Gutfeld on 3D printed steaks

We at "The Five" love a good cooking segment.

It's the dinner hour, after all, and who doesn't love a delicious, mouthwatering steak!

Like one being lovingly prepared...by a 3D printer.

MARINES AT CAMP PENDLETON 3D-PRINT A CONCRETE BRIDGE IN 3 DAYS

Yeah - the chef is basically a fax machine with a nozzle.

Worse: this is a vegan steak – no, it’s not made of vegans - the ink from its cartridge is made from rice, peas and yes, seaweed.

Yea, seaweed. Scrumptelicious.

Who needs a cow when you can have a beefy ribeye made by the same thing that prints your expense reports?

The fake meat comes from a company in Spain. It takes 10 minutes to print, two minutes to cook … one minute to vomit.

I have a better idea. Instead of 3D printing a steak … 3D print a cow.

But – it’s better for the environment!

And as you know - that takes priority over real joy, great taste, or human need.

The makers claim that this thing not only looks like steak, but has the same nutritional value and consistency.

Meaning they're lying. Because …

If that thing looks like steak, I look like Brad Pitt.

If that looks like steak, I've got a pair of old flip flops that look like steak too.

Yeah, it’s a lie. A lie meant to help the planet. It’s like how they lie about other failed promises.

Solar power. Windmills. Socialism.

Things that we are told would work -- but can only exist as long as they leech off the actual good stuff.

I have a better idea. Instead of 3D printing a steak … 3D print a cow.

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Then kill it and make steaks from it.

I am really wasting my talents here.

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Adapted from Greg Gutfeld's monologue on "The Five" on March 4, 2019.