So How Come Brown's Faculty Isn't Voting to Shut Down the School?

By Tommy De SenoAttorney/Blogger, Justified

The only thing more common than complaints about university professors who hate America and teach fake history is the way these same professors often prove that the complaints against them are justified.

The faculty at Brown University, in an act of intellectual laziness and sanctimony toward political correctness voted last week to stop celebrating Columbus Day and replace it with "Fall Weekend."

The reason behind the Brown middle finger toward America is the deliberate distortion of Columbus' treatment of Indians to make him appear as a bad fellow. These complaints against Columbus are put forth in books by such exceedingly bad fellows as Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, whose credentials for hating America are as top drawer as the incurious preppies who teach at Brown.

Since academia has shut out the light of truth about Columbus, let's turn it back on and have a look at true history, shall we?

Detractors of Columbus fail to admit their allegations are based on claims made by a man named Francisco de Bobadilla. Who was de Bobadilla? The man who wanted Columbus' job as Governor of Hispaniola, that's who.

Exactly how trustworthy do you suppose was the word of the man who wanted Columbus ousted from his job so he could take it himself? Perhaps we should let Cornell's football coaches double as referees during the next Brown vs. Cornell game to find out.

The King and Queen of Spain sent de Bobadilla to the New World to check on Columbus because of complaints about him. The complaints were not about his treatment of Indians. They were complaints of Europeans who weren't getting enough of the kinds of things out of the New World as they wanted.

So de Bobadilla came and claimed to talk to people for a few short days. He did not speak to Columbus, who he immediately arrested on sight along with his brothers and sent them back to Spain. He then assumed the governorship.

I ask the Brown University intelligencia (oxymoron intended) how much of an investigation can one do in the year 1500 A.D. with no telephones and no motorized transportation? How many people can you actually talk to in a day in year 1500? And what of due process for Columbus? Have you nothing to say of conflict of interest? --- de Bobadilla both investigated Columbus and reaped the reward of his expulsion.

The King and Queen of Spain got wise to de Bobadilla's shenanigans, recalled him back to Spain and re-instated Columbus as admiral. On his way back to Spain, de Bobadilla's ship was destroyed in a hurricane and he drowned. Too bad. His trial would have given us a great historical record of his lies about Columbus, which in turn would have forced Zinn and Chomsky to read books instead of write them.

Some people way back then thought Columbus conjured up the hurricane to kill de Bobadilla, the same way Kanye West and the media thought George Bush conjured up Hurricane Katrina because he didn't care about black people.

So why does the faculty at Brown ignore that the "Columbus was mean" meme is the worst sourced story in world history? Because they WANT it to be true. Otherwise, what campus street-cred would a university professor have if he or she didn't hate America? Pledging allegiance to the flag is just so out of place when you're sipping latte and writing plaintiff poetry in a hippie-vegan coffee shop.

So we know lots of folks at Brown must hate America but why do they insult Italians? Brown knows the Italian-American community identifies with Columbus and the holiday. We Italians sponsor the parades. Oh and by the way , the Italian candidate didn't make it out of the presidential primary last year, so I guess we can still claim "oppressed minority" status. It's not very "Che Guevara" of the Brown faculty to insult a politically disenfranchised ethnic minority, now is it?

Actually, Brown has a tradition of insults to Italians. Brown's mascot is a snarling, fanged, long-nailed violent beast they call "Bruno." Bruno! While I've not heard one professor (or Italian) complain about it, you can bet if the animal were nicknamed "Redskin" or "Brave" the Brown faculty would have labeled it racist toward Indians and changed the name.

Since Brown wishes to distance itself from really bad people of antiquity, I suggest the faculty vote to close the university. Brown University was founded with slave money. Not just from guys who owned slaves, but from guys who owned slave ships!

Even the university's namesake family, the Browns, were slave traders. They infamously sent the slave ship Sally to Africa to trade rum for slaves, bring 4 teenage slaves home for "family use" and sell the rest in the West Indies. Of the 196 people they packed below deck -- because conditions were so awful -- 68 died on the voyage. Now THOSE were some despicable people, those Browns. Surely the P.C. Brown University faculty will vote to close the school immediately.

What argument will they use not to do that -- that there are other redeeming things about the university to celebrate? Certainly what is not a good enough reason to honor America will not be a good enough reason to honor Brown.

Although, in defense of Brown's faculty, I can understand the chip they carry on their collective shoulders. How tough is it being an Ivy League institution when your name isn't Princeton, Harvard or Yale? I imagine it's like being named Carter, but your name isn't Jimmy, it's Billy.

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