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Though many couples in happy, healthy relationships share nearly everything, one woman has ordered her husband to back away from her razor.
Last week, Olivia Williams took to Australian parenting advice website Kidspot to reveal just why her hubby’s newfound habit of borrowing her shower razor has rubbed her the wrong way.
“There are a few simple things in life I take for granted that I shouldn’t have to share with my husband,” Williams began. “That glorious feeling when you take off your heels… the sheer dexterity of taking off your bra at the end of a long day…”
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“And oh, you know... my [expletive] razor.”
Williams continued to dish that her husband, whom she did not name in the essay, recently “plucked up the courage” to borrow her blade while she was away for the weekend.
Likening her husband to a “younger, balder Lance Armstrong,” the author continued to divulge that she just couldn’t accept his hairless gams. (iStock)
“It was like he knew I was going to get myself into a lather about it. Probably because he’d mentioned in passing that he was considering it several times in the preceding months, and each time he said it, I got [upset] about it,” she opined.
Williams detailed that her “super fit” spouse, who works as a firefighter and fancies himself a hobby “cyclist,” would cite the move to his dedication to bicycling — though she remained “unconvinced” that his level of athleticism was worthy of shaving his legs, with her tool.
“This isn’t going to give him the physical edge,” Williams wrote. “He has no need to be shaving off milliseconds from his Saturday morning ride time with a newfound penchant for personal grooming.”
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Likening her husband to a “younger, balder Lance Armstrong,” the author continued to divulge that she just couldn’t accept his hairless gams.
“When I first noticed the reflection of the light on his Achilles, I bristled. I can’t quite say why it rubbed me so severely up the wrong way,” she mused. “I’m sure lots of women do not baulk at walking in on their husband in the shower, razor in one hand, Gillette Venus Satin Care foaming mousse in the other. But I’m not one of them.”
“Frankly, this raises a few questions for me. Will he be more attentive to his leg regrowth than me? Probably. Will his legs look better than mine? Definitely,” Williams worried. “And what about stubble?”
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In response, the woman presented her spouse with a stealthy compromise. Williams dished that she made a “deal” with her husband that if he kept up with shaving his legs, she would grow out her own body hair in protest.
According to the author, her husband wasn’t too keen on the offer — and that was the end of that.
“That’s what I call a close shave,” Williams concluded of the crisis averted.
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