Gutfeld: The Biden admin is non-transparent 'to hide corruption, incompetence and worse'

I'm being the opposite of transparent to remind you of our current government. 

Have you noticed that everything they do these days that turns out bad, illegal or just infuriating always begins with a cover-up? 

Whether you were the victim of your boss's unwanted advances at your job in Albany, or had relatives die in a New York nursing home because of horrible decisions, your suspicions are either denied or mocked by the people in power. 

You might even be called a stupid son of a b---- by a guy who complete sentences as often as I dunk basketballs. 

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The list of deliberate non-transparency is endless, as is my hate for it. The origins of Wuhan? Well they mock the lab leak theory, even though the place was breeding more disease than the Playboy Mansion grotto. 

Gain-of-function never happened. Well, actually it did. And yeah, it was funded by whom? 

Long story — a reoccurring character named Anthony Fauci was involved. How about your risk of dying from COVID? I bet you don't even know your specific risk. 

Even after two-and-a-half years. And what happened to the rapid testing? How about a rapid answer? No chance. 

It's like asking a waitress where your drinks are after 20 minutes in a crowded restaurant. Yeah, I know you'll find out and circle back. 

Did the supply chain ever get fixed? 

Hell, even the looters in L.A. are complaining that the trains are late. And where's Mayor Pete? Is he still lactating? What's Kamala doing? Hell, what's Joe even doing, besides napping? 

So how are we dealing with China? Well, there's COVID, fentanyl, the Uyghurs. 

Do we know anything? What was in that letter to Putin? A stern warning? A mysterious white powder? Thirty bucks for a new shirt?

What about crime? Remember when those hate crime stats were everywhere, then they weren't? Remember when mug shots mattered, now they're gone? 

Then, as murders spiked, bureaucrats combined violent and nonviolent crimes into a lump sum to hide the rise in murder, as if people attacked on subway platforms were thinking, "Hey, at least this isn't mail fraud." 

It's more sleight-of-hand from the people who have blood on theirs. 

There's Hunter's laptop, of course, something so obviously real but buried like a murder victim in a crawl space. And if you brought it up, you were the one who couldn't tweet. 

Joe Biden's business dealings — harder to find than a clean meth pipe in Hunter's car at 2 a.m. 

And what was Joe's entire election strategy? Not being there — a human embodiment of opaqueness. The less you see of him, the better, because what you see is what you get, and what you get stinks figuratively, probably literally. 

How about voter ID? Tell you who's voting? What's wrong with that? Definitely makes an election less transparent. But the left calls it voter suppression. 

Yet I've never met someone who doesn't have an ID. Well, if you don't include the 230 illegals who just moved into my town in the middle of the night. 

Speaking of, check out this new leaked video that shows what we already knew that in darkness, the feds secretly flew illegal immigrants from the border to communities also kept in the dark about these trips. 

The tape shows local police confused and surprised by flights landing after the airport closed in breach of security. They're both literally and figuratively being kept in the dark. 

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Yep. Apparently, this flight was just one of many that moved migrants from places like McAllen, El Paso and Houston. 

It's a pleasant flight for these mystery passengers. Meanwhile, the rest of us get masked and groped like we're at a Halloween sex party. Not that I mind — it's been a while. 

And then suddenly the flight stopped when the public found out. 

So what do these examples have in common? Well, they were deliberately murky. 

It's not that they're just lying. They're simply making it harder to see what's going on. It's like the dirty lens on my balcony telescope. When I'm looking into the apartments across the way, hoping to see a hot couple making a panini naked — it sucks. 

Every single thing mentioned remains cloudy in order to hide corruption, incompetence and worse — hard-left ideology. 

In politics, they say sunlight is the best disinfectant. But to the Biden administration, sunlight has the same effect as it does on vampires. If they don't take cover from it quickly, they will die. 

Biden's opaqueness preserves him as an empty vessel ready for filling the contents provided by activists bent on the radical remake. 

And so everything has to be done out of sight. It's the opposite of magic. It's not, "Now you see it. Now you don't." 

It's, "You don't see it. Now you do, and there's nothing you can do about it. Now watch me pull these illegals out of the van." You can't just wave a wand, however, and make problems disappear. Or can you? 

MAGICIAN SKIT PLAYS

I have a really weird staff. The bottom line, the war these days is between shirts and skins — non-transparent and the transparent. 

No wonder all of these clandestine operators hated Trump so much. He did everything out in the open — and I mean everything. 

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I miss that. But Trump's openness forced them to play along, so they just decided to get rid of him even before day one. 

And really, that was the only thing transparent about them. 

This article is adapted from Greg Gutfeld's opening monologue on the January 27, 2022 edition of "Gutfeld!"