Not Invited

Dear Yvonne, I've got a special someone who wants me to take her home for Christmas this year. I'm excited by the suggestion, but already stressing since it's tradition for me to spend Christmas Eve with my friends - and I kinda don't want her to crash on the little time I have with them. How should I handle not inviting her if that's what I end up doing?

-- Mike

Dear Mike, This is tricky territory and how it's received (rationally) is very dependent upon how far along the relationship has developed. If things have reached a level that she should be invited, but you don't want her there, then you need to re-evaluate the relationship, examining issues like fears you may have about being in such an intimate union.

If you tell her that you want to spend time with her, but aren't quite ready to spend Christmas Eve with her, she can't fault you for your honesty, even if she doesn't like it. Your one out may be that your friends are your family and the family has decided this year that other people's partners aren't invited. She may not take it as personally, but don't count on it.

Dr. Yvonne KristAn Fulbright is a sex educator, relationship expert, columnist and founder of Sexuality Source Inc. She is the author of several books including, "Touch Me There! A Hands-On Guide to Your Orgasmic Hot Spots."