The party may soon be over for one carousing boyfriend, after his girlfriend took to Reddit to lament his reported penchant for staying out all night – combatted by her new penalty of fining him $50 every time he returns home late – as impassioned Redditors urge the author to end the relationship.
On Jan. 13, Redditor Alwaysonthed---phone took to the social forum to voice her grievances and seek advice, in hopes of resolving the messy situation.
The author begins by detailing that the pair have lived together for two years and that she’s “naturally a homebody.” She reveals that she struggled with alcoholism at the start of their relationship, and stayed out “about five times a year” until 3 a.m. at a local bar, half a block away from their shared home in relation to her drinking problem. Alwaysonthed---phone claims that she wasn’t cheating on her partner during these late nights out, but that she would “irresponsibly” let her phone die during her nights out on the town — which concerned him.
“Frequently, I’d irresponsibly allow my phone to die while I continued drinking. Every time, my boyfriend expressed that he hated this. He hated the staying out late and he hated the dead phone. He told me it was unacceptable,” she wrote. “Eventually, it seemed like such a big deal to my boyfriend that I just sucked it up, stopped staying out late, and stopped drinking.”
Fast-forward to the present, and the author says that it’s been over a year since she “stayed out or really drank” — though the same doesn’t ring true for her boyfriend.
“My boyfriend got a new set of friends and now he stays out mostly every weekend until 3-5am. I don’t ask who’s he’s with or what he’s doing before he leaves. I don’t bother him while he’s out. I want him to have his space because humans deserve that,” original poster Alwaysonthed---phone states. “But, it still bothers me that he’s late only because of the double standard that he’s set in our relationship.”
“He says that he deserves the benefit of the doubt because “he’ll respond to a call or text at any time”. But, as I stated previously, I almost never call while he’s out unless it’s an emergency because we live together.”
The author further claims that though she’s tried to discuss why this is problematic with her boyfriend, he doesn’t’ understand where she is coming from and won’t hear her out, prompting her to get mercenary with a monetary penalty.
“So, tonight when he left at midnight, I made a proposition. If either one us aren’t home 4 a.m., we have to give the other $50 and no one can be angry,” Alwaysonthed---phone exclaims. “My reasoning is that he’s either going to tire of paying the $50 and come home on time or afford me the same level of understanding for occasionally staying out until the bars close.”
In the days since, the highly followed thread has sparked over 90 comments, as many Redditors urge the woman to reconsider the relationship altogether.
“Your lifestyles are not meshing. Congratulations on your recovery, but he is not in the same boat. You’re both on different cruises,” one well-wisher wrote. “Your issue is trying to fine him to change who/what he is. Either you’re both agreeing on how to handle nights out. Or one of you needs to make the decision to move on.”
“This $50 thing is a bad idea, it sounds like it's going to breed resentment, not actually encourage him to get home on time,” another commenter weighed in. “You don't seem to be able to properly communicate your feelings to each other, or he just doesn't care how you feel.”
“That depends on the relationship really... It could work for them,” another commenter countered. “But in the end its communication and respect for each other.”
Others, meanwhile, were less forgiving.
“Y’all are supposed to be adults. Charging someone $50 for staying out too late is laughable to me,” one critic clapped.
“That is a terrible idea. Have a grown up conversation,” another said.
The frenzy of mixed opinion soon inspired the original poster to reply back.
“Thanks for the input. I’m not playing a game of revenge. I’ve tried my best to talk to him about why I don’t appreciate this for a year,” she wrote. “I think that’s fair enough to say that I’ve been trying to reach out and be communicative.”