Sexpert Q&A: Defining Outercourse

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Dear Yvonne, Do you have any recommendations for people who want to wait a while before having sex or who, for moral/religious reasons, want to wait until they are married? Does this limit intimacy? Does this mean you have to date only other people who abstain? -Heather

Dear Heather, Outercourse is a term used for pleasuring possibilities that don't involve vaginal-penile or anal intercourse. Depending on a couple's definition of abstinence, these behaviors may include:

  • Sensual massage
  • Mutual masturbation
  • Erotic talk, for example, via phone or e-mail
  • Strip-teases
  • Kissing
  • Showering or bathing together
  • Sharing sexy fantasies
  • Engaging in role plays that don't involve intercourse
  • Dry sex (also known as "dry humping")

Dr. Yvonne KristAn Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of

Sexuality Source Inc.

She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."