Grrr! Martha Stewart: Oblivion of the Month

February's Oblivion of the Month achievement goes to none other than the domestic diva herself, Martha Stewart.

In an interview with Newsweek, Stewart suggested that her version of the NBC reality show "The Apprentice" was to begin with her firing Donald Trump, thus making her the reigning queen of the boardroom. She also went on to say that airing two versions of "The Apprentice" resulted in her poor showing in the ratings.

While series creator Mark Burnett admits that the notion of firing The Donald was discussed, it was probably as quickly dismissed. But true to form, Martha Stewart has a tendency to see things her way, and her way of seeing things always seems to involve something going, well, her way.

In a biting rebuttal, Trump sent this letter to Stewart, and every word is worth reprinting.

Dear Martha: It's about time you started taking responsibility for your failed version of The Apprentice. Your performance was terrible in that the show lacked mood, temperament and just about everything else a show needs for success. I knew it would fail as soon as I first saw it — and your low ratings bore me out.

Between your daughter, with her one word statements, your letter writing and, most importantly, your totally unconvincing demeanor, it never had a chance — much as your daytime show is not exactly setting records.

Despite this, I did nothing but positively promote you. Your only response to your failed show was that, "I thought that I was supposed to fire Donald Trump?" You knew this was not true — NBC would never fire me when The Apprentice was, for a good period of time, the #1 show on television and my recent finale, where I hired Randal, was the #2 show for the week, easily beating the competing finale of Amazing Race and others. Even Mark Burnett said, "Thank God that didn't happen" when asked about firing Donald Trump.

— And here's where it gets good...

Essentially, you made this firing up just as you made up your sell order of ImClone. The only difference is — that was more obvious. Putting your show on the air was a mistake for everybody — especially NBC. In any event, my great loyalty to you has gone totally unappreciated.

Sincerely, Donald J. Trump.

p.s. Be careful or I will do a syndicated daytime show, perhaps called The Boardroom, and further destroy the meager ratings you already have!

Wow. Now that's a letter, folks. What, did Martha Stewart actually think someone as tough as Donald Trump would let her get away with making such statements?

Now, love him or hate him — and millions of people do one or the other — Donald Trump is one of the most compelling and magnanimous personalities in the world today. While Stewart's integrity and public image has always been fodder for doubt and behind-the-scenes snickering, we always knew where we stood when it came to Trump.

These days, someone with the guts to stand up and tell it like it is, even if it is a bit self-serving, deserves our thanks and our respect.

Since Trump seems to be the only one out there willing to tell it like it is, here are some questions I'd like to pose to Donald Trump:

1. Do you think outsourcing control of our ports to a Dubai-based company is a good idea?
2. Who would you have picked to host the Oscars, if not Jon Stewart?
3. Do you think you were too hard on Martha in your letter?
4. Would you hire Katie Couric if you ran CBS News?
5. Would you vote for Hillary Clinton for president?
6. What would you do to help your network achieve better ratings for the Olympics?
7. Given your recent war of words with real estate queen Barbara Corcoran and now Stewart, do you have a problem with powerful women?

As for Stewart, I said in the beginning that her show was doomed to fail, and that overall it was a bad idea for her to come back into the spotlight so quickly. She should have followed the Marv Albert rule of damage control: take your lickings, go away for a year or so and then gradually make your way back into the fold.

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