Sexpert Q&A: Selfish for Better Sex?

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Dear Yvonne, Can being selfish with your time improve your sex life? -Kip

Dear Kip, It's healthy for lovers not to be codependent upon one another, especially when it comes to capitalizing eachother's time. They're stronger together when they're still individuals vs. morphed into at 24/7 situation that causes both of them to be stagnate. When lovers can pursue their own interests and have their own downtime, that shows a comfort and security with the relationship that is attractive. Time spent on their own interests allows them to grow, inviting newness into the relationship.

Second, being too available is a turn off. If lovers spend even a day, for example, she's having cocktails with girlfriends at a sex toy party while he's at a horse race, apart, this acts like a hurdle, which can be a turn on. It's far short of Romeo and Juliet, but it has a similar effect.

Dr. Yvonne KristAn Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of

Sexuality Source Inc.

She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."