So starting Thursday, one-tenth of NYPD cops will be carrying Tasers — the notorious, but delightful electric weapons that can paralyze people from up to 30 feet away. The cops have had them for over 20 years, but kept them in their cars because they're so heavy.
But now they're going to be added to the cops' already bulky waistband, making their utility belts as helpful in pursuit as Stephen Hawking's wheelchair.
The reason for this new option? Bureaucratic concerns over the use of guns.
Guns generally stop criminals dead and we know how politically inconvenient that can be, especially for the criminal. If you're shot and killed, you can't vote or march in a parade — and that sucks.
But here's the funny part: Human rights groups are sternly warning that Tasers are linked to hundreds of deaths — you know, as opposed to guns.
This is why, when it comes to your own human rights, the last people you should trust are human rights groups. They are not interested in your safety, but only for the creeps who are interested in violating yours.
Fact is, if Amnesty International had its way the police would be armed with nothing more than a dusting feather and a blue cap — the kind the United Nations wears when they're banging starving teens in refugee camps.
My suggestion: Human rights advocates should set up a volunteer watch and only handle calls dealing with emotionally disturbed men bearing knives. Armed only with hugs.
And if you disagree with me, you were probably dropped as a child.