A Candidate With a Platform

And now the most intriguing two minutes in television, the latest from the wartime grapevine:

Boozefest Run Dry?
Grim tales are emerging about the behavior of those Palestinian gunmen during the five and half week siege at Bethlehem's Church of the Nativity. Four Greek Orthodox priests have told reporters that their captors swilled beer, wine and Johnnie Walker Scotch they discovered in a priest's living quarters. And they said the gunmen "ate like greedy monsters," while the clergy and Palestinian civilians went hungry. One church worker quoted in The Washington Times, said that the gunmen's boozy feast lasted only about two weeks before they exhausted supplies he said should have lasted six months.

Media Bashes Bush
Saudi Crown Prince Abdullah might have come away from his meeting with President Bush generally impressed with Mr. Bush. But the country's government controlled media continues to pound the president. Columnist Mohammad Al Rasheed of the Saudi Gazette wrote, "Yes, those being mowed down in Palestine are martyrs to their cause, their honor, their dignity, their land and their religion — the morons in Washington notwithstanding."  As for the president and Israeli Prime Minister Sharon, Al Rasheed charged Mr. Bush has "given the green light for a massacre to commence conducted by the most brutal criminal this side of Caligula."

Raising Politics to a New Level
Former Clinton Labor Secretary Robert Reich, who is 4 feet 10 inches tall and delights in making fun of his height, is running for governor of Massachusetts and is in hot water with some short people's groups. Reich likes to stand on a stepstool and joke that he's the only candidate with a platform. Cara Egan of Little People of America told the Boston Herald, "As a former Secretary of Labor, I'm surprised he'd do this."

Former Aide Wrestling for Signatures
Some New Jersey political activists are mounting a campaign to draft the legendary rock star Bruce — the boss — Springsteen to run for the Senate seat now held by Robert — the torch — Torricelli. The man behind the drive is a former aide to Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura, who's trying to round up the 800 signatures needed to put Springsteen on the ballot. Springsteen apparently has not been contacted. But a $20 contribution will get you a T-shirt emblazoned with this emblem, and the satisfaction of knowing that you've helped a former aide to the body draft the boss to run against the torch.