NEW YORK – Venus gold belt? Check.
Self-proclaimed "Amazing Goddess"? Check.
Calling Oprah for help because you got arrested for prostitution after posing in your skivvies with a likeness of a fairy on the Internet? Check, check and check.
Cops in Penacook, N.H., may have gotten their goddess, but she’s ready to call in the big guns (by guns, of course, we mean Oprah Winfrey).
Suzan Belanger, 38, was arrested on prostitution charges after police say she was getting busy in exchange for bucks at her downtown “healing” business, Amazing Alternatives, The Concord Monitor reports.
But Belanger says she … uh … got that feeling to practice sexual healing after God and fairies enlisted her services, and plans to take her fight to the courts — and to the queen bee of daytime TV.
"I did this as a healer, not a prostitute," she said. "I plan to take this sky high and show them how godly God can be."
Belanger says she’s been a healer since January, but just opened up her business in Penacook in March after God assured her it was legal.
She advertises her … um … assets by posing in lingerie on a Web site, trumpeting her talents as a certified Reiki healer, cosmologist, herbalist and sexual therapist.
Her site has no explicit mention of sex for sale, instead offering her services as a sorceress and “all around loving caring soul,” and her expertise in utilizing the "many alternative healing modalities under (her) gold Venus belt."
And there's more.
In addition to her healing, under-the-Venus-belt modalities, she has “fingers that will glide upon your flesh like playing heaven’s golden harp.”
Belanger also claims to have been raised by fairies and that her magical energy can be a “channel of heaven right here on earth.”
Police issued a press releasing documenting the arrest but have been unavailable for additional comment.
Thanks to Out There reader Kim B.
Fighting Unclean Toilet Culture, One Scary Urinal at a Time
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP) — Malaysia's largest city is planning to add a whimsical touch when its revamps its notoriously nasty public urinals.
According to a report in the New Straits Times, some of the possible urinal designs include ones in the shape of musical instruments and others with an open mouth replete with painted red lips and a pink tongue. Another design features a clown's mouth.
The Housing and Local Government Ministry has been crusading for months against smelly, dirty communal restrooms, urging Malaysians to keep public toilets clean.
Tourists and locals are often disgusted by the state of Malaysia's public bathrooms which often lack toilet paper, soap and sometimes even toilet seats.
A National Toilet Summit is planned for August at which Malaysians will be taught toilet etiquette and how to establish a clean toilet culture.
Dragging His Name Through the Mud
MEMPHIS, Tenn, (AP) — A man stuck up to his waist in a muddy riverbank for more than a day was rescued Monday after he was spotted by a passing fisherman.
Rescuers said Anthony Hawkes, 50, was hunting squirrels along the banks of Loosahatchie River north of Memphis on Sunday when he got stuck.
"He said he was praying throughout the night and waving at helicopters and airplanes hoping someone would spot him," Brent Perkins, spokesman for the Shelby County Fire Department, told The Commercial Appeal.
Hawkes was spotted Monday by fisherman Sowann Chea, who tried to pull the hunter from the mud. Chea called for help and off-duty Shelby County firefighter Jeremy Havlik was among the first to respond.
"In my 28 years with the department I've only seen an incident like this three times," said Shelby County Battalion Chief Robert Smith.
Smith said it took 11 firefighters about 30 minutes just to reach Hawkes, who was 2,000 feet off the road in a densely wooded area.
Hawkes was treated at the Regional Medical Center in Memphis but did not have any serious injuries and has since been released.
"He's just worn out," Havlik told WMC. "He hasn't eaten; he's been down there fighting that mud for 24 hours. He was physically exhausted."
Yarrrr ... The Poop Deck Needs a Scrubbin'
HONOLULU (AP) — No engine, no pilot, no problem.
A 33-foot sailboat abandoned by its owner in Costa Rica seven months ago after developing engine trouble apparently kept going — drifting thousands of miles on its own all the way to Hawaii.
The owner of the craft, the Chaton De Foi, was contacted by Coast Guard officials Tuesday and informed of the stunning discovery.
"He had to pull over because he [was] driving," Coast Guard spokeswoman Chief Petty Officer Marsha Delaney said. "He was very surprised and pleased."
The owner abandoned the sloop Dec. 2 after experiencing engine trouble and severe weather off Costa Rica. He was rescued by a passing boat.
The Chaton De Foi was spotted Monday floating by fishermen about three miles off Milolii Bay on the Big Island, the Hawaii County Fire Department said.
It's about 4,700 miles from Costa Rica to Hilo.
Photos show the white boat in good structural condition with its mast still intact, but the sails missing. The name of the ship was clearly visible and there were a few birds hitching a ride.
"What I heard from our pilot, it didn't appear to have holes or big damage, it just looked like it needs a really good scrubbing ... because of the bird poop," Delaney said.
Lady, You're Scaring Us
BISMARCK, N.D. (AP) — Thelma Morrison was the sixth child born, and she has six siblings. She now has six people in her own family.
Her birthday was Tuesday, June 6, 2006 (06/06/06). She turned 66.
The New Testament's book of Revelation says that the number 666 is the "number of the beast," which some Christians interpret as a reference to the arrival of the anti-Christ at the beginning of the apocalypse.
Morrison, who's training to be a computer support technician in Bismarck, doesn't think sixes are demonic. She looks at them as lucky.
"I'm very lucky. I'm healthy physically, mentally and emotionally," she said.
She said she found a four-leaf clover on Monday, and planned to buy six lottery tickets on her birthday.
Thanks to Out There reader Bill P.
Compiled by FOXNews.com's Taylor Timmins.
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