Who Is the Lamest Excuse for a Country Singer?

Nov. 10: Gwyneth Paltrow and Vince Gill perform at the CMA Awards.

Gwyneth Paltrow is not exactly our idea of a country music star. Tall, patrician, and impossibly slender, the Oscar-winning actress is what we think of in New York City as Upper East Side royalty. She attended the elite Spence school for girls in New York, and her parents were rich and famous Hollywood types from L.A.

In other words, she wasn't exactly crying into a bottle of beer over her break-up with Brad Pitt. More like Champagne, if anything.

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But like her old buddy Madonna, Gwyn is known for personality transformations. Not too long ago, she attracted public ridicule for her lifestyle newsletter GOOP -- which apparently is meant to teach peons like us to be as skinny and perfect as she is.

So we can't take her all that seriously when the GOOP goddess tries to sell herself as a country star to promote her new movie "Country Song," out December 22. Sure, her performance of the title song at Wednesday night's CMA Awards wasn't bad, but it wasn't really country, either.

That said, Paltrow received a warm welcome (and a standing ovation) from legitimate country stars.

"Gwyneth is a great singer. She did a great job, I think," Miranda Lambert told USA Today after the show. "She sounded really country, I think."

We'll admit we were impressed that she played the guitar. But overall, Paltrow belongs at the CMAs about as much as Dolly Parton fits in on Park Avenue, don'tcha think?