An EPA memo has just surfaced and apparently it tells the White House that any effort to regulate the output of carbon dioxide will screw an already screwed-up economic climate.

Basically, if the economy's an old lady, instead of helping her across the street, we'd be pushing her in front of a train.

Now, I should apologize, this has to be the 50th Greg-alogue I've done on global warming. It's basically the little black dress of "Red Eye" — so I'm just as sick of the topic as you are. But it gripes me that despite the lack of evidence showing that curbing these gases will do anything to help the environment, it doesn't matter.

I guess, I give up.

See, arguing about global warming is like arguing about religion: You will never change the mind of a true believer and if you're a skeptic, you're seen as a soulless heathen. But in a way, the global warming religion is worse, because at least the pope isn't demanding we damage our economy to sustain his belief in a higher power.

So, despite this memo, we're still going ahead with the "American Clean Energy and Security Act" — a crazy bill that would for the first time place a limit on these heat-trapping gases. To me, this is the equivalent of putting limits on fairy dust, because we believe it might harm unicorns — when, really, everyone knows unicorns need fairy dust to maintain the luster of their gorgeous horns.

(You can read more about this fact in this month's Journal of Unicorn Science — I'm actually on the cover, in a shorty robe, petting one of my many horned figurines.)

And if you disagree with me, then you sir are worse than Hitler.

Greg Gutfeld hosts "Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld" weekdays at 3 a.m. ET. Send your comments to: redeye@foxnews.com