broadway and regional theater, who major in drama at accredited universities, who audition day in and day out for commercials or a measly one-line part on "24" or "The Sopranos," hoping to get noticed — here's a little advice that sadly will help you and yours in the future — marry rich.

Why not? Isn't it what Paris and Nicky's mother Kathy, a failed actress in her own right, did?

And now with the success her wedded money bought her daughter Paris, Kathy is said to have her own reality show, "The Good Life," in the works for NBC.

According to, "The Good Life" will feature 10 young women being taught how to fit in to "high society" by the elder Hilton — in the Hilton family's flagship Waldor-Astoria Hotel in New York City. Contestants who don't meet up to Hilton's standards get booted from the show.

The concept is laughable. Paris Hilton's mother teaching women how to behave? Ha!

Anyway, see what I mean about marrying rich?

So if you're out there struggling to make your dream come true, concentrate all that effort on landing a rich woman or a rich man. Have kids. Buy them fame. And in the time it might have taken you to earn fame and fortune with a lot of hard work on your own, you'll simply ride the coattails of your famous offspring.

You know, when a smart and hilarious TV show like "Arrested Development" (search) is in danger of being cancelled because not enough people watch it, then we really do deserve Paris Hilton and all of her ilk.

And to think that "The Simple Life" probably would have been cancelled, too, if not for the Paris porn video — the most profitable porn video in history, by the way — which coincidentally just happened to come out the same week Paris and Nicole Richie's reality show debuted.

Which reminds me, porn star Jenna Jameson has a reality show coming up, too. But it will fail, and here's why — Jenna's too honest about who she is. Who wants that?

Lie to us (Michael Moore), fool us into thinking you have talent (Paris Hilton), take steroids and excel (any number of pro athletes), lip-synch (Ashlee Simpson), make up stories in The New York Times (Jayson Blair), or plant a finger in a bowl of Wendy's chili — and we'll eat it all up and make you more rich and more famous.


Stupid Lit'l Dreamer

And speaking of that bowl of chili, this week's SLD mention goes out to the corporate offices of Wendy's and the San Jose, Calif.-area franchise restaurants for weathering a rough storm, allegedly at the hands of a con artist.

Wendy's (search) suffered a major hit to its image because someone tried to take the easy route to fortune. A Nevada woman named Anna Ayala has been charged with attempted grand larceny related to this case. If she's found guilty, here's hoping the courts can teach this woman a lesson — and find the person who is missing a finger.

Wendy's lost $1 million a day since the finger story broke. Hard-working Americans lost their jobs as a result of layoffs stemming from the loss of business. If Ayala is guilty, here's hoping they make an example out of her so the next person looking for a quick buck thinks twice before pointing a "finger."

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Mike Straka is the director of operations and special projects for, and covers entertainment and features on the Sunday program "FOX Magazine."

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