Cheating is rarely something that "just happens."
Often, the feelings to wander out of a relationship accumulate over time — you just might not be aware that it’s on her mind.
But you can stop yourself from being played by paying more attention to some telltale signs. Here are some things to look out for if you suspect she’s considering taking her sexiness elsewhere.
She has a case of 'mentionitis'
Not to be confused with meningitis, mentionitis is when someone is afflicted with a certain person’s name that they just cannot stop themselves from dropping into conversation. It could be that your woman is constantly talking about Roger, her new partner at work, or Jordan, her personal trainer. No matter what the conversation with you entails, it seems this guy’s name is sure to pop up like an annoying Internet advertisement.
You: “Honey, we should go check out that new action flick.”
Her: “Jordan saw it and said it’s great!”
You: “I am so tired lately, I think I need to start taking vitamins.”
Her: “I was telling Jordan the same thing earlier.”
See? Don’t fret if you hear the name of one of her colleagues or friends every now and then -- that’s just paranoia on your part. But if you’re hearing a little too much about some other guy on a regular basis and his name starts to appear in relation to more personal topics, it should alert you to potential danger. It’s like she just can’t help thinking about him.
She’s giving you space — a little too much space
Just because many girlfriends become space invaders, it doesn’t mean every woman necessarily expects her man to be glued to her hip 24/7. However, if your woman is suddenly opening the floodgates to your free time and not flinching at how you two never seem to spend enough time together, this could be a red flag.
It’s one thing for her to be cool with you having personal time to do your own thing (hey, it’s healthy for your relationship), but it’s quite a different ball game if she’s nearly pushing you out the door or suggesting that you guys do your separate things too often. It could be that her hobby has become some other man.
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She brings up reasons to fight
You forgot to buy a certain brand of toilet paper or you’re five minutes late in calling her and she goes nuts on you. If, lately, it seems that all she ever wants to do is pick a fight with you, this could be a symptom of an underlying problem, such as dissatisfaction in the relationship.
Dragging you into the verbal boxing ring could also be her subconscious way of wanting to get a reaction out of you. If you fight back, this probably eases her guilt for thinking of another man because you’re not a saint yourself. It levels the playing field a bit in her mind. The best thing to do is not fight back so you don’t allow her to mess with your head, and so you won’t be painted as the bad guy.
She's more mysterious
There’s no doubt that mystery is a good thing — but in small doses. It’s definitely not an intriguing feeling when your girlfriend is keeping too many things to herself, giving you one-word answers about her day, or making you feel that she hardly ever wants to talk with you anymore.
If she’s usually the one who’s keen to chat, but lately all she ever does is murmur through conversation without giving away too much of her day, this can be a sign something’s up. Another sign is if she doesn’t answer her phone at certain times and you see a pattern forming. An example is if she goes AWOL after work in the evenings or on a weekend day, and when she gets back to you she gives you an unclear reason for her disappearance, such as: “I just had to sort something out” or “something came up.”
She’s less affectionate
If another man is occupying her mind, chances are she’s going to be distancing herself from you physically. This could mean she isn’t so touchy-feely anymore and there has been a drop in your sex life. In other words, you’re not getting any or if you are, it’s perfunctory on her part. However, less sex doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to open up the playing field. It could be that she’s going through a sexual slump.
Keep some perspective here. The key is to look out for any drastic changes in your sex life. If your bedroom antics have changed a lot from what was normal for you as a couple, then that could be a sign of impeding doom. So, that means if there’s suddenly a lot more sex, this too could be problematic. Not that you would have thought so, of course. But, you know what they say about too much of a good thing…