The cocktail that is all the rage at watering holes in the posh California beach community of Malibu is a new twist on the Gibson.
Remixed in honor of Oscar-winning actor/director/producer Mel Gibson, it's guaranteed to ruin your career, your public image, all the hard work you've done to achieve success and all the goodwill your high-priced publicist has spent years working day and night for.
The Gibson is one part arrogance, one part paranoia, one part racism, one part Oblivionism, one part alcohol and two parts delusional — chased down with a nice tall glass of uh-oh!
But despite the celluloid pedigree of all its ingredients, it's box office poison.
What it will do, however, is shoot you to the top of Internet Movie Database (IMDB.com)'s Starmeter, which ranks celebrities based on how many searches users request of a name.
Gibson jumped from No. 162 up to No. 81 and still counting since his DUI arrest and subsequent fallout for anti-Semitic comments he made to the arresting deputy — as if being Jewish had anything to do with Gibson's partying with alcohol, a bevy of beauties (at least according to In Touch magazine photos) and engaging in alleged illegal activity (driving under the influence).
According to the arresting officer's police report, Gibson said "my life is f——-" when he was first pulled over.
Those words would be more prophetic than fact, since he hadn't already f——- his life. After all, he (thankfully) hadn't killed anybody with his "Lethal Weapon" (his car).
His life wasn't f——- until he went on a tirade against an entire race, even asking the deputy who pulled him over if he was Jewish.
I am not going to reprint Gibson's words. They're out there aplenty, and I'm sure if you're reading this column you're already well aware of what he said.
What's important here is not celebrity. It's not who's got more power than whom — the cops or the movie star.
What's important here is that after years of denying charges that he is a racist and an anti-Semite following his mega-blockbuster "The Passion of the Christ," Gibson pretty much admitted as much with his alcohol-fueled diatribe.
As we all know, the filters come down when one's cup runneth over with alcohol, and in that split second of "insanity" (his words), Gibson "f——-" himself.
And although the star seems contrite and sincere in a heartfelt statement, don't jump on that "poor Mel" bandwagon just yet.
Don't forget, his production company is called "Con Artist Productions," changed from ICON Productions (I guess Mel didn't think we got the double entendre the first time?)
And as far as entering rehab goes? Page one of the Hollywood Crisis Handbook. So last week!
But now I'm hearing "buzz" about how Gibson will be "f——-" even further since he's insulted the so-called Hollywood Jewish Mafia, and how they will shun him in all his future projects.
First off, there is no "Jewish Mafia" in Hollywood, and since any "mafia" is only concerned with raking in the bucks, they wouldn't shun such an earner. Gibson is a "made man" when it comes to bringing in money.
There is no "Jewish Mafia" as much as there is no "Gay Mafia" that ruined former "super-agent" Mike Ovitz, as he declared in a Vanity Fair article after he left CAA, the powerhouse agency he created, to run MCA's movie studio.
What these two have in common is that power and self-importance went to their heads, and reality hit like a ton of bricks.
Gibson will survive. And if he doesn't, at least, like Ovitz, he's got millions upon millions of dollars to console himself with.
This whole incident just goes to show that celebrities carry too much power. They should not wield such influence. The majority of them don't have the wherewithal to comprehend the kind of responsibility that comes with their influence.
Here's an idea. Make movies. Shut up. If you've got something you want to say, do it through your art.
Gibson is not perfect. None of us are.
The best we can do is try our hardest not to disappoint. Ourselves. Our families. Our bosses, and in the case of Gibson, his fans.
As for me, I come up short many times, and I'm sure all of you reading do too. I'd like to be a better father, a better husband, a better employee, a better leader and a better son. At times, the best of me is elusive.
But that is the challenge God has put forth, isn't it? He gives us plenty of rope, and it's in our power to use it to climb to new heights every day, or to figuratively hang ourselves with.
We all fail from time to time. The trick is to learn from those failures, and I don't mean the "ooh, I got caught and I'm going to make it right" kind of lessons either. Being conciliatory is easy once you're caught.
No, the trick is to make things better when no one is watching, when no one has caught you at your worst. If you can make it right without the shame, then you're on your way.